The wind howled louder, and the temperature in the woods plummeted. Branches swayed violently in the strong gusts, rustling “shasha-sha,” and leaves fell in flurries. A heavy rain was on its way.
Shen Jianqing wanted compensation from me, but he didn’t directly state what that compensation was. He eagerly led me back to the room, left me with a “You wait here,” and then went out again. Just as I was feeling confused and a bit uneasy, worried he might make some excessive demands, he returned with something in his hand.
I looked closely and saw it was my camera!
At the time, it had been in my backpack. I’d thought my backpack was left in the cave and hadn’t been taken, regretting that it contained many of my notebooks and fearing they’d be chewed up and ruined by wild animals. I never expected it to end up in Shen Jianqing’s hands!
“Are all my things still here?!” Finally, something made me feel a little less unlucky.
Shen Jianqing looked quite pleased. “I brought it all back; I’ve been keeping it safe for you.”
As he spoke, he skillfully adjusted the camera and gestured something in my direction. I’d brought a spare camera battery before, so I could shoot more material in the Miao village, but now it seemed Shen Jianqing was the one benefiting.
After adjusting the camera, Shen Jianqing finally said, “You look great in Miao clothing. I’ve always wanted to take a picture, but with your previous foot injury, it wasn’t convenient. Today is perfect; we’ve paid respects to Ah-ma, and your foot is healed. Don’t you think it’s quite a fate?”
“Fate” was just something I’d said casually at the time, and I didn’t expect him to remember it until now. I didn’t know where he was getting this talk of fate from now, but Shen Jianqing always had his twisted logic, capable of connecting several coincidences or completely unrelated things.
Night gradually fell, and the room became terribly dark. Shen Jianqing lit a candle, and the dim, yellow candlelight cast our long shadows across the room, eventually leaning against each other, creating a false impression of intimacy. He stood in the light, directing, “Li Yuze, you sit there!”
This request wasn’t excessive. I followed his instructions and sat in the center of the bed. It felt a bit strange; after all, who takes photos on a bed?
Shen Jianqing’s lips curled into a smile, the fair, pointed lower half of his face peeking out from behind the camera. He pressed the shutter, “click, click, click,” taking several shots in a row.
“Take a look, what do you think?” Shen Jianqing finished, holding the camera closer and sitting beside me.
On the screen, against a warm yellow background, I was dressed in Miao attire, my expression stern. Perhaps my expression was too rigid, lending a chill even to the warm-toned photos. But I had to admit, Shen Jianqing was very clever. I had only taught him once, and he could operate the camera with ease.
“You never smile,” Shen Jianqing complained in a whining tone after looking at the photos. “I see people outside always smiling when they take pictures.”
“I don’t like smiling for photos.” This explanation was weak, but I genuinely couldn’t bring myself to smile.
“But you look good even without smiling.”
As Shen Jianqing spoke, he looked directly into my eyes. We were very close, close enough for me to see my reflection in his pupils. Close enough for me to clearly perceive the subtle changes in his expression.
“You look good even without smiling.” Shen Jianqing repeated softly, but this time, his voice was very low and deep, with a captivating hoarseness.
He kept deliberately closing the distance between us. I tried to retreat, but my lower back tensed as he suddenly drew me into his arms, cutting off every path of escape.
The room was utterly silent, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Yet the atmosphere became ambiguous and dry. I took two quick breaths, like a fish gasping for water. His shadow fell before me, completely enveloping me in his shadow. In the dim light, Shen Jianqing approached me forcefully and assertively. His breath brushed my face, warm and suggestive. Shen Jianqing’s gaze was somewhat aggressive, but his voice was soft and low, as if pleading.
“Li Yuze, Yuze Ah-ge…”
A “boom” went off in my mind, and my cheeks instantly flushed crimson. The last time we were this intimately close, I had a fever and wasn’t entirely lucid. But this time, I was completely clear-headed, able to accurately and fully perceive his intentions.
“No…” Before I could finish my refusal, his lips came down. He always had a hundred ways to make me unable to say the things he didn’t like. I tried to turn my head away, but he pressed closer, one arm around my waist, the other supporting the back of my neck, leaving no room for me to dodge or retreat.
His breathing was ragged, mingling with mine, almost like a duet of gasps. The touch of his lips was soft, like a nimble snake gently licking my mouth, searching for an opening, trying to slip in. My mind was blank, as if a kilogram of paste had been poured into it, sticking everything together, blurring it, creating chaos…
Unknowingly, Shen Jianqing pushed me down onto the soft bed. By the time I reacted, he was already hovering over me, his eyes filled with dark desire. I thought of the violence in the wilderness that day, and the familiar terror returned. The scar on his forehead, from where I had hit him, had healed, leaving a faint red mark easily overlooked if not examined closely.
These past few days of calm interaction with Shen Jianqing had almost made me forget those painful memories. Ultimately, I was still afraid of and repulsed by such things.
But Shen Jianqing slowly moved his lips from my mouth, touching my cheek, neck, and the nape of my ear, leaving a hot, tingling sensation, finally stopping at my ear. “Li Yuze, Yuze Ah-ge… you still owe me once.”
My eyes wide, I asked, bewildered, “Owe you once?”
“Don’t deny it! We had a fair deal.” Shen Jianqing reached out to unbutton my Miao attire. I pressed down on his hand, but he wasn’t annoyed. He lowered his head and even gently kissed my fingers. My hand instinctively trembled and I pulled away, giving him an opportunity.
“Aren’t you uncomfortable? Li Yuze, let’s try it…” Shen Jianqing returned to my ear, enticing me with each soft word, like a mountain evil spirit that draws out people’s essence. “You must have been uncomfortable last time. Forget it, let’s do it again! This time will be different, I promise you… Yuze Ah-ge…”
Many people say that men are creatures of their senses, most easily dominated by their lower half. I used to scoff at such remarks. If you can’t even control your own body, how can you control your life?
But at this very moment, I felt I had to retract my hasty judgment. I am a normal man, and under Shen Jianqing’s insistent caresses, it was hard not to feel a reaction. He also seized upon my weakness, his hands as nimble as snakes, while his eyes blinked, full of laughter and delight. “See? You like it too, don’t you?”
I looked up into his eyes and saw my clear reflection in those dark pupils. Perhaps the current atmosphere was too ambiguous, making one’s mind hazy and deeply entangled, or perhaps there was some enchanting power in his eyes, or perhaps, perhaps he had put a spell on me—
As if possessed, I raised my arms and suddenly hooked them around Shen Jianqing’s neck. This was like an unspoken signal; Shen Jianqing let out a low chuckle from his throat, and I could surprisingly hear triumph in it.
Let’s be crazy then. Amidst the tumultuous rocking, I closed my eyes.
The candle on the table continued its solitary weeping, and a gust of wind from outside made the flame flicker twice before finally extinguishing it.
When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in bed. At this point, he was being proper, adhering to the rule of not sleeping in the same room before marriage. I didn’t know when Shen Jianqing had left last night; all I remembered from the last moments of consciousness were his shining eyes in the darkness and a drop of sweat that fell on the bridge of my nose.
I moved and found that my body felt clean and I was wearing a loose shirt. Only my backside was still a bit uncomfortable, feeling numb and swollen with every movement, not exactly painful, but certainly unpleasant.
Just as I was about to get up, I heard the sound of an iron lock opening outside the door, followed by Shen Jianqing pushing the door open and entering. The moment he saw me, he didn’t speak, but his face flushed first. Anyone who didn’t know might think I had done something to him.
“Yuze Ah-ge, this is the porridge I woke up early to make.”
I endured the discomfort, pretending to be fine as I got up and took the bowl Shen Jianqing offered. I didn’t know how to face Shen Jianqing or how to face myself from last night. When desire subsided and reason took over, reflecting on everything from last night, though I didn’t regret it, I found it incredibly hard to accept being dominated by my lower half. If I could claim that it was coercion before, then what was last night?
“Boom!”
Just then, a muffled thunderclap ripped across the sky, followed by the roaring sound of rain. The heavy rain, brewing all night, finally poured down at this moment. The rain drifted in through the window, some drops touching my skin, cool and refreshing. Through the small square of sky visible from the window, I saw the trees outside struggling under the assault of the heavy rain, countless leaves mercilessly beaten down.
Shen Jianqing was watching me, his handsome face filled with contentment. I thought for a moment, then put down the porridge bowl and, gathering my courage, said, “Shen Jianqing, could you please not lock the door?”
Shen Jianqing’s eyebrow twitched.
I continued, “I won’t leave, and I can’t leave either. Whether the door is locked or not makes no difference.” I finished, looking directly into his eyes, showing my sincerity, but my heart was anxiously awaiting his reply.
“Heh!” Shen Jianqing let out an ambiguous scoff, which only made me more nervous. Just as I thought he would refuse, he said, “Of course.” I was both surprised and delighted, unable to believe he would concede so easily. I had expected to have to exert more effort.
Shen Jianqing smiled and said, “Of course I’m willing to trust you, but Yuze Ah-ge, you must firmly remember what you said. You must not lie to me.”
T/N: I really love those “Ah-ge”, “Ah-ma” and “Ah-ba” terms🌚so I’m using them instead of father or mother.
