Shen Jianqing found me quite convenient and easy to command. For the past month, my days have revolved entirely around him. One moment it was water, the next medicine; sometimes he was bored lying down and wanted to chat, other times his blanket had fallen and he couldn’t pick it up. The most outrageous time was when he called me into the room, only to say his back was itchy and he wanted me to scratch it!
They say a long illness wears out a dutiful child. Several times I wanted to just ignore him, but in the end, I’d give in to his persistent calls.
“Yuze Ah-ge! Yuze Ah-ge!”
“Yuze Ah-ge, are you there? Can you hear me?”
Just like now. I heard Shen Jianqing’s voice from the main hall, urging me to appear before him quickly.
Is it a head scratch or a back scratch this time? He always found something to call me for.
I walked in and leaned against the doorframe. “What is it?”
Shen Jianqing was propped up against the headboard, his shoulder-length hair fanned out, making him look momentarily like a delicate young girl, though I knew that wasn’t the case. The scrapes on his face had healed, but that deep gash had indeed left a scar. From the corner of his right eye all the way to his cheekbone, the scar wasn’t prominent, but it had a faint reddish hue that was hard to ignore.
“Come closer.” Shen Jianqing weakly waved me over, appearing as if he was still very frail.
Remembering past experiences, I took two steps forward but still maintained a safe distance.
“What is it? Where’s it itchy this time?”
Shen Jianqing shook his head, sighing, “Did you smell anything?”
I instinctively sniffed, looking around, but there was no strange odor.
Shen Jianqing then said, “Move a bit closer.”
I eyed him warily, taking another step forward.
“Anything now?”
I sniffed carefully but still detected nothing.
Shen Jianqing bit his lower lip and mumbled, “You… don’t smell anything? My scent?”
What scent could he possibly have?
Shen Jianqing stopped pretending and said directly, “I haven’t bathed in a long time, and I feel really uncomfortable. Yuze Ah-ge, please help me!”
So this was what he was waiting for,he wanted me to help him bathe… bathe?
We were both men; he had nothing I didn’t, and I frequented the university bathhouse. But at the thought of Shen Jianqing, an inexplicable panic seized me. He and I… whether willingly or unwillingly, we had been intimate many times, but precisely because of that, I felt even more awkward.
“Your wounds still can’t touch water…” I tried to find an excuse to put him off.
Shen Jianqing said, “They’ve already healed! Even the scabs are almost gone!”
Hearing that, I replied, “Well, if they’ve healed, you don’t need me then, right?”
“But my joints and bones are still a bit sore.” Shen Jianqing moved his dislocated right arm and added, “and I can’t really lift it. It hurts when I lift it. Mmm, yes, that’s right.”
After he finished, he furrowed his brow, and the corners of his eyes drooped, revealing a pitiful expression: “Just help me wipe down, alright?”
My heart softened, and I had no choice but to go boil water and make preparations.
There was no bucket in the stilt house, only a wooden basin, larger than the common plastic ones. I filled the basin with hot water and prepared a cloth.
Shen Jianqing was already sitting up in bed, looking at me expectantly. Resigned, I stepped forward, bent down, and reached for the buttons at his collar. He wasn’t wearing his usual Miao attire but a long linen gown. However, the buttons on this gown were very tight, and I was bent over, making it hard to exert force. I fumbled for a long time but couldn’t undo them.
Shen Jianqing slightly tilted his chin, his slender, pale neck right before my eyes. I was already struggling to unbutton his shirt, but glimpsing that jade-like, delicate skin made my heart pound even harder. The more I rushed, the more stuck the buttons seemed.
Suddenly, my hand was firmly grasped. I looked up, meeting Shen Jianqing’s eyes. His eyes were dark and deep, harboring surging emotions. His voice was also low, like it held a hook: “Yuze Ah-ge… you’re making me really itchy.”
I stared at him blankly, suddenly feeling that the scar on his face didn’t detract from his appearance at all; instead, it added an indescribable ambiguity.
Thump, thump, thump…
A deafening sound exploded beside my ears. It took me a long time to horrifyingly realize it was my own heartbeat!
I snapped back to reality, yanked my hand free, and stepped back two paces: “Your hand can clearly lift on its own.”
Shen Jianqing looked down at his hand in annoyance, then at my determined face. In the end, he had no choice but to take off his thin upper garment himself.
It was already mid-summer, and after a heavy rain, the heat quickly returned. As soon as he shed his long, thin gown, his slender yet firm physique was revealed. Perhaps due to his age, Shen Jianqing’s body was somewhere between youth and young adulthood, slight but not frail, with a delicate, long frame covered by a thin layer of muscle. Yet, I had no doubt about the power such a body could unleash in an instant, having experienced it firsthand.
Shen Jianqing casually tossed his long gown at his feet and then said, “I really can’t reach my back to wipe it.”
“Then I’ll only help you with your back.” I said, wringing out the cloth and stepping forward.
Shen Jianqing had broad shoulders and a narrow waist. His muscles weren’t overly developed but were well-proportioned. However, his exposed back was covered with scars, most of which had already healed, leaving behind deep brown scabs.
The deepest scar was on his shoulder blade; it had nearly exposed the bone and would certainly have required stitches if he’d been outside. But Lu Qi’s medical skills were excellent, and Shen Jianqing’s recovery was strong, so now it was just a dark red scar.
Were all these injuries sustained just to get that medicine for me?
My heart constricted, feeling like it had been pricked by steel needles, it was very uncomfortable.
Before this, I had told myself more than once that this was his own choice; I hadn’t asked him to do it. Everyone must be responsible for their own words and actions, and I didn’t need to trouble myself over Shen Jianqing’s own decisions. So, I could sympathize with his injuries but absolutely not blame myself.
But as these shocking scars lay before my eyes, I began to imagine how he fell from the cliff, wondering if he was afraid in that instant.
“Do you regret it?” I suddenly asked.
Shen Jianqing immediately understood my abrupt question and chuckled softly, “I never regret anything I do.”
Never regret?
I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. I just suddenly remembered that he was the first, and so far the only, person willing to risk his life for me like that.
