“Who gave you permission to come out on your own?”
Seeing that I didn’t answer, Shen Jianqing repeated coldly.
That word, “permission,” made me frown deeply. “What ‘permission’? I came out because I wanted to.”
Half of Shen Jianqing’s face was hidden in the shadow of the leaves, his expression obscured, but I knew he looked grim.
I truly didn’t understand. I just wanted to go for a walk by myself, so why did his mood suddenly change again? Perhaps the time we’d spent together lately had been too peaceful and harmonious, making me forget that, at his core, he was a maniacal and volatile madman.
I detested this kind of relationship; everything was controlled by his rhythm, with him in charge of it all. If he wanted to live well, I had to cooperate with him to maintain the illusion of calm.
And that so-called calm was a fragile bubble, ready to burst at a touch, leaving nothing but shattered soap suds in the blink of an eye.
Shen Jianqing took a few steps forward, his gaze like a viper flicking its tongue. “Why didn’t you tell me? Not only did you not tell me, but you were also alone with that fool as well!”
Fool? In Shen Jianqing’s eyes, Ah Song was a lowly fool. But in my eyes, he had the most sincere heart with a flawless heart.
The most terrifying thing in this world is to talk about what love is with someone who has never learned how to express love in a healthy way.
I don’t deny Shen Jianqing’s feelings for me; he climbed cliffs for me just to pick a single herb, and all of that moved me deeply.
But the premise of everything is a healthy and equal relationship. Gratitude has a time limit; no one can live a lifetime based on gratitude alone.
I felt a surge of suffocation, as if an invisible pair of large hands had gripped my chest, making every breath difficult to take.
“I am free! I’ll do what I want, and I’ll see who I want!” I looked directly at Shen Jianqing, spitting out all the words buried deep inside that I hadn’t dared to say. “My every move doesn’t need to be reported to anyone, do you understand? Shen Jianqing, what right do you have to control me?”
Shen Jianqing stood before me, his shadow engulfing me.
“What right? You ask me what right?” Shen Jianqing suddenly sneered, lowering his eyelids, the red mole on his lid especially clear. “Li Yuze, are you a stone that can’t be warmed? Haven’t I been good enough to you? Is there not even a tiny place for me in your heart, which is why you’re questioning me, what right do I have?”
I calmly said, “But what I need right now isn’t that.”
My most urgent desire right now isn’t those things.
Back when I was studying Maslow’s classic hierarchy of needs, he categorized human needs into several levels, stating that only when lower-level needs are met do higher-level needs emerge. At first, I just memorized it as a psychological theory, but now I understand it more deeply through personal experience.
“Then what do you need? Freedom? Do you want to leave?” Shen Jianqing sneered, his eyes devoid of any humor, his voice suddenly deepening. “Don’t even think about it!”
As he finished speaking, he suddenly grabbed my wrist and led me towards the stilt house.
His strength was astonishing; it felt like he was going to crush my wrist bones, making me even wonder if I was his enemy. His strides were also large and fast, and I struggled to keep up. It seemed he had recovered very well, walking swiftly, no longer appearing frail.
I followed for a few steps and almost fell. Shen Jianqing didn’t care and just kept walking forward. I couldn’t help but struggle, “Let go! I can walk by myself!”
“Let go?” Shen Jianqing said, “Li Yuze, I will never let go.”
Anything I say now would only provoke him. It was foolish to reason with someone who was in a fit of rage, irrational, and not clear-headed.
He dragged me back to the stilt house, going upstairs without a moment’s pause. With a “thud,” he suddenly let go, and I tumbled onto the soft bed with the force. I was thrown dizzy, but I immediately propped myself up to stand.
I didn’t want to show any weakness in front of him.
Shen Jianqing stared at me with his eyelids raised, his gaze like a knife, meticulously carving and scrutinizing the expression on my face. He asked resentfully, “Why did you leave without saying a word?”
I couldn’t be bothered to argue with him. I wasn’t his private property, to report everything to him.
But my silence still provoked him. Shen Jianqing demanded, “Why do you treat me like this? You’re so kind and patient with that fool. Yet you turn around and act like this towards me! Am I not even as good as that fool in your heart?”
I frowned, feeling stifled inside, and couldn’t help but retort, “My world isn’t just about you. Can’t I even smile at other people?”
Shen Jianqing took two steps forward and gripped my shoulders, his expression ferocious, the scar at the corner of his eye seemingly alive. “No, you can only look at me, you can only smile at me…”
“What in the world are you going crazy about?!” I shoved Shen Jianqing’s hands away, utterly enraged, flames erupting from my chest and scorching my brain. “What do you take me for? An object for you to possess? Can you really keep me locked up my whole life?!”
I would leave one day.
As my words fell, the air abruptly solidified, and the room grew deadly still, suddenly plunging into an eerie silence. My burst of anger quickly extinguished in the frigid air, replaced by a growing unease in my heart.
After a long while, just as I was getting anxious, I heard a low chuckle coming from Shen Jianqing’s chest.
“Hehehehe…”
The laughter sounded particularly abrupt and sinister in the dead silent room.
“Of course I can.” Shen Jianqing said softly, with a smile.
My pupils contracted sharply.
Then I heard him continue, “Don’t you know, what you call fate is truly a magical thing. Back when you were choosing rooms, you just happened to pick this one. My father used to live right here, spending the peaceful and stable latter half of his life here…”
His smile was eerie and obsessive, his gaze locked onto my face. My scalp tingled, as if a silent thunderclap had roared in my ears, and goosebumps prickled all over my body.
Back then, Shen Siyuan, who was forcibly kept here by Ah Qing, also lived here?!
A prison—this really is a prison!
I couldn’t help but take a step back, my legs feeling weak.
Shen Jianqing’s thin lips were crimson, and the scar didn’t mar his appearance; instead, it added a touch of wildness. But no matter how beautiful his face, to me, it was like the patterns on a venomous snake, the exquisite disguise of an evil flower.
Perhaps due to the intense shock and fury, my mind went blank, and my body reacted before my reason could. I punched Shen Jianqing hard!
Shen Jianqing didn’t expect me to suddenly strike, but he reacted quickly, dodging my fist by turning sideways. I only grazed his cheekbone, but it quickly flushed crimson.
“Hiss—” Shen Jianqing rubbed his cheekbone with his fingers, his gaze at me not just angry but also mixed with a strange excitement I couldn’t comprehend.
This excitement, in my eyes, was no different from provocation.
I immediately lunged, swinging my fists without reservation at his body. Shen Jianqing recoiled two steps under my momentum, one hand gripping the fist I had swung. Seeing this, I aimed my other fist straight for his lower abdomen. But it was as if he could anticipate my thoughts; he intercepted my fist halfway.
Shen Jianqing’s strength was surprisingly great; I couldn’t break free from him. I suddenly had a flash of inspiration and tripped him hard with my foot. He indeed lost his balance. But I didn’t expect him to prefer falling rather than letting go to steady himself; I was pulled down with him, and we tumbled onto the ground.
We wrestled together like two wild beasts, neither willing to yield, but neither able to overpower the other for the moment.
Ultimately, though, I was very bad at fighting. Since childhood, I had always been the good child in the teachers’ eyes, the “child from another family” in my parents’ mouths. Because I once believed that as long as I was obedient and always came first in everything, my parents would stop their own affairs and spare just a glance for me.
So, this intense fight was a first for me. The last time, in the forest, I had a fever and was weak all over, and though I lost, I always felt that Shen Jianqing had taken advantage of me.
But this time, we were both recovering from a serious illness.
The surge of energy in my chest gradually weakened, and my strength was almost depleted. As soon as Shen Jianqing found an opening, he immediately flipped over, twisting both my arms with one hand and pressing on my shoulder with the other, pinning me to the ground.
Though I was utterly unwilling, I had to admit that I had lost again.
I was panting, drenched in sweat, my cheek pressed against the cold floor.
Shen Jianqing’s voice was steady, his breathing calm as he said, “Do you still want to fight?”
I struggled with my arms, but his hand felt like an iron clamp, holding me still.
He looked down and asked again, “Do you still want to leave?”
The answer was, of course, self-evident.
I pursed my lips tightly, saying nothing.
Shen Jianqing suddenly leaned down, close to my ear, his voice deep, like a demon tempting a mortal. “Say it, say you’re not leaving.”
His breath brushed against my cheek and my neck, it was warm and fiery. His face was also inches away, his eyes glinting with stubbornness and obsession.
But I closed my eyes.
After a long silence, Shen Jianqing straightened up. He still stood over me, still twisting my wrists, motionless like a statue.
“Li Yuze, I told you. I just love how you’d rather suffer to death than say a pretty, submissive word to trick me.”
As soon as he finished, he suddenly exerted force on my arm, lifting me up and dragging me straight towards the bed nearby.
I knew what he wanted to do and struggled even harder, cursing wildly and incoherently in my panic and urgency.
“Shen Jianqing, you, you let go of me! How are you any different from an irrational beast or animal?!”
“Now you’re willing to look at me?” Shen Jianqing bared his white teeth, laughing ominously. “What are you saying? I just suddenly thought of something fun, and you’re definitely going to love it.”
