They say you shouldn’t meet someone too stunning in your youth, or you’ll spend your whole life chasing their shadow. My biggest regret in this life is that I never even had a proper conversation with that person.
Speaking of my early life, it was naturally smooth sailing. I had a decent family, decent looks, and got into a decent school. Everything came effortlessly, naturally. Many friends joked about how much they envied me. And indeed, I knew my life seemed enviable.
But everything changed after that trip to the Miao region. I admit, I liked Li Yuze. Is liking someone a crime? Is liking someone a shameful thing? Neither.
But I quickly discovered that beneath his handsome and refined exterior lay an aloof and indifferent heart. He was good to all of us, concerned about our research, and supported all our decisions, but beyond that, there was nothing else. He was like an observer, polite and cool, detached and distant.
As the saying goes, “If you have no heart, then I shall cease.” Since he didn’t like me, I naturally wouldn’t pester him. I, Wen Lingyu, am not lacking in admirers.
Later, I often wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t participated in that research trip; my life would certainly be very different. But I’ve never regretted entering Shidi Miao Village. If I hadn’t gone in, I wouldn’t have met him.
The first time I saw him, we had just entered the Miao village, and I was curious about everything around me. Li Yuze was always entangled with that Shen Jianqing; I didn’t know what they were doing. So, most of the time, it was just me, Lulu, and Xu Zirong moving around together.
Looking back now, we truly were like naive calves unafraid of tigers.
We wanted to investigate and understand the dietary habits of the Unassimilated Miao people, and we presumptuously approached an old woman who looked very kind. But she didn’t seem to welcome us. She coldly told us to leave.
Just then, a very young, strong man walked in. Our eyes unexpectedly met. I saw his pupils suddenly dilate, his wheat-colored face gradually flush crimson, and his hands awkwardly unsure of where to go. I went up to speak to him, but unfortunately, he didn’t understand and just kept smiling foolishly and gesturing, expressing something unclear.
At the time, I only thought he was simple-minded, but many years have passed, and I often recall that scene. Every time I remember it, his smile becomes a little more vivid.
At the time, I only thought it was normal.
When I was young, I read that poem and didn’t think much of it. But later, I gradually came to understand the helplessness and sorrow within it.
Li Yuze must have sensed something, he urged us to leave the Miao village that very night. But Lulu and Xu Zirong suddenly fell ill, and the iron chain bridge disappeared, leaving us no retreat. I also gradually felt that something was wrong.
We followed Li Yuze, walking along the river, hoping to find a way out. Lulu and Xu Zirong’s condition worsened, and to make matters worse, Li Yuze also got injured. He voluntarily offered to stay behind. Though I was very worried, I clearly knew that if he came with us, we wouldn’t get far either. I had to get out quickly and find someone to save him. I secretly made up my mind.
But getting out was truly difficult. I, who lived in the city, had never experienced such hardship. Xu Zirong and Lulu were still sick. At night, they developed high fevers. Just as I lowered Lulu’s temperature, Xu Zirong became burning hot again. I was so anxious I wanted to cry, but I knew tears were useless at that moment.
The poisonous insects in the mountains bit me; my arms and legs were agonizingly itchy and painful, scratched raw and bleeding. In the middle of the night, there were snakes. The snake, flicking its tongue, stared coldly at me and at Lulu and Xu Zirong, who were delirious with fever behind me. I seemed to see greed in its cold eyes.
I trembled with fear, instinctively wanting to run. But I knew I couldn’t. Lulu and Xu Zirong were unconscious; if I left, they would simply be bitten to death by the snake. I picked up a torch and haphazardly swung it at the snake.
Maybe I was just incredibly lucky, striking the snake head-on. It recoiled in pain, arched its body, and quickly slithered off.
Such dangers were trivial in the forest. I once thought we would either be trapped to death in the woods or bitten to death by poisonous snakes and insects.
But we weren’t.
At my most desperate moment, he appeared. It was that man from the Miao village. Like a hero descending from the sky in the fairy tales I read as a child.
What girl wouldn’t like a hero?
But at first, I was very wary of him. He was interested in me, I knew. In such a forest, with my companions ill, I was powerless to resist anything he might do. Yet, he did nothing. He just smiled as he had when we first met; it was a simple, somewhat foolish smile, and then dutifully led the way for us.
So, he had come to guide us. I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling very moved.
We didn’t exchange a single word the entire way, only glances. I wanted to ask his name, but he didn’t understand me, and I didn’t understand him. We spent a total of thirteen days together, which was enough for me to fall for him.
I used to think my type was someone like Li Yuze, with excellent looks, outstanding academic performance. But later, I realized that falling for someone needs no reason; there’s no “ideal type” to reference.
If I had to describe him, he was like a mountain: silent yet reliable.
The day we finally walked out, I was incredibly happy. But then he suddenly looked behind him, his expression turning serious. He had never shown such an expression these past few days. I had a bad feeling.
He pointed at my chest, making a square shape with his hands, and said something anxiously, but I didn’t understand. It took a while before I finally realized he wanted my student ID card. I handed it to him, and he smiled, saying to me, “Aiyo, wai ye mou!”
I was confused, but then he abruptly turned and dashed back into the forest. That was the last time I saw him; his tall, nimble figure swiftly vanishing among the trees.
Xu Zirong and Lulu felt much better during the day, but their faces were still pale. I had to get them to the hospital quickly. My companions and I escaped the big mountain, but my heart felt empty.
Later, Li Yuze also escaped. He told me that his name was Ah Song. So, his name was Ah Song. It was truly sad that I only heard his name from someone else’s mouth. I just wished I had said a proper goodbye to him… If only I had hugged him.
A very long time later, I lived alone in a place very close to him, trying to learn the Miao language. The first sentence I learned was the one he spoke when we parted, etched deep into my memory: “Aiyo, wai ye mou!”
“Little sister, I like you.”
I only thought it was ordinary at the time, but that’s what it meant.
