RPDPHW Chapter 30

As the sun set in the west, its afterglow shattered into fragments of light, spilling onto the windowsill.

The soft radiance, tinged with the crimson hues of the evening clouds, cast a gentle glow on the pale face of the person in her arms.

That once deathly pale face now carried a faint hint of rosiness.

Was it the sunset’s reflection that painted this color, or was it the effect of Gu Qingyin’s medicine?

Or perhaps… was it the result of their current intimate posture, bringing forth a shy blush?

Lin Ziyan chuckled as she brushed aside a stray strand of Dan Wenshu’s hair, gazing at her peaceful sleeping face with a heart full of contentment.

In the end, she couldn’t resist. She lowered her head and placed a soft kiss on that smooth forehead.

It had been far too long since they had been this close. Such a rare closeness—it was deeply nostalgic.

A breeze swept past, carrying the unique fragrance of the person in her embrace, enveloping Lin Ziyan and stirring up the longing she had long suppressed.

At that moment, Lin Ziyan distinctly felt the faint tremble of the eyelashes of the one in her arms.

She noticed it—but she didn’t expose it. Instead, she simply smiled before lowering her head again, pressing a kiss to the corner of those lips.

She wasn’t pushed away.

Lin Ziyan secretly rejoiced.

Noticing that the person in her arms had grown even more flushed, Lin Ziyan’s smile deepened.

Yet, she didn’t continue her actions. Instead, she turned her head toward the approaching figure.

“What’s the matter?”

The newcomer was Zhong Shujin, who had been standing there for quite some time, holding the second dose of medicine.

She had seen everything just now—every moment of that scene had been imprinted in her mind.

This was the first time she had ever witnessed a kiss between two women, aside from herself.

The impact of that moment was… quite significant.

Especially after the not-quite-an-argument she had just had with Gu Qingyin, witnessing such a scene only made her heart feel even more unsettled.

Could there really be feelings between women that went beyond comradely affection—such shocking, unconventional emotions?

“Hmm? “Are you here to deliver medicine for Qingqing?”

At that moment, Lin Ziyan was speaking with such tenderness that it almost felt out of character. She glanced at the bowl of medicine in Zhong Shujin’s hands and smiled as she asked again.

There was no trace of embarrassment or irritation at being caught in the act.

This gentle Lin Ziyan was vastly different from the bold and formidable warrior who had once fought her to a standstill.

“Ah—yes, that’s right…” Zhong Shujin hurriedly responded. Seeing that Dan Wenshu was lying in Lin Ziyan’s arms with her eyes closed, she remembered that Dan Wenshu was not in good health and refrained from making any unnecessary noise. Instead, she softly reminded, “Qingqing said it should be taken while it’s still warm…”

“Alright, thank you.” Lin Ziyan gestured to the table beside the bed and said gently, “Just leave it here.”

After placing the medicine down, Zhong Shujin turned her head back toward the bed, gazing at the two figures nestled together.

Her eyes lingered on Lin Ziyan, who was carefully tending to the person in her arms, and her expression grew somewhat strange.

“You… do you have something you want to say to me?”

Lin Ziyan picked up the bowl of medicine and gently blew it on its surface. As she did, she glanced at Zhong Shujin.

“Hmm? If you have something to say, just say it. No need to hold back.”

“Oh… um… I just wanted to apologize to you… Earlier… it was my fault… I didn’t control my strength properly… and I ended up hurting you…”

Zhong Shujin spoke somewhat awkwardly. She had little experience apologizing to others and wasn’t sure if this was the right way to do it.

“Oh, is that all? It’s nothing! Just a small injury, nothing to worry about!”

Lin Ziyan was genuinely surprised that Zhong Shujin would take the initiative to apologize.

Not long ago, this woman had seemed eager to tear her to pieces—yet now, was she being so amicable?

Still, Lin Ziyan wasn’t the petty type. She wouldn’t hold a grudge over Zhong Shujin’s earlier hostility.

“That’s good… Also, I wanted to ask you something… I hope you can tell me—what exactly happened back then? “What did Qingqing go through that led to you saving her life?”

Seeing Zhong Shujin’s uneasy and hesitant expression, Lin Ziyan chuckled knowingly.

“It’s a long story. Why don’t you go to rest for now? After I finish feeding her this medicine, I’ll come find you later, and we can talk properly. How about that?”

Zhong Shujin nodded quickly. “Alright! Then I’ll head out first!”

Once Zhong Shujin had left, Lin Ziyan had already cooled the steaming bowl of medicine to a more drinkable temperature.

“Shu’er.” She gently traced Dan Wenshu’s lips with her fingers, chuckling softly. “Wake up and drink your medicine.”

The person in her arms finally opened her eyes, clear and alert—not the least bit drowsy, as if she had never been asleep at all.

She shot Lin Ziyan a playful, slightly reproachful glance.

Just one look—yet it carried a thousand unspoken emotions.

Lin Ziyan’s smile was warm and gentle as she propped Dan Wenshu up, bringing the bowl of warm medicine to her lips.

“Here, drink slowly.”

With such tenderness, even the coldest of hearts would be unable to resist.

After finishing the medicine, Dan Wenshu still did not push Lin Ziyan away.

She leaned against her, gazing out at the clouds and evening sky beyond the window.

“It has been so long… since I last went outside.”

Her hands slowly covered Lin Ziyan’s, which were folded over her stomach, and she gently held them.

Lin Ziyan didn’t need to see her expression to feel the longing in her heart.

She rested her forehead against Dan Wenshu’s shoulder and called softly—

“Shu’er.”

“Mm.”

Lin Ziyan turned her hand over, interlocking their fingers.

“If one day I am free to leave this Commander’s Manor… would you be willing to wander the world with me?”

Dan Wenshu trembled slightly.

After a long silence, she murmured in a low voice, “Nonsense.”

Lin Ziyan only chuckled, not pressing the matter further. Instead, she turned and placed a soft kiss on Dan Wenshu’s cheek, smiling as she said,

“In a few days, once you’re feeling better, I’ll take you out for a walk. How about that?”

Dan Wenshu sighed softly.

Lin Ziyan was always like this—gentle, indulgent. Her tenderness was like water, pulling people in, making it impossible to escape.

“… Alright.”

In the end, she still couldn’t refuse.

She didn’t know whether, given her current physical condition, continuing to indulge in such tenderness was right or wrong.

After delivering the medicine, Zhong Shujin’s emotions were still in turmoil.

When she saw Gu Qingyin, she didn’t dare approach and instead crouched behind a corridor pillar, secretly watching that busy figure from afar.

It wasn’t until Xiao’er came over and greeted her with a question—

“Miss, why are you crouching here so sneakily?”

Before Zhong Shujin could respond, Gu Qingyin had already turned to look in her direction.

Zhong Shujin wasn’t sure if Gu Qingyin had known she was hiding there the whole time, but when she walked over, there wasn’t even a hint of surprise in her expression.

“Are you feeling unwell?”

Gu Qingyin reached out with the back of her hand, checking Zhong Shujin’s forehead. Her brows furrowed slightly.

“You’re a bit warm.”

Panicked, Zhong Shujin took a step back. Seeing the way Gu Qingyin’s expression gradually cooled, she guiltily muttered an explanation.

“I’m just a little tired…”

Gu Qingyin’s voice was cold as she instructed, “Xiao’er, take her back to your lady’s courtyard to rest.”

With that, she didn’t spare Zhong Shujin another glance and turned to leave.

She was upset. Zhong Shujin could see that.

But she didn’t chase after her to explain anything. Instead, she let out a quiet sigh and followed Xiao’er back to the room Lin Ziyan had prepared for them.

Zhong Shujin lay flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling, motionless.

Her mind was a complete mess.

She didn’t want this unbearable feeling.

But she understood—if she stayed by Gu Qingyin’s side any longer, she would only lose herself more and more. She would always be led by Gu Qingyin, never truly walking her own path.

She would care about Gu Qingyin’s every emotion. She would fear her anger, afraid of being ignored. She would compromise for her, make concessions she never would have before. And she would feel emotions she had never experienced—

Jealousy. Shyness. An unshakable yearning for another woman.

Every single one of these signs screamed danger to Zhong Shujin.

This… was truly dangerous.

She was afraid.

But if she disappeared again without saying goodbye, would Qingqing still forgive her?

No. Definitely not.

Then… perhaps this time, she should part properly before leaving?

Zhong Shujin sighed. In the end, she made up her mind.

Tomorrow. After she asked Lin Ziyan about the past—about everything she still didn’t know—she would leave.

She would allow herself just one more day to indulge in this rare time together.

But this time, she would say a proper goodbye.

She would never leave without a word again.

She had made this decision herself—to leave the source of all these chaotic emotions. Yet the moment she thought about never seeing that person again, a sharp pain struck her heart.

Zhong Shujin let out a bitter laugh.

Comradly affection?

If it were truly just that, she wouldn’t be thinking of running away.

Sometimes, the only way to fool others is to first deceive yourself.

If even she couldn’t believe it, how could she possibly convince anyone else?

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to acknowledge or accept these feelings.

It was that once she did—once she admitted it—what awaited her was an abyss from which there was no escape.

She was afraid.

And so, she could only continue deceiving herself.

But people are strange creatures—repeat a lie often enough, and even the liar begins to believe it.

Tell yourself, over and over, that you don’t care—until one day, you actually start to think it’s true.

Zhong Shujin didn’t dare let her thoughts wander any further. She quickly kicked off her boots, sat cross-legged on the bed, and began meditating.

Yet, as she channeled her energy, that cold and distant face kept forcing its way into her mind.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get rid of it.

And so, in this state of distraction, she suffered an internal backlash from her disrupted energy flow.

Wiping the blood from the corner of her lips, Zhong Shujin didn’t dare continue meditating.

Frustrated, she yanked the blankets over herself, deciding to sleep and let her body rest properly.

Her master had once told her—“Anything that disturbs your heart must be cut away.”

She had always remembered those words.

But now, with Gu Qingyin occupying her every thought, she couldn’t bring herself to let go.

So she had no choice but to endure this torment alone.

She just wanted to sleep—to push away these troubling thoughts, even if only for a while.

But even in her dreams, that person was still there.

Sorry for the delayed update guys, it’s been a busy day.