Wen Yun stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Now wasn’t the right time to go to Xie Zhinan’s house. He was still sick and shouldn’t be disturbed.
…It shouldn’t be.
Wen Yun pressed his lips together without saying anything, his gaze slightly lowering as he looked at Xie Zhinan’s face.
Xie Zhinan had napped the whole afternoon and eaten a bowl of sweet porridge, so his complexion was much better than when he first came to the hospital. His hair was still a bit messy, which, paradoxically, made him look more obedient.
He seemed a little nervous. His eyelashes fluttered twice before he glanced at Wen Yun and then lowered his gaze again.
This was a temptation full of fragrance.
Like a soft, sweet cake placed in front of someone who has been hungry for a long time.
Wen Yun’s stomach burned with a corrosive feeling, searing up his throat. In an instant, his mouth watered, almost longing to put something in his mouth.
His heart was beating wildly in his chest, but his face remained calm, showing nothing.
The silence stretched on too long. The impulse from earlier faded, and Xie Zhinan realized the invitation was filled with a subtle, ambiguous undertone, which wasn’t really suitable between the two of them.
A hint of frustration appeared on his face, and just as he was about to say “never mind,” he heard Wen Yun ask.
“Do you really want me to come up?”
Xie Zhinan looked up at him, only to meet Wen Yun’s deep, dark gaze. His expression was still calm, but there was an indescribable… aggression in it.
Xie Zhinan couldn’t pull his eyes away, his throat dry as he swallowed and said, “…If you want to, you can.”
“If you want me to, I will.”
“…What if I don’t want you to?”
Wen Yun seemed considerate, his tone gentle: “Then I won’t.”
For a moment, Xie Zhinan couldn’t find anything to say.
Wen Yun politely asked again, his voice low and sounding very soft: “So, do you want me to come up?”
It seemed like he had given him an opportunity to refuse, but Xie Zhinan felt as if Wen Yun was cornering him.
His reason tugged at him, but his body had no desire to escape.
Xie Zhinan pinched the pad of his finger with his nail, mumbling indistinctly. He didn’t say yes or no.
But ultimately, he didn’t refuse.
Wen Yun acted as though he didn’t understand, repeating, “Xie Zhinan, can I come up?”
Xie Zhinan’s face turned red, his ears hot. Wen Yun patiently waited for him, and after a while, he finally heard the softest of whispers, almost like a mosquito’s voice.
“…You can.”
….
After getting out of the car, the cold air hit Xie Zhinan’s face, and his mind suddenly cleared.
Once he was clear-headed, regret started to set in.
It felt like he had gotten too close.
…In both the physical sense, and other ways.
The old apartment building had poor property management, and the light on his floor was broken. The space felt enclosed, with dim lighting. He walked slowly, with Wen Yun following closely behind him.
Very closely.
Xie Zhinan could almost feel his hot breath against his hair.
When he fumbled for the keys to open the door, his hands felt weak, maybe because it was so dark in the hallway. He had to poke the key several times before finally getting it in the keyhole.
Wen Yun didn’t rush him, just standing quietly behind him, waiting.
Xie Zhinan could feel the warmth from Wen Yun’s body. This building hardly saw sunlight, the air was damp, and it smelled of dust. But now, that dusty smell was covered by Wen Yun’s cold, sharp presence.
It enveloped him closely.
Click.
The door lock clicked open, and Xie Zhinan’s hand rested on the door, but he didn’t push it open immediately.
“What’s wrong?”
Wen Yun’s low, husky voice rang in his ear. Despite the darkness and the inability to see anything clearly, Xie Zhinan could immediately imagine what Wen Yun must look like in his mind.
He was lazily standing next to him, very close, so that when he slightly lowered his head, his lips were right next to Xie Zhinan’s ear.
“It’s nothing.” Xie Zhinan’s Adam’s apple trembled, and his entire scalp tingled.
“Aren’t you going in?” Wen Yun asked again.
“…” After a long silence, Xie Zhinan exhaled and hoarsely said, “…I’m going in.”
His slender, pale hand pressed against the door as he finally pushed it open.
Home is the most private place for a person.
Especially for someone like Xie Zhinan, who was habitually closed off and had a strong sense of privacy. Opening the door to let someone else in felt like prying open the shell of a clam, exposing himself, his most vulnerable and susceptible parts.
But his hesitation now wasn’t because of the discomfort of having his private space invaded.
It was probably more due to a sense of inferiority.
He suddenly felt embarrassed to show Wen Yun his narrow and cramped space.
The apartment he rented might even be smaller than the walk-in closet in Wen Yun’s home.
But this was the best place he could find for himself within the limited conditions.
He slowly pushed the door open and, from the shoe cabinet next to the door, took out a clean pair of slippers and placed them in front of Wen Yun.
Wen Yun stood at the entrance, his head lowered, staring at the slippers without moving.
Xie Zhinan nervously tugged at his pants seam, thinking Wen Yun might mind that the slippers had already been worn. He explained softly, “They’re new, never been worn. These are the only clean slippers I have at home.”
Wen Yun stared at the gray wolf ears on the slippers, not lifting his eyelids, and suddenly asked, “Who are you wearing couple’s slippers with?”
Xie Zhinan clearly hadn’t expected that to be the focus, and he dumbly responded with a surprised “Huh?”
Wen Yun lifted his eyelids, his pale face expressionless, his dark eyes staring at Xie Zhinan. He coldly said, “The slippers you’re wearing and these are a couple’s design.”
Xie Zhinan looked down at his rabbit-ear plush slippers, then glanced at Wen Yun’s wolf-ear plush slippers.
He hadn’t noticed when buying them that they were a couple’s design.
Xie Zhinan opened his mouth, unsure whether he should explain that they weren’t couple’s slippers or clarify that he wasn’t wearing them with anyone.
Wen Yun just kept waiting, his sharp, dark eyes fixed on him, persistently seeking an answer.
After a while, Xie Zhinan, as if a little embarrassed, rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and muttered, “…I got them because they were cheap, fifteen yuan for two pairs.”
Wen Yun, being from a wealthy family, probably never wore such inexpensive slippers. It was something Xie Zhinan had only managed to grab.
After saying that, when Wen Yun didn’t respond, Xie Zhinan became worried that he might have left the impression of being someone who liked to buy cheap things. He quickly added, “They’re really comfortable, I just bought them.”
Wen Yun still stared at him without moving.
Finally, Xie Zhinan, in a barely audible voice, almost like mumbling, added, “…I’m not wearing them with anyone.”
Wen Yun dragged out the “Oh,” but it was unclear what he meant by that.
Xie Zhinan thought for a moment and decided not to make Wen Yun wear the cheap slippers. He was about to tell him not to bother changing shoes when he saw Wen Yun, with no sign of hesitation, take off his Italian handmade leather shoes and put on the pair of plush slippers, which cost about seven and a half yuan each. He seemed oddly happy, as if in a good mood.
“Being frugal, it’s a good thing,” he said.
Xie Zhinan: “…”
Wen Yun, now wearing the same wolf-ear plush slippers as Xie Zhinan, finally walked into Xie Zhinan’s room.
Xie Zhinan’s apartment wasn’t big; the living room and bedroom were separated by a shelf with a few small decorative items on it.
Though small, the room was cozy, very clean, and neat, with a strong sense of homeliness.
There were two square cushions on the living room sofa, and a light gray thin blanket draped over the armrest. Next to it was a small white dining table with a transparent cup on top, the water inside almost gone…
This space was filled with Xie Zhinan’s scent—clean, soft, with a faintly sweet and fluffy fragrance.
As soon as he walked in, this scent hit Wen Yun like a wave, clinging to him intimately and completely engulfing him, causing him to freeze for a moment.
The Proustian effect.
When people smell a familiar scent, it triggers the memories associated with it.
In an instant, countless memories flooded back to Wen Yun. The first thing he recalled was how Xie Zhinan used to shrink into a small bundle when he was cold in winter, curling up in his arms to sleep.
When he woke up in the morning, he could smell Xie Zhinan everywhere—in his arms, in the blanket—his scent filled the space.
Just like now—warm, dense, comforting, intimately surrounding him.
The hunger and desire in his stomach surged, burning up to his throat, threatening to choke him.
Xie Zhinan stood in front of him, with his back turned, his head slightly lowered, exposing the pale back of his neck.
So delicate and fragile, with prominent bone joints.
He was so thin it felt almost uncomfortable, causing a tightness in Wen Yun’s chest.
Unable to control himself, Wen Yun stretched out his hand, his fingers slowly inching toward the white, slender back of Xie Zhinan’s neck.
At that moment, Xie Zhinan suddenly turned his head, giving Wen Yun a small, slightly embarrassed smile, saying, “My place is a bit small, sorry, Mr. Wen.”
“Mr. Wen.”
These two words struck Wen Yun like a heavy hammer, pinning him down in the professional relationship he shared with Xie Zhinan.
He abruptly pulled himself out of the memories, and the intimacy from the past shattered like broken bubbles, revealing the cold, harsh reality.
He and Xie Zhinan no longer had any connection.
Such intimate contact was crossing the line.
It wasn’t allowed.
Xie Zhinan, seeing Wen Yun reach for him, looked confused and asked, “Mr. Wen, what’s wrong?”
Wen Yun lowered his eyes, hiding the light in them. His pitch-black eyes were heavy, looking almost… disappointed.
His fingers curled back, and slowly, his hand retreated, falling to his side. He murmured, “It’s nothing.”
