RKNDL chapter 34

Xie Zhinan originally wanted to treat Wen Yun to something else, not make him sit with him and eat congee here.

However, it was the peak lunch hour, and the place was crowded. Given the short lunch break, they couldn’t go to another restaurant, so Wen Yun just watched him struggle without saying anything, as if waiting for something.

In the narrow space, their shoulders were pressed together, their legs touching. Wen Yun showed no intention of backing off. He just tilted his head and looked at Xie Zhinan, who had his eyes lowered, lips tightly pressed together, brows slightly furrowed—he looked troubled.

The thin sunlight filtered through the transparent window and landed on his face, illuminating the tiny hairs on his skin, making the entire side of his face glow with a soft, fuzzy halo.

Wen Yun looked at his face and suddenly said, “You didn’t tell me to hide today.”

Xie Zhinan: “?”

Xie Zhinan stared at Wen Yun, his face full of shock and confusion as if he was being falsely accused. “I… when did I ever tell you to hide?”

Wen Yun seemed to have a grudge book in his mind, remembering everything clearly, and he brought up an old incident: “When I first arrived at the company, you told me to hide in the convenience store downstairs.”

Of course, Xie Zhinan didn’t have such a bad memory, so he was even more confused. He clearly remembered it wasn’t like that!

“I didn’t tell you to hide.” He really glared at Wen Yun this time, his eyes wide open, earnestly defending himself. “I just suggested we sit further inside.”

“Oh.” Wen Yun said coldly, “Is there a difference?”

Xie Zhinan: “…”

Xie Zhinan, feeling guilty, rubbed his nose.

Well… maybe there wasn’t much of a difference.

He didn’t say anything, but with his ears turning red, he shoved his phone in front of Wen Yun. “…Boss, what do you want to eat?”

Here he went again, pretending and trying to cover it up.

Wen Yun let out a snort of laughter.

The boss was in a bad mood today and decided not to let him off easily.

Wen Yun said, “Xie Zhinan, you’re really bad at changing the subject.”

Xie Zhinan tried to deflect again: “No… I just can’t let the boss go hungry.”

“But you can tell the boss to hide.”

Xie Zhinan finally couldn’t take his sarcastic tone anymore. His lips drooped, his eyes lifting, the softness in his gaze and the pitiful look in his eyes as he looked at Wen Yun: “Then… sorry, can you let it go now?”

Wen Yun: “…”

Wen Yun was really a sucker for this.

He took a deep breath, and this time, his heart softened. “…I’ll have the scallop and shrimp congee.”

“Okay, okay,” Xie Zhinan quickly nodded, acting very obedient.

This topic was finally put to rest.

….

After ordering and finishing their meal, there was still half an hour left before work.

After the clay pot congee, Xie Zhinan felt warm all over, even a bit hot. Stepping out of the restaurant, the cool wind was a bit refreshing.

Wen Yun noticed that Xie Zhinan was about to unzip his jacket and he gave him a cold glance. “Zip up your jacket. You’ll catch a cold if you let the wind in.”

At this point, Xie Zhinan obediently zipped up his jacket, not wanting to provoke Wen Yun and bring up old issues again.

His jacket had a high collar, and when zipped up completely, it could cover the lower half of his face. If he tucked his chin in, only his eyes would be visible.

He buried his lips inside the jacket, glanced at Wen Yun, and obediently said, “Oh.”

The two of them walked side by side back to the company. As they passed a café, Wen Yun went inside and came out with a hot cup of coffee, then handed it to Xie Zhinan.

Xie Zhinan looked up in a bit of a daze and asked, “For me?”

“Hold it to warm your hands,” Wen Yun said. “If you don’t want to drink it, then don’t.”

The weather wasn’t really cold.

But Xie Zhinan moved his lips but didn’t refuse.

He slightly lifted his chin, pulled his face out of the jacket, and took a sip of the hot coffee.

It was slightly bitter, then sweet.

Having just eaten, he felt full, so he only took one sip, then held the cup in his palms to keep warm.

The two of them walked quietly down the road, shoulder to shoulder.

Xie Zhinan subtly shifted his eyes and stole a glance at Wen Yun beside him.

This had become a habit of his. When they were dating before, he often did the same, secretly looking at Wen Yun.

But usually, Wen Yun would catch him.

This time, however, it was rare. His obvious glance didn’t get noticed.

Wen Yun was looking at his phone.

After coming out of the café, it seemed like he had received a message that he found absurd. His brows slightly furrowed as he sent two messages back.

Seeing that Wen Yun wasn’t paying attention to him, Xie Zhinan gathered his courage and let his gaze slide more openly over Wen Yun’s face.

The fever that had plagued Wen Yun a few weeks ago had completely disappeared. From Xie Zhinan’s perspective, he could clearly see the contours of Wen Yun’s side profile. The lines were smooth and elegant, each curve perfectly defined.

From the dark, crow-feather-like lashes that fell from Wen Yun’s eyes, Xie Zhinan saw his straight nose, then the thin, slightly pursed, pale lips…

“You’re staring at me again.” Wen Yun suddenly turned his head and caught Xie Zhinan in the act.

Xie Zhinan’s face immediately flushed, and he weakly protested, “I-I wasn’t…”

“Tsk.” Wen Yun’s cold gaze swept downward, displeased as he stared at Xie Zhinan. “You dare to do it but not admit it, that’s an extra crime.”

Xie Zhinan: “…”

Xie Zhinan awkwardly tried to change the subject. “You… you looked at your messages and seemed upset. Did something happen?”

“When will your skills at changing the subject improve?” Wen Yun replied.

“……”

Every time Xie Zhinan tried to distract him, Wen Yun was helpless and could only sigh, “I’m not upset, it’s just that my cousin got into some trouble.”

“Your cousin?”

Xie Zhinan didn’t recall Wen Yun ever mentioning a cousin before.

He looked at Wen Yun, who then said, “He lives in City A. We didn’t keep in touch much before. We only reconnected after I came to work here.”

“…Oh.” Xie Zhinan always preferred to leave others space to choose what to share, so if they wanted to talk, he would listen, and if they didn’t, he wouldn’t press. Thus, he didn’t ask further.

Wen Yun took the initiative and said, “My aunt told him to go on a blind date.”

Xie Zhinan obediently asked, “How old is he?”

“Twenty.”

“Only twenty?” Xie Zhinan was a little surprised. “So early?”

Wen Yun said, “He probably upset my aunt.”

So, that’s why she told him to go on a blind date?

Xie Zhinan suddenly paused, as if remembering something.

What about Wen Yun, then?

A fragment of memory stirred deep within his mind, but before he could think it through, Wen Yun spoke up.

Noticing Xie Zhinan was in a daze, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Xie Zhinan snapped back to his senses, and perhaps it was some instinct to avoid the pain, but in that instant, he pushed down the memory that was about to surface.

“…Nothing,” he lowered his lashes, slowly shaking his head.

But it was clear he was unsettled, and the conversation fell into silence as he became more withdrawn.

Wen Yun himself wasn’t much of a talker, and the walk seemed to stretch, as if time was rewinding, like they were still in that estranged phase of their relationship.

Wen Yun felt something was off and was about to say something when he heard a distant voice calling.

“Ge!”

He looked up and saw his cousin Pei Rulian emerging from the company’s entrance. He waved at them and jogged over.

Pei Rulian was carrying a black backpack, exuding the youthful vigor of a student, and came to a stop in front of Wen Yun, flashing a smile. “Ge, I was just about to come to your office to find you, didn’t expect to bump into you here!”

Pei Rulian had just messaged him, saying he would come over later, but Wen Yun didn’t expect that “later” meant immediately, right now.

“Aren’t you going to class this afternoon?” Wen Yun had no choice but to put aside his desire to continue talking with Xie Zhinan. He furrowed his brows and asked Pei Rulian.

“How can I even think about class right now!” Pei Rulian immediately dropped his smile, looking pitiful, as though he was about to cry. “Tonight, my mom’s going to drag me back home for a blind date!”

Wen Yun didn’t even raise his eyelids. He coldly asked, “What did you do to upset aunt?”

“I didn’t do anything…” Pei Rulian said in grievance. “I just asked her if she could accept that I might not get married in the future.”

Wen Yun: “…”

Wen Yun thought he kind of deserved it.

“But the girl I like said she doesn’t want to get married…” Pei Rulian immediately knew from his cousin’s cold expression that he was probably cursing him in his heart. He felt a bit wronged, muttering, “But I think all these blind dates are the ones she had planned for you. She’s just eager for you to settle down.”

Wen Yun’s heart sank suddenly, and he looked at Xie Zhinan beside him without making it obvious.

Xie Zhinan, holding the cup of coffee that still had a little warmth left, had his hair tousled by the wind, some strands sticking to his forehead. They brushed against his eyelashes, causing him to blink repeatedly.

His expression was dazed, as though someone had suddenly thrown him into the icy snow after he had mustered up the courage to lie down on a warm, soft bed, leaving him confused and caught off guard.

Fragments of memories finally floated up like bubbles, rising to his heart before popping apart.

The past surged from the depths of the sea, slowly washing over the dream-like illusion of the past two months.
A voice, sharp as a blade, pierced his eardrums, cut through his head, and then exploded in his mind.

— You really think Wen Yun would be with someone like you?

Wen Yun’s gaze shifted, and he looked at Pei Rulian coldly, saying, “Go back to my office first.”

“…Okay, Ge! You have to help me! Mom’s going to force me to meet someone tonight!”

Wen Yun said indifferently, “I can’t help you.”

Pei Rulian didn’t care. He kept bowing and sending hearts in gratitude as he quickly retreated and slipped back into the company.

Once he left, the atmosphere between Xie Zhinan and Wen Yun fell back into silence. For a while, no one spoke, and only the howling wind and the bustling sound of traffic filled the air.

Wen Yun glanced sideways and saw Xie Zhinan with his head lowered, his hands awkwardly placed in his pockets, his lips tightly pressed together, making it hard to read his emotions.

It had always been like this.

Xie Zhinan never asked anything, and Wen Yun never said anything.

The consequences of their misguided way of interacting had been too severe, so in the long five years of separation, the first thing Wen Yun had learned was—

In a relationship, there is no need for unnecessary quarrels or misunderstandings.

He lowered his gaze, watching Xie Zhinan, and softly sighed, explaining, “I didn’t know about this.””Mm.”

“No blind dates.”

“…Mm.”

“And I won’t go on any blind dates in the future.”

“…”

Wen Yun had thought that Xie Zhinan would once again avoid the conversation, retreating into his shell without saying anything. But unexpectedly, this time, Xie Zhinan didn’t do that.

He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, slowly lifting his head. His pale eyes, bathed in sunlight, became crystal clear, and Wen Yun could almost see his own reflection in them.

Xie Zhinan looked at him with great focus, seriously, and said, “I know, I didn’t misunderstand you.”

This was probably the most earnest answer Xie Zhinan could give.

It seemed that, in his mind, he had to respond to Wen Yun’s emotions properly and earnestly.

He was even willing to cruelly pry open his own shell, exposing the hidden feelings and affection he had buried so deeply, feelings he hadn’t even wanted to admit to.

Xie Zhinan spoke ambiguously, but Wen Yun still understood the meaning behind his words.

He tacitly acknowledged the ambiguity between them over the past two months, which was why he answered that way.

But his reaction was strange, reminding Wen Yun of that day five years ago.

Xie Zhinan had appeared so suddenly, standing directly in front of the school gates. The weather was bad that day, the wind tousling Xie Zhinan’s hair and clothes. His loose shirt clung to his body, fluttering in the direction of the wind, making him seem like a tuft of grass swaying in the breeze, about to be blown away.

Back then, just like now, Xie Zhinan had looked at him with that same secret, soft, and painful gaze.

Wen Yun’s heart sank deeper, to the point where he couldn’t control his expression or voice, his voice strained as he asked, “What happened back then?”

Xie Zhinan shook his head. “…Nothing happened.”

Then, he tried to smile at Wen Yun, saying, “Thanks for treating me to a meal the other day. Let’s go back to the company… Boss.”

In almost an instant, Xie Zhinian returned to his usual self, but Wen Yun felt that he couldn’t quite read him anymore.

A cocoon seemed to have formed around him, wrapping him up lightly.

Just a moment ago, he had only just begun to peel away that cocoon.

Half an hour ago, Xie Zhinan had been softly tugging at his sleeve, asking him not to be angry.

Wen Yun’s dark eyes stared intently at Xie Zhinan. Perhaps Xie Zhinan couldn’t take the gaze and slightly turned his face away.

It was a posture of avoidance.

Just like when they first reunited.

After a long pause, Wen Yun finally moved his lips and softly said, “Let’s head back then.”

…

Xie Zhinan returned to his desk, and Wen Yun went back to his office.

Pei Rulian didn’t feel comfortable sitting in Wen Yun’s large, soft, and clearly comfortable office chair. Instead, he compromised and plopped down on the office sofa, sprawling out with no sense of decorum, holding his phone in both hands and tapping away at the screen.

A shy, awkward, and somewhat sour smile lingered on his face.

“Get out of my office,” Wen Yun coldly glanced at him.

Pei Rulian was someone who made himself at home easily, carefree, and his life motto was that there was no one he wasn’t familiar with in this world. If he wasn’t familiar with someone, it was just because they hadn’t talked enough, and if they hadn’t talked enough, all he needed to do was talk more!

His cousin was family, after all!

How could such words be taken seriously?

Pei Rulian unleashed his social prowess like a terror, clasping his hands together in a pleading gesture, looking pitiful. “Ge, if you can stop my mom from setting me up on blind dates, I’ll leave immediately. I’ll even do a backflip out of here.”

Wen Yun: “…”

Wen Yun replied coldly, “I can’t save you. Just elope if you have to.”

Pei Rulian: “…?”

Carefully, Pei Rulian asked, “Ge, is this how wild you are in relationships?”

Standing before him, Wen Yun looked down at him. His pitch-black eyes were sharp as knives, cold and emotionless as they fixed on Pei Rulian.

Even Pei Rulian, as oblivious as he was, could sense that Wen Yun’s mood wasn’t great at the moment.

“Ge, are you in a bad mood?” Pei Rulian asked cautiously.

Wen Yun stared at him for a while before speaking emotionlessly, “Thank Aunt’s kindness for me, but I like men. I won’t marry a woman.”

Pei Rulian: “??? O.O?”

Wait… what?

He just casually came out to me like this?

Is this okay???

Pei Rulian was stunned, blinking in confusion for a while before muttering in a daze, “Actually… I don’t think my mom has any gender restrictions… right?”

And then, as if a sudden realization hit him, he nervously added, “Then, the person you were walking with just now… was it…?”

Wen Yun looked at him expressionlessly.

Pei Rulian fell silent, then started thinking hard. The back of his neck felt cold, and he slowly began to inch toward the door. “I, uh… maybe I should just… go back first?”

Before his butt left the sofa completely, Wen Yun finally spoke faintly, “Aunt won’t really make you go on a blind date. She’s just trying to scare you.”

Pei Rulian, relieved, stopped moving, turning to smile awkwardly at Wen Yun. “…I was just worried, you know? I’m still pursuing someone, and if rumors spread that I’m two-timing, that’d be bad.”

“You know it’s bad, don’t you?” Wen Yun replied coldly.

Having already caused trouble with his loose lips, Pei Rulian quickly shut his mouth. After a few seconds of observing his cousin’s expression, he carefully probed, “Then… how about I explain things to Cousin-in-law?”

Wen Yun paused for a moment, then lowered his eyelashes, his voice low. “…No need.”

He had already explained.

But it seemed like that wasn’t the key issue.

……

Xie Zhinan spaced out after returning to his desk.

He had a well-developed self-defense mechanism and rarely felt pain anymore.
But just now, in that fleeting moment, he experienced a trace of humiliation.
That trace of humiliation brought a flash of pain.

It seemed he could never learn his lesson—never learn how to refuse Wen Yun.
And so, he nearly fell back into the abyss again.

…It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He wasn’t supposed to stay. He should have run—run as far away as possible.

Fading yet piercing memories flooded his mind, urging him to stay away from Wen Yun.

Xie Zhinan’s head throbbed intensely. Amid the fragments of memories threatening to explode, a dim and ambiguous night suddenly emerged.

The pain subsided temporarily. Xie Zhinan stared blankly, his hollow eyes wide open, as a subtle, warm sensation and faint scent silently enveloped him.

—Not long ago at Wen Yun’s place, Wen Yun had pulled him close, hooked his hand, and said, “See you next time.”

Xie Zhinan’s heart thumped violently in his chest. He suddenly wondered, what did “next time” mean?

Did it mean Wen Yun hoped to see him again?

But he shouldn’t meet Wen Yun again.

The excruciating, torn-apart pain nearly made Xie Zhinan nauseous. Yet, his self-defense mechanism quickly began to repair his shattered heart, plunging him back into numbness.

It was almost time for the afternoon work session.

He took several deep breaths, heavy and deliberate, finally suppressing these emotions temporarily. He managed to momentarily forget and cast them aside, turned on his computer, and began to work as usual.

Xie Zhinan thought he was back to normal now.

“…Xiao Xie, Xie Zhinan!” A voice called out several times near his ear.

Pale-faced, Xie Zhinan lifted his head from his computer and sluggishly responded, “Mmh.”

After that simple “mmh,” he realized his reaction was odd and somewhat rude, so he added, “What’s up Jie?”

Li Mo was startled by how pale Xie Zhinan’s face looked. She quickly asked, “Xiao Xie, are you feeling unwell?”

Xie Zhinan slowly shook his head, forcing a faint smile. “No.”

“Really?”

“Mm.” Xie Zhinan thought for a moment and added, “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

But just this morning, he’d looked so spirited—like a little animal that had finally been cared for, its fur glowing with vitality.

How had he ended up so lost and listless by the afternoon?

Li Mo gave him a suspicious look but eventually said, “Alright.” Then, as if recalling something, she continued, “I just wanted to tell you our department is organizing a team-building trip, and the destination might be an island.”

 

[mfn]

Author’s Note:

The draft stockpile is gone (sob).

Don’t worry, it won’t be angsty! Just a tiny hiccup to speed up the progression of their relationship. We’re almost at the story’s main plot where things will take a big step forward! =v=

Thank you all for your support!

[/mfn]