Saying he held no hope would be a lie. Xu Miao had even spent a long time thinking—if Xie Ge were to knock on his door again, what should he say when he opened it, what expression should he have on his face?
Even if Xie Ge wanted to hit him to vent his anger, he felt like he could accept it.
But imagination was only imagination. During all that waiting, the door never once received a knock.
Yeah… What was he thinking? How could Xie Ge possibly want to see him again?
Xu Miao didn’t want to delay anymore. It was already late; the hallway was empty.
As he walked toward the elevator, he opened a ride-hailing app, ready to call a car. But as he passed a dim corner, a force from below suddenly stopped his steps—someone sitting on the floor had wrapped their arms around his leg.
Xie Ge’s mask was still on. He tilted his head up, the hallway’s dim overhead light reflecting in his bright eyes. He asked Xu Miao, “Where are you going?”
Xu Miao was caught off guard by Xie Ge’s sudden appearance, but he still answered seriously: “Back to the hotel.”
“Isn’t this a hotel? Don’t you live here?” Xie Ge tightened his hold, his voice hoarse as if he had cried, “Why are you treating me like this? I came here with such high hopes, every day waiting to meet you like a happy fool. Why… why are you doing this to me?”
“I’d rather none of these past few days had ever happened. I’d rather you had never given me the slightest hope from the start, and just told me directly that you’d never meet me, so I could give up.”
“What do you take me for? Am I some kind of idiot? Am I that easy to fool? You’re so guarded against me—you even gave me a fake hotel just to force me to break up with you.”
“So breaking up is the best solution.” Xu Miao tried to stay calm, but the tremor in his voice betrayed him. “I’ll do as you said. I won’t appear in front of you again.”
Xie Ge didn’t follow his words. He leaned his head against Xu Miao’s leg pitifully and said, “My neck hurts from looking up. Can you squat down and talk to me?”
The words, no, I can’t, get stuck in his throat. Xu Miao could never harden his heart against Xie Ge—this time was no different.
He crouched down, lowering himself to almost eye level with Xie Ge.
With the distance closed, he realized the brightness in Xie Ge’s eyes wasn’t from the hallway lights—it was from his tears.
Xu Miao pressed his lips together and reached out to wipe Xie Ge’s tears. “I lied to you and made you sad. I’m sorry.”
Xie Ge grabbed his hand and rubbed his masked cheek against Xu Miao’s palm. The friction of the mask against his skin made a faint sound that Xu Miao couldn’t ignore.
“Why are you still wearing the mask?” Xu Miao asked.
“I haven’t slept well these past few days,” Xie Ge said softly, full of grievance. “What if you think I’m not pretty anymore? You already want to break up with me. If you see me like this, you’ll be even more determined to leave me.”
Xu Miao gave a helpless laugh. “But I’ve already seen your face. Wearing a mask won’t change that.”
When Xu Miao mentioned “seeing him,” Xie Ge could only remember how unpleasant every meeting with Xu Miao had been. He’d even said so many harsh things.
Thinking about it made Xie Ge want to cry again. He wanted to defend himself but was afraid bringing up the past would upset Xu Miao, so he racked his brains to change the subject: “I’m hungry. Can we go eat something?”
Xu Miao didn’t hesitate to refuse. “Go by yourself.”
“Why?”
“You said it yourself before. When I’m around, you can’t eat. You even said—”
“I’m not hungry anymore!” Xie Ge interrupted in a panic.
The attempt to change the subject failed. After thinking it over, Xie Ge still decided to defend himself: “Those times with you… I’m actually not like that, normally.”
“That night… he’d been following me for so long, and then pretended it was just a coincidence. He opened his mouth and asked if I’d sleep with him, like it was nothing. I was so annoyed. I thought—I thought…”
Xu Miao naturally picked up where he left off. “You thought I was the same as Chen Lu—gay—so you were disgusted.”
“I wasn’t,” Xie Ge continued to explain. “I just thought he was frivolous. I have a girlfriend, how could I possibly get a hotel room with him? That time, you were eavesdropping on us. When I caught you, you said it was just a coincidence. I assumed you were the same as him. And later, you kept following me. Even when I spoke coldly to you, you still… still tried to please me.”
The mask made it a little hard for Xie Ge to talk, his voice coming in uneven breaths. Xu Miao took it upon himself to remove the mask. Xie Ge dodged at first, but when Xu Miao insisted, he stopped avoiding it.
He said he hadn’t been sleeping well and looked worn out, but in Xu Miao’s eyes, he didn’t look that different from usual—just a faint shadow under his eyes.
Xu Miao objectively commented, “Still pretty.”
But Xie Ge had no time to be happy about being called pretty; his mind was entirely on explaining himself. “I’m not against gay people. What happened between us was all a misunderstanding. I told you before—whatever you are, I can accept it.”
“Really?”
Xie Ge nodded. “Mm.”
Xu Miao was silent for a moment, then lifted Xie Ge’s chin and suddenly leaned in close.
Right before their lips touched, Xie Ge turned his head away.
“No need to force yourself,” Xu Miao said. “We should break up. It’s better for both of us.”
Maybe the words were a lie, but subconscious reactions never lie. If he couldn’t accept it, he couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t even bring himself to kiss him; what use were all the sweet words?
Xu Miao couldn’t accept a purely platonic love. He always believed that if you like someone, you’ll want to get closer—closer and closer.
Like these past days: no matter how cold and sharp Xie Ge’s words were, as long as Xie Ge hadn’t fully and completely rejected him, he still couldn’t help but approach him, again and again.
Holding hands, hugging, kissing, even more.
Physical intimacy was the sharpest tool to express affection. Xu Miao didn’t believe spiritual connection could replace it. He was a hopelessly mundane person—if he liked someone, he wanted a physical bond with them.
But he was still willing to face reality. After all, from beginning to end, Xie Ge was an unshakable straight man. If the roles were reversed—if your long-term girlfriend suddenly turned into a man—few people could truly accept that without any reservations.
Xu Miao pushed off his knees and stood up. His flight was at six. If he went back now, he could pack his luggage and even get some sleep before heading to the airport.
But he hadn’t walked more than a few steps when someone grabbed him around the waist from behind. Xie Ge lowered his head, his forehead pressing against Xu Miao’s neck. “I’m not forcing myself. I was just… too nervous.”
Oh, what was there to be nervous about? Just a kiss. Who would believe that?
Xu Miao tried to pry Xie Ge’s arms off, but failed.
He really had no idea where Xie Ge got so much strength—hugging him tight, refusing to let go. Xu Miao actually couldn’t move a single step.
Conflicting emotions—anger and helplessness—flared inside him like sparks bursting into fire. Xu Miao’s voice unconsciously rose. “Do you think I’m going to believe what I hear, or what I see? Yes, I lied to you. So no matter how you humiliate me, I won’t blame you. I brought it on myself. I accept that. But you can’t accept this. Fine. Let’s part on good terms. Pretend nothing ever happened. Isn’t that better?”
“No!” Xie Ge shouted just as loudly. “No, no, no! Why do you get to decide everything? You wanted to meet, so we met. You say break up, and I have to agree? Why? Why do you get to decide?”
Xie Ge forced Xu Miao to turn around and face him. His face was flushed with emotion. “I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know you were Xu Miao. I didn’t say those hurtful things on purpose. You never tell me anything, and the moment you’re sad, you just want to throw me away. Your love counts as love, but mine is just trash?”
“Can’t I be nervous? The person I like suddenly appears in front of me, leans in to kiss me—what, I’m not a corpse. Can’t I be nervous? What gives you the right to insist I’m forcing myself?”
“You’ve only ever believed your own thoughts. From the moment we met tonight, did you ever ask what I thought? Did you actually listen to what I said? I tried to explain to you, you pretended to believe me, and the very next second you immediately tested me again.”
Xu Miao’s face betrayed a flicker of guilt or maybe embarrassment at having his intentions exposed. He looked like a balloon losing air, head lowered, not even having the courage to meet Xie Ge’s eyes. He said softly, “No… Let’s not fight, okay?”
Xie Ge instantly lost his fire, his voice dropping into defeat. “I didn’t want to fight with you. I was just explaining.”
“But your voice was really loud.”
“Sorry,” Xie Ge murmured, very softly. “I didn’t mean to. I just got anxious. You never listen to me, and I was scared that if I didn’t say it now, I’d never get the chance.”
“You were so loud, everyone could hear. Whatever else you have to say, let’s go back to the room.”
Xie Ge couldn’t help thinking that Xu Miao must have secretly learned some kind of magic spell that makes people obedient—because as soon as he spoke, Xie Ge instinctively did as he said.
He followed Xu Miao back into the room. As soon as he closed the door, he heard Xu Miao ask, “So… are you still nervous now?”
“Not anymore,” Xie Ge replied.
The moment he answered and turned around, before he could even see clearly, he was shoved hard. He stumbled and hit the door behind him.
Everything happened so fast. By the time Xie Ge realized what was happening, Xu Miao was already kissing him.
The dry yet soft touch of lips was unfamiliar and new to Xie Ge; he was so startled that his eyes flew open, his whole body frozen in place.
Moments later, he tasted something even more shocking—a warm, wet tongue slipped between his lips.
It was like a mushroom cloud exploded in his head. Xie Ge’s mind went blank. In his daze, he was nudged at the shoulder, and his instinctively leaning body was straightened.
Xu Miao frowned slightly, looking annoyed. “Are you a puppy or something? You bit my tongue.”
Xie Ge snapped back to reality, flustered and panicked. “S-sorry! Is it bad? I didn’t mean to—I don’t even know how that happened.”
Seeing Xie Ge so nervous that even his eyelashes were trembling, Xu Miao couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not bad. I was just scaring you.”
A moment later, Xu Miao added, “But since you’re not nervous and not disgusted anymore… Want to do it? We’ve still got five hours.”
Seriously?