TBS Chapter 33

Xie Ge opened his eyes. When he saw the white ceiling, his head was still dizzy.

“Ge? Ge!”

A face suddenly appeared in his line of sight. The person pounced on him, grabbing him, calling out with excitement and trembling, so loudly that Xie Ge’s ears buzzed.

His whole body ached. Xie Ge shut his eyes briefly—the only thing he could recall was that instant when the car came crashing toward them. He raised his hand to push away the noisy Xie Min:
“Shut up, will you? If I didn’t get killed by the car, I’ll be killed by your noise.”

“Pah, pah, don’t say such unlucky things.” Xie Min quickly pressed the bedside call bell.
“Brother Xu Miao kept watch over you all night. I finally convinced him to go get some rest. I’ll get your phone so you can call him right away.”

Xie Ge frowned. “What ‘brother’? Since when did you get a new brother? And his name even sounds just like my girlfriend’s.”

Xie Min froze, only speaking after a while:
“Are you serious, Ge?”

Xie Ge was speechless. “What, do you want me to be joking? And what the hell are you rambling about? I don’t understand a word.”

Someone pushed the door open. Xie Min licked his lips, darted to the doctor in a few steps, poked his own temple with his finger, and looked pleadingly at Hu Cheng:
“Dr. Hu, I think my brother’s brain got damaged. He doesn’t remember anything.”

Xie Min wasn’t even trying to lower his voice—the volume was as if he was afraid Xie Ge wouldn’t hear.

Xie Ge scowled. “What are you talking about? I think it’s your brain that’s broken. I remember everything just fine.”

To prove it, he introduced himself:
“My name’s Xie Ge, I’m a freshman in college. You’re my younger brother, called Xie Min. And I’ve got a girlfriend named Xu Miao. Right?”

Xie Min clutched his head and screamed:
“Totally wrong! Ge, you’re about to graduate college, what freshman are you talking about? I’m the one about to start college!”

Xie Ge fell silent. He thought for a while, then said:
“Then Dr. Hu, maybe you’d better check my brain.”

After a full examination, Hu Cheng gave the conclusion:
“This situation is because your head suffered a severe impact, which caused a blood clot compressing part of the nerves, leading to memory loss of the past few years.”

“Whether it can recover depends. It might be temporary—once the clot is absorbed, you could remember everything in a few days. Or it could be long-term, even permanent—you may not regain the memories even if the clot disappears. There’s no way to be certain.”

“But the good news is, apart from that portion of memory, your cognitive abilities and bodily functions are mostly unaffected. With some rest, you’ll be able to leave the hospital.”

As long as it wasn’t a big problem, that was fine. Xie Ge slowly closed his eyes—only to snap them open the next second. He shouted his brother’s name:
“Give me my phone, quick, quick, quick!”

Xie Min was confused but handed it over anyway. Just as the phone reached Xie Ge’s hand, he opened the camera, flipped it to the front-facing lens, and checked his face from left to right. Finally, he struck a pose, lifted his arm to cover part of his face, and pressed the shutter.

The photo came out well. Most of his face was hidden, while the bandaged injuries and small bruises on exposed areas were perfectly visible. Exactly the kind of photo he could use to play pitiful in front of Xu Miao.

Xie Ge was admiring the photo before sending it when the ward door opened again. He looked toward the sound.

A very good-looking face appeared. Even with pallor and exhaustion written all over it, the beauty couldn’t be hidden.

Xie Ge froze, then blurted out:
“Who are you?”

Maybe it was an illusion, but he thought he saw the person’s face turn even paler. For some reason, it made him uncomfortable. He quickly corrected himself:
“Hello, I think you’ve come to the wrong room.”

Xu Miao pressed his lips together. “No, I didn’t.”

Even though Xie Min had already explained everything over the phone, facing the reality of Xie Ge not remembering him still made Xu Miao unbearably sad.

But Xu Miao didn’t let those negative emotions control him for long. He immediately pulled a marriage certificate out of his pocket, slapped it in front of Xie Ge, and said:
“Let me introduce myself. My name is Xu Miao, and I’m your husband.”

Xie Ge was stunned, his eyes widening involuntarily. “That’s impossible.”

Xu Miao: “Why impossible? Do you discriminate against gay people?”

Xie Ge quickly denied it. “Of course not.”

He couldn’t believe he’d ever betray Xu Miao (his girlfriend), but this marriage certificate looked way too real. He flipped it open, and the first thing he saw was a red-background photo of himself with the man in front of him, complete with official seals and signatures.

He was dumbfounded. “But I already have a girlfriend. How could I possibly marry you?”

It felt like the sky was collapsing. He thought the car accident hadn’t just damaged his brain—it had knocked it clean out of his head. He’d woken up not only several years older, but now, out of nowhere, with a husband.

But he was straight!

He was a straight man with a girlfriend!

How on earth could he have married a man?

Without thinking, Xie Ge tore the marriage certificate in half. “Sorry, I don’t like men.”

“Alright then,” Xu Miao spread his hands, “but you need the certificate to file for divorce. If you tear it up, how are we supposed to get divorced?”

Xie Ge: “…”

What kind of shameless trick was that? His face turned all sorts of colors. He quickly gathered the shredded pieces together. “Fine, I’ll piece it back. Once it’s restored, we can divorce, right?”

“Ge! Don’t do anything stupid.” Just like when Xie Ge first woke up, Xie Min threw himself at him. With a sweep of his hand, he scattered the scraps of the marriage certificate Xie Ge had just collected. “If you remember later what you did today, you’ll regret it so badly you’ll want to jump off a building! If you’ve got nothing else to do, just sleep a bit more. Maybe you’ll remember everything when you wake up.”

After pouncing on his brother, Xie Min pounced on Xu Miao. “Xu Miao-ge, don’t listen to him. His brain’s not clear right now. Doing crazy stuff is normal. Let’s not take it seriously.”

Xie Ge frowned. “Why’s your elbow bending outward?”

(The idiom 胳膊肘往外拐 literally means “your elbow bends outward” → you’re siding with an outsider instead of your own brother.)

“My elbow’s bending outward? I’m clearly bending it toward you!” Xie Min was so anxious his face scrunched like a steamed bun. “Can you guarantee you’ll never remember again? If you can’t, then stop messing things up for yourself. Why do you always bring chaos onto your own head, Ge?”

His own brother was siding with an outsider. Xie Ge was full of suspicion and frustration with nowhere to vent. Suddenly, he thought of his trusty cousin, Liang Dong, and grabbed his phone to start texting.

Xie Ge: “This is terrifying. Do you know what happened? I actually got married.”

Liang Dong: “…”

Xie Ge: “Don’t you have a shred of sympathy? Do you even know how horrifying it is to wake up and have a stranger tell you he’s your husband?”

Liang Dong: “?”

Xie Ge: “If you send me another punctuation mark, I’m deleting you.”

Xie Ge: “Are we even brothers anymore? I get into an accident and you don’t even come see me at the hospital—how can you justify that?”

Liang Dong: “What’s his name?”

Xie Ge: “He said his name is Xu Miao.”

Liang Dong: “If you don’t like him, listen to me—just divorce. A melon twisted off by force isn’t sweet.”

[The idiom 强扭的瓜不甜 literally means “a melon forced off the vine won’t taste sweet” → forced love never works out.]