The Concubines Can Read My Mind and I Can Speak to Animals

Main Characters: Yu Wanwan, Zhou Jingchuan

(Completed) [Silly fun story + mind-reading + animal speech + cross-dressing + chaotic writing]

Yu Wanwan has transmigrated into a book! While others transmigrate into an emperor’s consort, Yu Wanwan becomes a fake eunuch disguised as a man! And not just any eunuch—she’s a records-keeping eunuch in the Bureau of Internal Affairs, responsible for recording the emperor’s activities with his concubines!

Good news: She can play with beautiful fair-skinned ladies.

Bad news: Her inner thoughts are being overheard by the concubines in the harem! And she’s a spy—her father is planning a rebellion, and her entire family is going to be executed!

Yu Wanwan wanders through the palace every day, smiling on the surface: “Congratulations, Lady Xiao, the emperor has chosen you again.”

But inside, she’s rolling her eyes: [The emperor has athlete’s foot; he better not pass it to my beautiful sister.]

So Lady Xiao claims illness and declines the emperor’s summons.

When the emperor happily grants a title to Noble Consort Shu, Yu Wanwan thinks: [Sister, run! Sixth Prince has sent a team to harm your unborn child!]

Noble Consort Shu refuses the title and moves into the Empress Dowager’s palace.

When Imperial Concubine Xian gets caught cheating, Yu Wanwan thinks: [Great job! The emperor’s illness can’t be hidden much longer.]

When the newly-arrived Consort Hui isn’t favored and becomes overly anxious, Yu Wanwan thinks: [Men only hold back my sister’s path to wealth! Isn’t making big money in the palace more appealing?]

So Consort Hui develops a fragrance that becomes wildly popular in the palace, amassing enough wealth to rival the nation’s treasury. After becoming a rich woman, Consort Hui voluntarily leaves the palace, seeking neither wealth nor power, only wanting to be with the eunuch, Yu Wanwan.

The emperor, furious, exclaims, “Am I not better than a eunuch? Drag her out and execute her!”

Imperial Concubine Xian: “If you dare execute her, I’ll rebel with my family.”

Lady Xiao: “I’ll have my father and the civil officials force you to abdicate.”

Prince Zhan: “Harm my Wanwan, and I’ll slaughter the entire world!”

The court officials: “Prince Zhan doesn’t like women because of Eunuch Yu!”

Yu Wanwan is dumbfounded. She was supposed to be a minor character, so how did the plot go so off-course?