TDH Chapter 21

A very deliberate, not-at-all-concealed cough cut off their conversation.

 

They both turned their heads back at the same time, only to see Pei Zi coming out of the bedroom. Li Que noticed that his hands were dripping with water, thinking that he must have just washed the blood off in the bathroom.

 

At the moment, Pei Zi was drying his hands while teasing: “The two of you over there talking about private things, could you pay attention to the setting? I mean, I don’t mind continuing to watch and listen, but still…”

 

Only then did Jiang Cenglan throw off the blanket and climb out of Li Que’s arms, running to the bedroom doorway to check…

 

Not dead!

 

Jiang Cenglan finally felt relieved, but to be honest, he hadn’t cared about that scumbag’s safety at all until moments ago. Li Que followed unhurriedly. In his hand was the contract that had been left sitting on top of the desk, the one that Jiang Cenglan hadn’t had time to sign last night.

 

To his ex-husband, sitting silently on the bed, he only said: “Come to my studio tomorrow.”

 

Then, without another word, he took Jiang Cenglan by the hand and prepared to leave.

 

But Pei Zi, on the other hand, left a business card for Zhang Ruien, saying: “Scumbag, I’m an excellent lawyer, you know. Feel free to find me. My name’s Pei Zi. I’ll even give you a discount.”

 

Pei Zi had only meant it as a joke. He hadn’t expected that the badly beaten man, for some bizarre reason, would lash out, not daring to aim at Li Que or Jiang Cenglan, who had already reached the door, but instead turning on the innocent person who had just carefully helped him with medicine. He even sneered viciously at Pei Zi, commenting: “Pei Zi, a woman’s name.”

 

Pei Zi froze mid-step.

 

Jiang Cenglan didn’t hear what Zhang Ruien had said and just urged his roommate: “Come on, let’s go, let’s go!”

 

But Pei Zi rolled up his sleeves, saying, “You two go first. I’ll take some photos, in case he tries something stupid later and it bites back.”

 

That did make sense, so Jiang Cenglan felt reassured letting Pei Zi handle the aftermath. He even asked him to tidy up the room a little, though in fact, there weren’t any obvious signs of a fight.

 

Once Jiang Cenglan and Li Que had left, Pei Zi shut the door. With a dark expression, he walked over to face Zhang Ruien, who clearly hadn’t expected him to stay behind.

 

Flexing his wrist, he chuckled: “A woman, huh?”

 

“A woman who will beat you to death.”

 

………………………

 

While waiting for the elevator, Li Que got a call from his assistant, saying that just now, a large number of paparazzi had gathered downstairs. Many of them were already negotiating with the hotel staff, their long-lens cameras ready. From the looks of it, they were trying to get inside.

 

Some might have already disguised themselves as guests and slipped in.

 

Li Que knew immediately that his schedule must have been exposed. But, even if it didn’t matter to him, sooner or later, that was bound to become a problem.

 

Especially since there was a little one beside him who absolutely needed protecting.

 

Therefore, Li Que made a snap decision. He led Jiang Cenglan into the service passage and took the staff elevator down one floor, then switched to a freight elevator next to it that led to the parking garage. Fortunately, they didn’t run into anyone suspicious the entire way.

 

His assistant was competent as always and, in a short time, managed to procure a low-key Toyota. But instead of getting into the backseat with Jiang Cenglan, Li Que tapped on the driver’s window, motioning for the assistant to get out.

 

Li Que took the driver’s seat himself and had Jiang Cenglan sit in the passenger seat.

 

“We’re not taking him?” Jiang Cenglan asked.

 

“No.” Li Que adjusted the seat while replying. “The chauffeur is at the entrance. He’ll leave in the Maybach.”

 

Jiang Cenglan nodded absentmindedly, staring blankly out the window. It wasn’t until Li Que had started the car and driven some distance that he realized something… he no longer gasped when hearing the word Maybach.

 

Had his soul already been corrupted by capitalist money?!

 

For a few seconds, Jiang Cenglan interrogated his own conscience.

 

“Put on your seatbelt,” Li Que reminded him.

 

“Oh, right, right away.” Jiang Cenglan hurried to buckle up.

 

As he lowered his head, his eyes landed right on the car logo stamped into the buckle. He thought about how he couldn’t even afford that car, one that, without import tax, was only worth two hundred thousand yuan[mfn]approx. 28k. I don’t know what kind of “low-key” car is that, but yeah, my imagination is limited by being poor[/mfn]. But oh well, he, Jiang Cenglan, a designer with limitless prospects, would, sooner or later, carve out a place for himself in that capitalist society.

 

So he immediately forgave his conscience and smiled faintly.

 

As for Li Que, he had no idea what sort of nonsense was running through his head. How could someone look melancholy one moment and then start smiling the next? Still, seeing through the rearview mirror that Jiang Cenglan’s expression had relaxed, Li Que felt his own tension ease a little.

 

That was enough, he thought.

 

The car, being low-profile, rolled out of the underground garage without drawing much attention from the media camped at the hotel entrance. Still, to be safe, Li Que drove a stretch toward Queens, only turning back toward Manhattan once he was sure they weren’t being tailed.

 

It was then that Jiang Cenglan suddenly spoke up, asking Li Que: “Where are we going now?”

 

“How about Steinway Tower?” Li Que countered. “Or we could go back to Long Island. The butler told me two days ago that the trees in the garden are blooming. They’re pink, you’d definitely like them.”

 

While waiting at a red light, Li Que kept glancing at Jiang Cenglan’s face.

 

Jiang Cenglan thought for a moment, then, before the light turned green, answered: “I think it’d be best if we talked in an open outdoor space, Richard.” He blinked. “If we stay indoors, I won’t be able to resist your charm, and then we won’t be able to talk properly.”

 

Li Que pressed his lips together, then quickly added: “We could do something first before talking, like go eat something we both like…”

 

“Richard, what we need most right now is to talk. I have a lot I want to ask you.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Li Que flicked on the turn signal, but right as the car started moving, he swerved right sharply, horn blaring. It was an utterly unexpected move, followed by Li Que rolling the window down, sticking his hand out, and flipping off the car that came dangerously close to slamming into them.

 

“…”

 

By the time they reached the next block, Li Que had turned on the car stereo. Only then did Jiang Cenglan finally realize what had just happened, bursting out laughing so hard that tears came out of his eyes.

 

“Don’t fuck him, fuck me please!” he giggled.

 

That got Li Que laughing, too.

 

……………………..

 

USA, as the world’s best country for road trips, boasted endless straight highways perfect for driving, framed by low and varied landscapes. Once they’d left the city center behind, the sky began to turn blue. Li Que rolled down the windows, and Jiang Cenglan leaned halfway out, resting on the frame to enjoy the scenery.

 

The mood at that moment was exhilarating. Jiang Cenglan absentmindedly hummed along to the music, only then realizing that Li Que was playing a Chinese song, I’m a Fish by Sunset Rollercoaster.

 

With half his face buried in his arm and eyes narrowed, he lazily praised Li Que: “You have good taste.”

 

“My father really liked this band,” Li Que replied.

 

At that, his face softened with a smile. Perhaps he was recalling some happy afternoon from childhood, because for once, Li Que’s expression was no longer the picture-perfect precision of a man used to being on camera.

 

The line of his shoulders and neck relaxed, and the smile that appeared was one Jiang Cenglan had never seen before, private and moving. Even a few fine lines appeared at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t appropriate to call them crow’s feet because, since his eyelids were thin and his eyes naturally long and narrow, they looked more like the folds on the tail of a betta fish. And yet, those lines didn’t make him look old, but instead lent him a unique, mature allure.

 

The kind of powerful charm that only experience could give a man.

 

Jiang Cenglan stared, entranced. He’d never noticed those lines on Li Que’s face before, perhaps hidden by the supermodel’s near-perfect control of expression. In all their previous encounters, and in seven years of screens and magazine pages, Jiang Cenglan had never once seen that detail.

 

Now, it was right there before him, close enough to touch.

 

As Li Que focused on driving, Jiang Cenglan gazed at his profile and felt simply happy.

 

He committed the moment to memory with his eyes, telling himself that the next time he drew a design sketch, he would add a fine line under the model’s eyes. Perhaps it could even become his signature watermark? Though to the unknowing, it might look like nothing more than a thick under-eye highlight on his character.

 

But in his opinion, those fine lines at the corners of Li Que’s eyes were much sexier than any highlight. Jiang Cenglan drifted off with that thought. Before sleep overtook him, he vaguely realized that seemed to be the moment when Li Que had finally let something down in front of him.

 

Jiang Cenglan felt the sincerity of their conversation.

 

The highway stretched out in solitude, but Li Que drove with steady focus. On that weekday morning, there wasn’t a single other car, and in the calm rhythm of driving without horns or overtaking, Jiang Cenglan, lulled by the white noise, settled in for a very satisfying nap.

 

The Toyota, even compared to luxury cars, offered nothing less in riding comfort[mfn]with that price tag, it better be[/mfn]. Curled up comfortably in the passenger seat, Jiang Cenglan slept soundly while Li Que occasionally glanced over during turns to check on him.

 

With each glance, the fatigue of the long drive lessened.

 

At the last gas station before their destination, Li Que stopped. Seeing Jiang Cenglan still asleep, he looked at his watch, then waited another half hour before waking him.

 

Jiang Cenglan woke to the sound of soft music.

 

But what really woke him was a fizzy, ice-packed cup of Coke.

 

The straw had barely been pushed between his lips before he took a big gulp. The rush of icy sweetness sent a stabbing shock through his nerves, also known as brain freeze.

 

Jiang Cenglan jolted awake, wide-eyed with the brief pain. When he came back to himself, he saw Li Que grinning at him, so he immediately leaned against Li Que’s shoulder, whining in playful complaint.

 

“Did you sleep well?” Li Que asked.

 

“I did. Even had a dream.” But he couldn’t remember what it was anymore, so it didn’t matter.

 

Li Que helped him unbuckle his seatbelt, adjusted the backrest, and then handed him a brown paper bag.

 

“When did you go buy this?” Jiang Cenglan asked while fishing out a burger. Looking out, he saw the gas station not far away, with a McDonald’s beside it. Picking the sauciest-looking fried chicken burger for himself, he left the leaner, healthier beef burgers for Li Que.

 

“Just now, before turning up the music to wake you,” Li Que said.

 

“You could’ve woken me up; we could’ve gone together.” Jiang Cenglan licked his lips. “I wanted some ice cream.”

 

“Should I go buy it now?”

 

“What I mean is, Richard, we could’ve gone together.”

 

Li Que only explained, “There’s a press van over there. I wasn’t sure what they were doing, and I didn’t want them to notice you.”

 

At that, Jiang Cenglan gave him a strange look. In a tone that to him might have sounded casual and natural, but to Li Que’s ears was almost chilling, he said: “What’s there to hide? Last time you deliberately exposed me to the paparazzi, didn’t you?”

 

Li Que: “…”

 

For a moment, he panicked. He immediately turned to study Jiang Cenglan’s expression, but all he saw was the back of the young man’s head. Having just wiped his face and hands with a wet wipe, Jiang Cenglan was now happily eating his burger one-handed while scrolling his phone with the other.

 

His demeanor showed no trace of unhappiness. Li Que scrutinized him carefully, but saw not the faintest shadow in his eyes.

 

Sunlight poured in through the window, kissing his face. When Jiang Cenglan noticed Li Que watching him, he glanced back naturally and said:

“Can you feed me a sip of the drink? I’m replying to an email from my advisor.”

 

Li Que held the cup to his lips.

 

Seeing him typing quickly with one hand while juggling food with the other, clearly too occupied for conversation, Li Que chose to eat his own meal in silence.

 

When both of them finished eating, Jiang Cenglan gathered the wrappers together, stretched his body hard against the seat, and finally pushed the door open to get out. The crumpled paper wrappers were tossed into the trash can with a smooth, basketball-like flick.

 

“Yeah!” Jiang Cenglan turned around, grinning at Li Que. “Three-pointer!”

 

Li Que squinted at him, expressionless.

 

Jiang Cenglan’s face was unusually delicate for an Asian. If one were to ignore his skin tone and shallow profile depth, the two most obvious markers of lineage, he actually looked more mixed-race than Li Que did. His features were as refined and perfect as a doll’s, and that often made people forget he stood a full 1.8 meters tall… or perhaps it was exactly his excellent proportions that made him resemble a life-sized male BJD doll.

 

“Let’s go,” Jiang Cenglan stretched lazily as he spoke.

 

Li Que stayed silent for a long time before finally catching on. He sighed helplessly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jiang Cenglan,” he mumbled, “how long do you plan on messing with me?”

 

Feigning shock, Jiang Cenglan exclaimed, “Oh no! You found out!”

 

Li Que: “…”

 

Bouncing over in a few light steps, Jiang Cenglan, lips still glistening from demolishing two fried chicken burgers just minutes ago, planted a couple of smacking kisses on Li Que’s noble face. He explained with exaggerated sincerity, “I wasn’t deliberately ignoring you in the car just now.” His eyes sparkled as he added, “But yes, I was imitating you. Now you know how I feel every time you turn on the charm just to steer the topic away, don’t you?”

 

Li Que’s face remained taut.

 

So Jiang Cenglan leaned in for more quick kisses, continuing to soothe him: “In the moment, of course, it feels good. How could it not? You’re my muse. If I didn’t like it, that would mean something’s broken with me as a man. But afterward, when I think about how I always end up dancing to your tune, I can’t help but feel a little insecure… and a little lost.”

 

He gazed at Li Que intently, willing him to understand.

 

And Li Que did understand. In fact, he had just experienced that very feeling himself.

 

“…Sorry.” He offered the apology. “I promise, when it comes to matters of principle, I’ll never do it again.”

 

It had been a long time since Li Que had apologized to anyone, especially to someone he cared about, so the words carried a faint awkwardness.

 

Which was why, when he asked, “Do you want to take a walk by the lake with me?” Jiang Cenglan agreed at once. Hand in hand, they strolled toward the place where water met sky.

 

…………………..

 

Jiang Cenglan had long heard of Lake Ontario in Rochester. The previous school year, some classmates had organized a camping trip there and invited him along. But back then, he’d been busy preparing for the design school’s internal competition, the very one that had led to his suspicions about Zhang Ruien, so naturally, he had no time for international-student social events.

 

Now, walking along the deserted beach with Li Que, his heart felt impossibly calm.

 

They wandered aimlessly until Li Que suddenly stopped. Jiang Cenglan halted with him, and the two of them sat down on a weathered bench.

 

As he sat, Jiang Cenglan worried for a moment that the bench might collapse beneath them, knowing very well that public facilities in the U.S. were notoriously costly. Thankfully, that one held out, creaking but standing firm.

 

“Summer’s already ending,” Jiang Cenglan murmured. “I feel like I never really enjoyed it, and suddenly, it’s gone.”

 

He tried to recall what he’d done that summer. Between the demands of his hectic studies, his most “romantic” plan had been to spend one wonderful night with his then-boyfriend, Zhang Ruien.

 

But New York was fated to be a city where love stories always twisted unexpectedly. That two-year relationship ended abruptly, and before he could even adjust, he found himself swept into another affair he had no power to refuse.

 

It felt like a dream.

 

Li Que understood the bittersweet brightness of Jiang Cenglan’s mood. What they needed right now was a deep, emotional conversation, so, after a pause, he quoted: “My whole life contained only one magnificent summer. That’s what Hesse wrote in Klingsor’s Last Summer[mfn]Klingsor’s Last Summer is a novella by Hermann Hesse. The story is an account of the final months of the life of Klingsor, a forty-two-year-old expressionist painter. A lover of poetry, a heavy drinker, and a womanizer, he spends his final summer in southern Switzerland, torn between sensuality and spirituality and troubled by feelings of impending death[/mfn]. Chenglan, maybe you feel this summer didn’t belong to you. But for me, it will always be the only summer of my life.”

 

Jiang Cenglan’s young heart was struck to its core. As an artist, the cultural weight of words always moved him, although his own formal education wasn’t exactly lofty. But that never stopped him from being drawn to people who could play the role of guide in his life. Once, it had been Zhang Ruien, imitating Li Que.

 

Now, it was Li Que himself.

 

Pei Zi had teased him about that once, saying his tastes leaned toward being submissive. But Jiang Cenglan had denied it then, retorting that throughout human civilization and modern history, the figure of the “guide” had always carried irresistible charisma. Great, unwavering, and compelling to follow.

 

Seeing Jiang Cenglan’s eyes light up, Li Que knew he had struck true. He quickly remembered childhood philosophy lessons, biblical passages, and all those moments meant to inspire. After weighing his words, he continued slowly:

 

“A person’s life holds only one summer, one that is like no other, and my summer began the day you gathered the courage to knock on the door of my villa. You can’t imagine how long I had waited for that day. You appeared before me… and I was saved by you.”

 

Jiang Cenglan swore he had never heard sweeter words of love. Out of Li Que’s mouth, they outshone every romance film ever made.

 

His eyes brimmed with tears. With a soft whimper, he threw himself into Li Que’s arms like a puppy, hugging him tight.

 

“Ugh!” he mumbled. “Now the mood’s all like this, I can’t even bring myself to hold you accountable! Honestly… you make me, you make me…”

 

Li Que’s heart was just as full.

 

He tilted his head slightly, intending to press a tender kiss to his lover’s smooth forehead. Perhaps even a French kiss would be nice, after all, in the French way of thinking, the mood was everything.

 

And right now, the mood was perfect.

 

So he leaned in, gently cupping Jiang Cenglan’s chin, bringing their lips closer.

 

But before he could close the final distance, he heard Jiang Cenglan whisper in the smallest, most expectant voice:

 

“Could you… Maybe sleep with me first?”

 

…………………………