Jiang Yi hugged the bedsheets and gave Jiang Sixian an exasperated look: “Yes, yes, I know you two were childhood sweethearts, and you’ve been pining for her ever since.”
Jiang Yi shook out the duvet cover and said, “Hurry up and get out of bed so I can change the sheets.”
Jiang Sixian obediently climbed out of bed and stood barefoot on the floor while Jiang Yi quickly stripped and replaced the bedding with fresh linens.
Barefoot on the floor, Jiang Sixian watched Jiang Yi’s focused profile as she worked, unconsciously wrapping her right arm around her left elbow before sliding it down to her wrist. She bit her lip anxiously.
She thought to herself that time had indeed left its mark on Jiang Yi—this serious, attractive side of her must have charmed countless people over the years.
On the day she recognized Jiang Yi, she had immediately ordered an investigation into Jiang Yi’s past. Whether out of fear or avoidance, Jiang Sixian deliberately refrained from looking into Jiang Yi’s romantic history.
Jiang Yi didn’t remember her.
In the summer before Jiang Sixian turned eighteen, the two lost contact with each other in this world. They missed six years—six blank pages in Jiang Yi’s life story that Jiang Sixian knew nothing about.
She didn’t know what kind of people Jiang Yi had met during those ambiguous adolescent years, whether she’d experienced similarly hazy emotions with someone else, or worse—whether someone else had already possessed Jiang Yi.
Had she been happy? Was there someone to comfort her when she was sad?
With her fragmented memories, Jiang Yi had little past to speak of, even feeling like she didn’t belong in this world. How lonely must it have been to live like that?
Had anyone ever eased that loneliness?
These chaotic thoughts swirled through Jiang Sixian’s mind. Remembering Jiang Yi’s vague answers during those feverish days, confirming that no one had truly been close to Jiang Yi all these years, her heart ached with both pity and relief.
Thank goodness it wasn’t too late. Thank goodness Jiang Yi was still hers.
Jiang Sixian gazed at her obsessively for a long moment until Jiang Yi, having finished making the bed in a flurry, turned and met that infatuated stare. Her heart skipped a heavy beat.
Even while clearly recognizing in her heart that Jiang Sixian’s love wasn’t for her, facing such a look still made Jiang Yi’s pulse race.
She raised a hand to scratch her cheek in a masking gesture. “Get back in bed. You’ve barely slept these past few days—rest a while longer. I need to go take care of some things.”
Barefoot, Jiang Sixian stepped closer to Jiang Yi, tilting her head up slightly to gaze at her with tender eyes. “Jiang Yi…”
Jiang Yi straightened, looking down at her as she responded softly, “What is it?”
Jiang Sixian reached up, her fingertips tracing the mature contours of Jiang Yi’s face—so different from her teenage years—gliding down the bridge of her nose until her thumb pressed against Jiang Yi’s chin.
Rubbing the nearly imperceptible scar there with her thumb, Jiang Sixian asked with quiet intensity, “Have you thought about what we discussed this morning?”
Jiang Yi blinked. This morning? Did she mean the conversation about being taken care of?
Jiang Yi didn’t particularly mind. She didn’t dislike Jiang Sixian, and if they both had needs, there was no harm in comforting each other.
Allowing Jiang Sixian to trace her face—just as she’d indulged her these past few days—Jiang Yi stood tall and answered, “You mean about being your suppressant?”
“That’s fine. As long as the terms are fair, we can do that. But as for you supporting me financially—no way.”
Jiang Yi tilted her head, considering. “I’m not short on money, and I don’t want anything from you. For an equal exchange—you need my body, I need yours—that’s the most appropriate arrangement.”
Jiang Yi was surprisingly open about it. After laying all her cards on the table with Jiang Sixian, not to mention spending these shameless days in bed together, once you cross certain boundaries, shame becomes irrelevant.
Jiang Sixian bit her lip lightly, eyes widening with disbelief. Her hand stilled on Jiang Yi’s face as her lips trembled. “That’s not what I meant. I was talking about marrying me.”
Hearing a marriage proposal while sober still made Jiang Yi blush. Even knowing it was directed at her body rather than herself, she couldn’t control the heat rising to her face.
She pinched her earlobe, embarrassed. “Oh…that. I still can’t agree to that.”
“Even if you say this body belongs to your lover, I’m its current owner. I can’t offer myself up as repayment for being reborn. As for what you mentioned about wanting children and needing someone as your suppressant—I can provide those services.”
“But marriage is different. It’s something that seems unnecessary yet holds a certain sacredness to me. Even knowing you want to marry this body, I can’t help feeling like you’re proposing to me. Jiang Sixian, that wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
In truth, Jiang Sixian did want to marry her—not anyone else, but Jiang Yi herself.
Jiang Sixian thought that whether amnesiac or not, Jiang Yi remained as dense as a block of wood. Her affection was so obvious, yet Jiang Yi kept misinterpreting it.
Jiang Sixian placed her hands on Jiang Yi’s shoulders, narrowing her eyes dangerously. “So what you’re saying is, you want me to support you.”
Jiang Yi scratched her cheek. “Not necessarily. We could draw up a contract outlining mutual obligations. But six kids? Let’s not go there.”
“If you want a child from this body, I can provide one through external means—a child grown outside the womb.”
Jiang Yi’s implication was clear: she didn’t want Jiang Sixian to get pregnant. If they had to have a child, it would have to be through ectogenesis.
Jiang Sixian didn’t understand her firm stance on this. “What’s the difference? Either way, it would be our child together.”
Jiang Yi smiled faintly. “Even though your existence constantly reminds me this body isn’t entirely mine—that even children born from it might not be ‘mine’—I’ve lived alone in this world for six years and have long since accepted myself as I am.”
“Waking up after drowning, my military service—they’re all precious experiences that make up my life. I accept my identity because I’ve long understood I’m a cuckoo in someone else’s nest, so there’s no psychological burden.”
“In that context, a child connected to me by blood holds special meaning. If it were my own child, conceived traditionally with an omega or beta because I wanted them to exist—that would be one thing.”
“But external conception is different. At least I could tell myself it was just a sperm donation—that the child’s connection to me isn’t that important.”
Jiang Yi paused before continuing, “Jiang Sixian, I could never raise my own offspring with someone who doesn’t love me.”
Jiang Sixian’s gaze sharpened instantly. Her fingers slid down to rest lightly on Jiang Yi’s throat as she said dangerously, “But you know I do love you.”
Jiang Yi sighed. “I know—you mean this body that once held Jiang Yi’s soul. But that’s not me, Jiang Sixian.”
Jiang Sixian pushed Jiang Yi onto the bed, looming over her. “What difference does it make, Jiang Yi? Loving your body means loving you.”
As she spoke, Jiang Sixian climbed onto the bed, straddling Jiang Yi.
Jiang Yi didn’t resist, lying back comfortably with her arms behind her head as she regarded Jiang Sixian with a lazy tilt of her head. “Of course there’s a difference. Do you know me as a person? My values? My perspectives? My principles?”
“In other words—do you know the soul inhabiting this body?”
Jiang Yi looked up at her calmly. “Jiang Sixian, you can have my body, but my soul remains detached. I’m ultimately not your Jiang Yi. What’s between us can’t be called love—just a physical transaction.”
Her words gave Jiang Sixian pause. In her single-minded focus to keep Jiang Yi by her side, she’d overlooked Jiang Yi’s deeper emotional needs.
Perhaps subconsciously, she couldn’t accept that Jiang Yi might not love her—might even love someone else.
Though her body attracted Jiang Yi now, what about her soul? After six years, even if they filled in each other’s gaps, the Jiang Yi who’d lived through so much had changed—just as she had.
Countless thoughts flashed through Jiang Sixian’s mind, but one remained: she would still cling to Jiang Yi desperately, keep her close, make her fall in love again.
If her younger, more naive self could do it, why couldn’t she now?
She’d long understood that even if it cost her life, her everything—she could never lose Jiang Yi again.
She’d prayed so fervently before—if Jiang Yi could just come back alive, she’d do anything.
All pretense, all restraint—none of it mattered when facing the one you loved.
Jiang Sixian leaned down until her breath mingled with Jiang Yi’s, staring intently.
Their shared air carried Jiang Sixian’s pheromones, and Jiang Yi’s already raised white flag of surrender lifted even higher.
I love you I love you I love you…
The small room brimmed with Jiang Sixian’s silent declarations. Jiang Yi stared at the ceiling, resigning herself to her body’s shameless betrayal.
Damn it—why were alphas such weak creatures? Making her lose face like this every day.
Jiang Sixian immediately noticed her reaction, her smile widening as she pressed a kiss to Jiang Yi’s lips. “I accept your proposal. But how long should this arrangement last?”
Jiang Yi wrapped an arm around her waist, answering vaguely, “Until we each find someone we love, I guess.”
Jiang Sixian nipped Jiang Yi’s lip lightly in protest. “No, Jiang Yi…this body has always belonged to me. Until I let go, you can’t love anyone else.”
This way, whether Jiang Yi fell for her again or not, she could keep Jiang Yi forever. Even if it was just her body—she’d gladly offer herself.
She would never let go. Never move on. Never stop loving Jiang Yi.
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