At 10 PM, the Salted Fish Retirement Group[mfn]养老咸鱼群 (yǎng lǎo xián yú qún) – 养老 (yǎng lǎo) = lit. “retirement/elderly care,” ; 咸鱼 (xián yú) = lit. “salted fish,” a popular internet meme meaning someone who has given up on ambition[/mfn] chat exploded with activity from a message from Dingdang Cat Is Not Crotch Watching[mfn]盯裆不是叮当猫 (dīng dāng bùshì dīng dāng māo) – a pun-based username contrasting the suggestive phrase “盯裆” (dīng dāng – staring at crotch) with the innocent “叮当猫” (dīng dāng māo – refers to Doraemon)[/mfn].
【@Lao Zhu Want to know what Lu Xi’s first resource is after returning to the country?】
【!!! Dingdang Cat works at CatTV, holy crap, Lu Xi’s latched onto CatTV’s big thigh?】
【CatTV has a girl group survival show coming up. Don’t tell me Lu Xi’s gonna be a mentor?】
【Emmmm not to talk shit about Xixi. His stage presence is fire and everyone says he’s talented, but he’s not qualified to be a mentor yet. Mentors don’t get picked just on talent.】
【@Lao Zhu @Lao Zhu get out here.】
Zhu Li was lurking the whole time. No one in the group was actually Lu Xi’s official fan, so showing too much excitement would’ve been weird. Playing along, she dropped a Your daddy is here.jpg.
【Lao Zhu showed up! Kitty, spill the tea or we’re yanking your pants off.】
【+1 for yanking the pants.】
Dingdang Is Not Crotch Watching posted a yellow-picture emoji before finally replying:
【It’s confirmed. Our studio’s own project Are you ready, Actor? mentioned it before. Anyone wanna be in the live audience? I can get you in.】
【Lu Xi’s doing Actor???】
【What’s he thinking? Idol switching tracks now?】
【Nah, live tapings are boring as hell.】
【Not going + ID card. I’m a homebody, not about to go through that ticketing hassle.】
A string of “Not going”s flooded the chat.
Zhu Li felt a little tempted.
【If I remember right, one of the mentors is Zhao Ziyang. Isn’t that the jerk who trashed Lu Xi four years ago? You CatTV folks did this on purpose, huh? This is gonna be juicy.】
【Zhao Ziyang’s just a rabid dog with money. Acting like he’s all “real and blunt,” chasing after whoever’s trending just to cast them in his disgusting youth movie about abortion. Gross.】
【CatTV is really messy for this. Sure, Zhao Ziyang’s mouthy, but you know it’ll be great for the show’s hype. Definitely a pre-release boost.】
【That crappy movie Sea Girl was just a cruise full of hot models with a poster selling nudity. And he shaded Lu Xi by saying, “We originally considered Lu Xi for the lead, but he was too immature to handle the depth I wanted.”?? That crappy movie has no deep meaning.】
【Hahaha Lu Xi’s clapback had me in stitches. “Know your place. Back off.” Then he quit the scene, the movie flopped, and Zhao Ziyang went full banshee mode, dropping like ten disses at once.】
【Lu Xi’s always been drama-prone by nature. That’s why he gets hot and goes viral.】
【Now I’m kinda looking forward to Actor. Damn it, you guys convinced me.】
Calico Cat had just posted that when Zhu Li immediately @’d her.
【Wanna go? I just got a job in S City. Perfect chance to meet IRL.】
Calico Cat who was casually eating melons, didn’t expect to get summoned.
【Uh… alright, let’s go.】
【@Dingdang Is Not Crotch Watching, jie what day is the taping?】
【Day after tomorrow, Thursday. Audience seating is for Thursday and Saturday. Lu Xi was added last minute.】
—
Jinjiang City is just a 40-minute high-speed train ride from the Actor filming building in S City.
The taping was scheduled for three days, Thursday through Saturday. Lu Xi confirmed his schedule with Director Wang. Thursday’s shoot would be light and will wrap by 3 or 4 PM. Friday and Saturday would run late into the night.
He could hire a nanny to watch Doubao and Dougao for two nights, or ask Pete for help.
But Lu Xi decided to come home Thursday to pick up the kids himself, and take them off school Friday too.
“You’re coming to work with Daddy.”
Lu Xi explained the plan briefly to the twins. Doubao threw himself into Daddy’s arms, cooing, “Yay! I love going to work with Daddy!”
“I’m just worried you’ll cry yourself into a facial mask,” Lu Xi swept up the little boss Dougao too. “Come on, my little treasure, drop the cool act. It’s father-and-son bonding time.”
Dougao buried his head into Lu Xi’s chest, while Doubao peeked out from the side, his chubby face curious: “What’s a facial mask?”
Looking at their identical little faces, Lu Xi tilted his head 45 degrees dramatically, setting the mood just right so both of them gazed at him eagerly. Only then did he slowly begin:
“You were both just one year and two months old. Still just two little dumplings…”
Before the two buns were one year old, Lu Xi was bored and watched movies when he had nothing to do. Later, he became interested and attended classes at the London Film Academy. This school is only open to graduate students. Lu Xi returned to China at the age of 18 to participate in a talent show, and did not finish college.
The reason he was able to attend the class was because of his friend, but the college would not issue him a certificate.
One evening, a renowned director gave a lecture. It ran late. Lu Xi called home and his elder brother said that the two of them had drunk milk and fell asleep. By the time Lu Xi got home, it was past 9 PM.
“Did Daddy find anything when he got home? Were we good boys?” Doubao asked with his sweetest ‘I’m a little angel’ look.
Lu Xi pinched Doubao’s cheeks: “You had your face buried in Dougao’s back. Dougao’s face was still wet with tears. Your little fists were shaking. When I pulled you two apart, there was a crying face-shaped mask print on Dougao’s pajama back.”
“Hold on, I’ll show you what a facial mask is.”
Daddy Lu, the mimic master, pulled one out of the drawer, unwrapped it, and laid it out in front of Doubao.
“See? Back then, you printed this right onto Dougao. Two eyes, one mouth, two tiny round nostrils.” It was heartbreaking back then, but looking back now– hahaha, cold-hearted Daddy Lu found it hilarious.
Doubao stared at the mask sheet, gasped dramatically, and flopped over onto the couch playing dead.
After the story, Doubao’s face was bright red. Daddy had to coax him for a long while before he finally carried his little backpack, holding Dougao’s hand as they headed to kindergarten, muttering under his breath:
“I forgot… one-year-old Doubao isn’t me anymore.”
“Doubao would never be that ugly.”
“My crying face is still adorable.”
Dougao: “Gege is the cutest.”
“And didi is also the cutest.” Doubao returned the praise in rainbow-colored flattery.
After dropping them off at kindergarten, Lu Xi headed straight to the train station.
Ever since that “facial mask crying” incident, Lu Xi’s nightlife consisted of tucking in the kids and scrolling on his phone.
He, the father, was great!
—
Before taping Actor, the staff went over the show’s structure.
They had brought in a mix of celebrities: some young, some older ones who have faded into obscurity, some real actors, and some idol-turned-actors.
Today’s taping involved two parts:
1. Based on market value, the 31 contestants would be ranked into A, B, C, and D tiers. A being the top, the most promising in the industry.
2. Based on their rankings, the contestants would take turns picking films or TV shows for their competition scenes. A-tier will pick first; D-tier will get the leftovers.
The mentors sat onstage, watching contestants via live feed.
Contestants were called one by one to draw their ranking cards. Lu Xi was the last.
Inside a stark white room, a rack of cards sat before him.
Lu Xi took it, opened it, and saw D without surprise.
Onstage, four mentor chairs.
“I don’t know this person very well, does Director Yuan know him?” Zhou Xin cued the director with a smile.
The two have a good personal relationship. Zhou Xin has won the Best Actress Award and has also guest-starred in Yuan Tang’s works.
Yuan Tang is over 50 years old. He is very easy-going when he is not filming. He said, “I don’t know his face, but he looks quite handsome. Didn’t they say that a boy band will come to participate? Is it him?”
“Director Yuan, you may not know this. This is Lu Xi, an idol from four or five years ago. He retired from the circle because of some bad rumors.” Zhao Ziyang answered in a hurry, speaking bluntly, and his dislike for Lu Xi was expressed on his face.
Yuan Tang did not respond. He has been in the circle for so many years. The media dares to say anything, catching wind and shadows, adding fuel to the fire, and exaggerating the facts. He does not believe these evaluations from other people, and only believes in a person’s acting skills.
“Director Zhao, are you really basing your opinion on tabloid rumors?” a male voice gently interjected, the tone half-joking. “We’re here for the acting. Spreading unconfirmed stories is just slander.”
A soft but solid jab.
Zhou Xin chuckled. “He’s right. We’re here to judge actors.”
The industry was full of complicated power plays. Zhao Ziyang is just a rich second generation. Other small stars without foundation dare not say a word when Zhao Ziyang speaks, but Zhou Xin has such qualifications, why should she be afraid of Zhao Ziyang?
She doesn’t rely on Zhao Ziyang for a living.
Zhao Ziyang was criticized, and said sarcastically: “This is mutual respect. We are colleagues who are both idols.”
The spat onstage didn’t reach backstage.
The contestants, holding their ranking cards, walked through the red carpet into the waiting area.
A-tier sat at the center on a raised platform. B and C were two steps down on each side. D-tier got rickety wooden stools by the entrance with no backrests.
Lu Xi: …The path to dreams is full of obstacles. Jiayou, Daddy Lu, you got this!
The host appeared on the stage and began to introduce the program mentors.
Each time a mentor was named, the waiting room erupted in cheers, fanservice, and people trying to steal screen time.
“Whoa, it’s Teacher Zhou Xin, I love her!”
“Director Yuan! My parents are obsessed with his movies, and now I’ve seen him in person!”
“Oh it’s Director Zhao! I cried like a fool after watching his Youth Isn’t Sad.”
The room echoed with 3D surround-sound flattery. Lu Xi didn’t even blink. Sure, Zhou Xin and Director Yuan were legit, but the one sucking up to Zhao Ziyang? Lu Xi couldn’t resist turning to see who the brave soul was.
An A-tier.
Tsk. So young and already cursed with bad taste. Tragic.
Youth Isn’t Sad was the highest-grossing work written and directed by Zhao Ziyang.
The plot: high school girl cheats on a test, gets caught, cue: rooftop scenes, shouting, and flirting. After the college entrance exam, the girl’s friends visit the school at night, then they had sex, and finally had an abortion. They broke up, and each of them gets on the train to the university.
Lu Xi watched it and thought: total nonsense.
“And finally, our mystery mentor — Jian Huai!”
The host stretched it out for maximum suspense.
Another wave of fan-crazed screams.
“OMG it’s Jian-laoshi! I adore his work!”
“Ahhh finally seeing my idol in person!”
“He’s so handsome. I wish I could star in a film with him.”
The big screen camera gave Jian Huai a close-up. Unlike the last encounter in the elevator, Jian Huai today is wearing makeup, a nice shirt, and a gentle smile at the camera.
Lu Xi: …Damn, Lao Jian’s gotten flirty.
Knows how to charm the camera now.
He used to get shy when I taught him this stuff.
—
Film selection began.
From his A-tier perch, Zhao Yu’s gaze swept toward the D-tier area. He didn’t expect Lu Xi to be on this show.
He used to imitate Lu Xi, watching him shine on stage. Now they were leagues apart: A vs. D. The industry had left Lu Xi behind.
Seize this opportunity, Zhao Yu encouraged himself. He would choose first, and there would be a lot of room for selection.
Lu Xi was the last to pick– left with scraps. What was there left? Doubao’s butt?
Only one role remained: a murderer.
Chasing dreams was never easy. Jiayou, Little Sunflower Lu, you can do this!
By the time taping ended, it was past 3 PM. Lu Xi hadn’t even had lunch.
Of the 31 contestants, only he and one young woman used the public dressing room. The rest had assistants and rode their nanny vans straight back to their hotels. The girl finished removing her makeup and quietly left.
Jian Huai entered to find Lu Xi scrubbing his face with makeup wipes like a brute.
“That’s bad for your skin. Don’t you have a makeup artist to help you remove it?”
“Eh.” Lu Xi jumped at the voice, turned, and saw Jian Huai. “I’m in a rush, just wiping it off quickly.”
Jian Huai smiled gently, “Do you want to have dinner? I haven’t seen you for more than four years. I want to invite you to have dinner and chat.”
“Can’t, I’m picking up my son from school. Let’s have dinner next time.”
Lao Jian wants to invite him to dinner to reminisce about the past, so he doesn’t think he’s a mess and wants to avoid him.
Pick up his son?
The smile on Jian Huai’s face froze for a second, then resumed as Lu Xi looked at him. “I can drive you. Did you come by car? It’s hard to get a cab around here.”
“Oh, sure, thanks. I’ll treat you to dinner next time,” Lu Xi said as he pulled on a baseball cap. “Just drop me at the high-speed train station.”
“Back to Jinjiang? I’m going too, actually. Saves us both a headache. I’m signed on as mentor for the full three days, no other schedule.” Very smooth excuse.
Lu Xi paused, looking him up and down.
Jian Huai’s heart thumped.
“What is it?”
“You’re still the same… always thinking about others.”
You’re not ‘others’. Jian Huai thought, but only smiled and said, “Let’s go. Driving takes two hours.”
—
The author has something to say:
If the gong doesn’t show up soon, Doubao and Dougao are gonna start calling someone else Daddy. 【Green hat loading…
Lu Xixi: Today is another day of striving for my dreams!
—
![When the Sand Sculpture Protagonist Enters the World of Crematorium [Quick Transmigration]](https://www.freenovels.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/photo_2023-12-20_21-58-42.jpg "When the Sand Sculpture Protagonist Enters the World of Crematorium [Quick Transmigration]")
Kinda hoping for a different ML to be honest, sigh, if he’s still ML I guess the author’s gonna whitewash him, I hope at least there’d be crematorium that he had to fight for and be desperate a bit. That pretentiousness bothers me, being lived doesn’t mean he can be dismissive especially if he’s not unmoved.