Meng Ying was staunchly heterosexual, firmly believing that gay girls were a rarity in the world. She was just unlucky enough to have met the one-in-ten-thousand exception—Zhou Er. Therefore, she never connected the relationship between Song Yushi and Qi Ke to romance.
Even though the entire hundred-plus-page commemorative album was filled with memories of the lead singer and the captain, it only made her teary-eyed. “Their friendship is so touching!”
Song Yushi: “…” No matter what, she had to keep smiling.
Then she lowered her head and continued to flip through the history of Qi Ke’s life. From a small, round child, she had grown into a little girl with pigtails. Her features had matured, but her brilliant smile and dimples remained unchanged.
The lead singer, born to face the sun.
She turned another page, and a thin piece of paper fluttered down onto the tatami mat.
“What’s this?” Meng Ying moved quickly, reaching out to pick it up. She read the words on it one by one: “A depression diagnosis report?”
Song Yushi’s heart sank.
“Ah—” Meng Ying realized. “It’s Qi Ke’s.”
As if in a dream, Song Yushi took the thin diagnosis report from Meng Ying’s hand. She tried hard to see the words clearly, but her hand trembled uncontrollably, and the densely packed words blurred before her eyes.
She heard herself ask, “…You knew?”
“Yeah. I knew.” Meng Ying rested her chin on her hand and recalled, “It was around the time we graduated from the girl group. You were away filming, so you didn’t know. I didn’t know at the time either, but I was free, so I’d often go hang out with them. But Chengzhi and Zhong Yi were both busy, and even Qi Ke, who loved to have fun the most, wouldn’t come out.”
“Later, I found out she’d had a falling out with her family. After a failed attempt to run away, she just locked herself in her room. In the end, she bottled it all up and got sick. Not just depression, but anxiety too. She couldn’t sleep night after night and was losing her hair. It took a full six months before she started to get better.”
Song Yushi’s fingertips tightened around the diagnosis report, her knuckles turning white. She spoke with difficulty, “So… in those six months, she only released one song?”
Meng Ying nodded. “Yes, that song, 《Night Rain Sent North》.”
“…Let me listen to it.”
“What?”
Song Yushi placed the diagnosis report on the table, suppressing the tremble in her voice. “Do you have it on your phone? Let me listen.”
“I do.” Meng Ying asked as she opened her music player, “You’ve never heard it?”
Song Yushi had never heard it.
Ever since breaking up with Qi Ke, she had been like a scar on Song Yushi’s heart—something she didn’t dare to look at, listen to, or touch. Later, she only heard news about her occasionally from others.
“Teacher Qi released an album, and it’s a huge hit!”
“Teacher Qi’s song won an award, Best Golden Melody of the Year, a very prestigious one.”
“Teacher Qi’s MV is amazing; I can smell the money.”
“Teacher Qi and xxx are such a good match! Could they be secretly dating?”
“Teacher Qi sang for a drama OST. Her divine voice is so moving.”
Things like this were all proof that Qi Ke was doing very well.
But no one had ever told Song Yushi that Qi Ke—who was always as lively and smiling as a little sun—would suffer from depression and anxiety, would lie awake night after night, would… have had suicidal thoughts.
The notes slid by like flowing water, lightly cutting through the air and reaching her ears.
Immediately after, Qi Ke’s voice followed.
《Night Rain Sent North》 was a traditional-style song with lyrics adapted from Li Shangyin’s ancient poem of the same name. The entire song was like a long letter about longing, sent by a wild goose but never reaching the hands of its intended recipient.
And the last line of the song was: “But speak of Ba Mountain—”
It stopped abruptly, leaving only an empty silence.
Not a single line in the song completed the ancient poem, but every line was singing, “But speak of Ba Mountain in the night rain.”
Yushi, Yushi.
“Plop.”
A scalding tear fell from her eye, wetting the diagnosis report and smudging the thin paper. Every word on it stung her, yet every word was also proof.
Qi Ke loved her.
It was never just for fun, never casting a wide net, and never out of a desire for novelty.
Qi Ke had always loved her wholeheartedly, earnestly, fervently, and devoutly.
Meng Ying, who had been lost in Qi Ke’s divine voice, was startled to see Song Yushi crying. She quickly pulled out a tissue and handed it to her. “Captain? Captain, why are you crying?”
Song Yushi shook her head and held out her hand. “Let me borrow your phone.”
Meng Ying quickly handed the phone over.
Song Yushi dialed a number, listening to the dial tone as she opened the study door. She stood by the third-floor railing, looking at the photo of Qi Ke on the fireplace in the living room below. Her gaze was gentle and lingering, one glance after another, etching the image into her bones and blood.
“Hello?” The call finally connected. Qi Ke’s voice, overlapping with the one from the music player, was just as gentle and affectionate. “Meng Ying? Are you at my place? Has the Captain eaten? How is she doing? Why aren’t you talking? If she’s in a bad mood, tell her some bad jokes. Don’t tell the ones Zhong Yi told… Hello? Hello?”
“I don’t like bad jokes,” Song Yushi said, her voice hoarse.
Qi Ke froze for a moment, then murmured, “Captain…”
“Mm.”
“Do you miss me?”
“…”
“Then have you been eating well? How are you doing? Are you in a good mood?”
“…”
Song Yushi didn’t speak, just silently shed tears amidst these tender inquiries. It was as if Qi Ke could hear her, as her tone suddenly grew frantic. “Are you crying, Captain?”
“…”
“Captain, don’t worry. Rest assured, I’ll handle this. Wait for me, okay?”
“…Okay.”
After a long moment, Song Yushi spoke.
The next day, Song Yushi was picked up by Sister Ming. Even though the online matter was mostly resolved, her not making an appearance would make the fans worry.
So at nine o’clock that morning, Song Yushi made a high-profile appearance in front of the Mangosteen Entertainment building.
The media and fans, who had already received the news, crowded around. Camera flashes went off nonstop as reporters surged forward to ask questions, each one sharper than the last. The bodyguards held them back, but Song Yushi suddenly stopped.
She took off her sunglasses, looked at the camera, and her thin lips parted slightly. “Excuse me, could you repeat the question you just asked?”
The reporter seized the opportunity and immediately repeated, “Your adoptive parents are addicted to gambling. Is it possible this is related to you not helping them when they asked for money on the verge of bankruptcy? If you had given them money then, they might have been able to make a comeback.”
Song Yushi nodded slowly and asked in a deliberate tone, “Where do you work?”
The reporter was taken aback for a moment, then said, “Chenxing Entertainment.”
“How about this.” Song Yushi’s voice spread through the microphones, her calm tone strangely comforting, her enunciation clear. “I’ll give you a contact.”
The reporter asked, “What?”
Song Yushi said earnestly, “Your talent is wasted here. Story Magazine would be a better fit for you.”
The reporter, realizing her meaning, became angry out of embarrassment. “You—!!!”
Song Yushi gave a slight nod, put her sunglasses back on, and continued walking forward, ignoring the reporter.
Meanwhile, this scene had already been broadcast online via a busybody’s live stream, immediately sparking public outrage.
【What kind of idiot is this? Stop embarrassing all reporters, okay? @Chenxing Entertainment, your employee is spreading rumors right in front of the person involved, and you’re not going to do anything? Have you no shame, all for the sake of KPIs?】
【The only reason you could become a reporter is because the boss who hired you had water in their brain, right?】
【I’m so mad, so mad! My baby has been so well-protected, what right do you have to run up to her and spout such nonsense? And what fucking bullshit is it? @Song Yushi Studio, you useless trash, stop pushing her out to take the fall, okay?】
【I advise this idiot reporter not to go to Story Magazine either. Just go get remade in a furnace!】
In the studio, after watching the video, Qi Ke, who had been about to log into her side account to passionately join the online fray, silently put down her keyboard. She took a sip of coffee and sighed faintly. Her vocabulary was too limited; she was unworthy of charging into battle for her little captain.
Just as she was feeling melancholic, Song Yushi seemed to step right out of the video. The studio door opened, and a chorus of greetings erupted.
“Morning, Boss.”
“Boss, you were so cool just now!”
“Boss, you look so beautiful today!”
“Boss, I wasn’t late today!”
“Boss, I missed you so much!”
Qi Ke: “…”
Were these the colleagues who had fought alongside her for the past two days? These were love rivals!!!
Song Yushi had long since taken off the sunglasses Sister Ming had given her to appear aloof. She greeted her colleagues one by one, finally stopping in front of Qi Ke.
Qi Ke smiled brilliantly, her dimples appearing faintly. “Morning, Captain.”
Song Yushi wanted to say so many things, but under everyone’s watchful eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to say them. The words that came to her lips turned into something trivial. “You… are you leaving?”
Qi Ke shrugged. “If I don’t leave soon, my producer might fly back from New York to kill me.”
Song Yushi smiled. “Come back soon.”
Qi Ke: “Wait for me?”
Song Yushi: “I’ll wait for you.”
Only after she said it did she realize the air had suddenly gone quiet. Feeling a bit awkward, she turned around. Her colleagues, who had been watching, immediately looked away, chatting and laughing animatedly.
“Haha, the weather is so nice today!”
“I think so too, ha, the moon is so round, hahaha!”
“How have you been lately?”
“I’m great, how about you? Your nails look so pretty!”
“Pretty ladies should just focus on their careers!”
Qi Ke: “…”
A toxic solo stan let it slip, hey!
At two in the morning, Song Yushi posted on her personal account. It was very short, just four words: A clear conscience.
As soon as the post was published, it immediately received over ten thousand comments and trended on the hot search list.
Song Yushi lay in bed with only a single table lamp on. By its faint light, she scrolled through the comments and private messages from her fans.
【Baby, I only believe in you.】
【Sob, sob, sob, baby, you had it so hard before. Mama will always love you!】
【Spreading a rumor takes but a word, refuting it can break your legs. Rumor-mongers have no heart.】
【Go to sleep early. Wait for me in bed.】
Uh, it seemed something out of place had slipped in.
It was Qi Ke’s side account.
Because she was secretly following the account, the message wasn’t in her request folder, making it particularly conspicuous. The message had arrived twenty seconds ago. Song Yushi opened the chat box, only to discover this wasn’t the first private message Qi Ke had sent her.
Scrolling up, she saw a message from the end of last year.
【It’s raining in Yunzhou City. What about where you are?】
Last September.
【I just had a dream. I dreamt we were still in the group, and you were sitting next to me, wearing glasses and reading a book. So gentle and beautiful. I miss you so much!】
Last June.
【You never check Weibo anyway, so I can say whatever I want, right? When I stop liking you, I’ll log into your account and delete all these messages. You haven’t changed your password, have you?】
Last February.
【It’s snowing again. I want to have a snowball fight. I want to kiss you in the snow.】
Christmas, the year before last.
【I played Santa Claus at the concert today. Do you have any wishes? You can tell me.】
Qixi Festival, the year before last.
【I still like you.】
These private messages spanned a long period of time, having traveled a long road before finally reaching her.
Her heart and eyes grew sore. Song Yushi opened the keyboard and replied to these long-held feelings, one by one.
【It rained where I was, too.】
【I miss you too.】
【I won’t change the password.】
【I want to be kissed by you in the snow.】
【My wish is for Qi Ke to be safe and happy, forever beautiful, and to love me forever.】
【I like you too.】
【When you come back, let’s get back together.】
Why wait for updates? Get all chapters now and read the entire story on your schedule.
