His thoughts drifted until he didn’t even know when he fell asleep. When he opened his eyes again, it was already ten in the morning.
The sun had risen fully, pouring bright light into the room. Half-asleep, Xia Xinghe faintly remembered Bai Qingzhou coming back to bed later to hold him, but he had been too tired, only humming drowsily in response. Now awake, he found the space beside him empty, the pillow cold. Bai Qingzhou had clearly left long ago.
He was always this busy, even back in their school days. Xia Xinghe had lived through it before.
It almost felt like they had returned to that old pattern: Bai Qingzhou busy, while he clung to him from behind, chasing and chasing, yet never quite catching up.
Something about it didn’t feel right. Xia Xinghe faintly sensed there was a problem with the way they were relating, but he couldn’t say exactly what. After all, both of his only two romances had been with the same person, and the first had ended in painful failure.
Recalling their unpleasant breakup, Xia Xinghe still felt lingering fear. Even now, he couldn’t understand why back then Bai Qingzhou had been so heartless, showing no concern at all for the fact that he was about to go abroad.
But four years had already passed, and they were back together. Xia Xinghe could only swallow down that little bit of grievance in his heart.
At least this time, he knew Bai Qingzhou truly loved him.
So, this time, it should be different from last time… right?
By eleven o’clock, the sunlight was already scorching and dazzling. Xia Xinghe decided not to stay in bed any longer, changed clothes, and walked out of the bedroom.
Bamboo had long been waiting at the bedroom door. The moment it heard Xia Xinghe’s footsteps, it barked excitedly and pounced on him. Xia Xinghe’s body was still sore and heavy, and he nearly got knocked over. Bamboo wagged its tail cluelessly, looking so cheerful that it was impossible to be angry. Xia Xinghe could only helplessly rub its head and go pour some dog food.
Maybe from watching it too much, recently Bamboo had grown even clingier to Xia Xinghe. Whenever it had time, it would stick close to him, even deliberately imitating Bai Qingzhou’s gestures, as if competing for affection, often casting smug glances at Bai Qingzhou.
Once, Bai Qingzhou was displeased and said coldly, “You’re getting more and more out of line.”
Xia Xinghe was amused by his expression and said, “He learned it from you.”
“You’ve spoiled him too much,” Bai Qingzhou replied.
Xia Xinghe pouted. “He’s obviously your dog son!”
Bai Qingzhou frowned and said nothing, but that night, he pressed Xia Xinghe down and “bullied” him hard. In the end, Xia Xinghe’s legs were so sore he couldn’t lift them. Bai Qingzhou, still looking self-righteous, said, “Don’t you like your dog son? Then let’s make another one.”
This man really couldn’t stand losing. If he couldn’t win with words, he’d always find another way to get back at him.
Thinking of the sweetness between them, the faint gloom in Xia Xinghe’s heart vanished without him realizing. With Bai Qingzhou away, Bamboo remained just as affectionate, so Xia Xinghe played with it for quite a while. Seeing it was nearly twelve, he sent Bai Qingzhou a message saying he was leaving, then took the subway home.
…..
After a bumpy ride, Xia Xinghe got home exactly at one in the afternoon.
It was the hottest time of the year, and just riding the subway made his clothes stick to his skin, feeling unbearably uncomfortable. He set his things down and took a shower. By the time he came out, Bai Qingzhou had replied.
Just one word: [Okay.]
Who was that fierce person from last night, then?
Xia Xinghe chuckled, knowing Bai Qingzhou’s usual cold manner, so he didn’t reply further. He dried his hair and sat down at his desk.
Yesterday’s phone call from Qiu Guiyue had moved him, but also added some pressure. After all, Liaohu was a big city, and it wasn’t easy to bring them over to live.
Since he started writing, Xia Xinghe had never been short on money. His savings were decent, and he spent generously. He disliked the feeling of renting, always finding it faintly like living under someone else’s roof, so he had directly bought a place in full. But even at his level, buying a house suitable for his parents to live in wasn’t easy.
Pressure turned into motivation, and Xia Xinghe immediately began preparing a new novel.
The process of creating something from nothing was the hardest. Each new work was a brand-new beginning. Over the next few days, Xia Xinghe sat at his desk daily, organizing ideas, researching, taking notes, sorting his thoughts, and preparing outlines—days that could only be described as utterly exhausting.
After muddling through a week, he finally finished the outline.
The new story was another completely different genre, and Xia Xinghe felt uncertain. He sent the outline to Yanmai for review, and after some thought, also messaged Bai Qingzhou.
[Little Bamboo: Dr. Bai?]
[Little Bamboo: Are you free tonight?]
[Bai: ?]
[Little Bamboo: I wrote a new outline. Could you look it over? Just tell me your most direct impression.]
[Bai: After 8 tonight.]
[Bai: Got something during the day.]
Bai Qingzhou seemed very busy lately. While Xia Xinghe was occupied with his writing, Bai hardly came home, always tied up with something unknown.
Xia Xinghe pursed his lips and replied with an [Okay.]
….
Eight o’clock in the evening.
Xia Xinghe arrived at Bai Qingzhou’s place on time.
The dim room was unlit—Bai Qingzhou hadn’t come back yet.
Wasn’t that day supposed to be his day off? Why was he still so busy?
The thought flashed by. Sitting on the sofa, Xia Xinghe played with Bamboo for a long while before Bai Qingzhou finally arrived, sweat glistening at his temples.
“Sorry, I’m late.”
Entering, he casually unbuttoned two buttons of his shirt, revealing a smooth, firm chest. His eyes held a trace of fatigue.
Xia Xinghe was startled and asked, “Weren’t you off today?”
Bai Qingzhou tugged at his collar. “Something came up. I swapped shifts with a colleague.”
Xia Xinghe’s lips moved. He instinctively wanted to ask what it was, if he needed help, but halfway through he stopped.
It felt too much like prying, and he didn’t know how to phrase it.
In that brief hesitation, Bai Qingzhou spoke: “Weren’t you going to show me the outline?”
“Oh… right.” Xia Xinghe remembered and quickly pushed aside his little worries. He pulled out the printed outline from his bag, smoothed it out, and handed it over. “Here it is. I just finished it this week. I want you to take a look.”
“Okay.”
Bai Qingzhou nodded slightly and began reading carefully. Within two minutes, his brows furrowed.
“Do you have a pen?” he asked.
Xia Xinghe hurriedly handed one over. Bai Qingzhou pushed up his glasses with one hand. “Look here.”
“And here.”
“And here too.”
Bai Qingzhou’s sternness and exacting nature were no joke. Xia Xinghe had already prepared himself mentally before handing it over, but even so, Bai Qingzhou’s serious air made him sit up straighter, nervous under his gaze.
Bai Qingzhou didn’t know much about writing techniques, but he possessed extraordinary insight and judgment. Aside from pointing out logical details, he could always give his most direct feelings—sharp and to the point.
At first, Xia Xinghe felt a little unconvinced, thinking he was an outsider who didn’t understand. But in the end, he couldn’t argue back, and instead, he was persuaded, staring eagerly as he listened, impressed by Bai Qingzhou’s strict logic and keen judgment.
Before they knew it, three hours had passed. Bai Qingzhou had gone through the entire outline with him. When he finally looked up, it was already eleven at night.
“That’s about it. You can go back and think more on it.”
Bai Qingzhou handed the outline, now covered in markings, back to Xia Xinghe, and rubbed his brow with some weariness. “Overall, the story is passable.”
The night was deep, softening Bai Qingzhou’s voice. Outside, faint noises of people could still be heard, but inside the room it was quiet. The warm yellow light fell across his sharp features, and somehow, it reminded Xia Xinghe of their university days.
Back then, it was the same—Bai Qingzhou often helped him with papers.
He would point out countless small mistakes, scolding him harshly and without mercy, but would also make time to sit with him, revising together and seeking the best solution.
When he was younger, Xia Xinghe didn’t understand. He only felt that this man was too fierce, and whenever he was criticized, it felt like he was useless. But now, after maturing and being worn down by reality, he realized how rare it was to have someone willing to help you nitpick every detail.
The atmosphere at this moment was gentle, softening Xia Xinghe’s heart. He took the outline back, but couldn’t help leaning forward and planting a quick kiss on Bai Qingzhou’s cheek. “You’re amazing. How do you know everything?”
Xia Xinghe’s smile was bright. Bai Qingzhou’s Adam’s apple bobbed slightly. He lowered his gaze lightly and said, as if it didn’t matter, “Just so-so.” Then he pulled Xia Xinghe into his arms and deepened the kiss. “It means you have good taste.”
The kiss trailed from lips to collarbone, tender at first, then growing heated, leaving Xia Xinghe breathing a little unevenly.
They had always been in sync in this regard, having adjusted bit by bit when they once lived together. Even after four years apart, their bodies still remembered each other’s responses.
It was late. Bamboo had already curled up in its nest, fast asleep. Only the two of them remained in the study, bathed in tranquil moonlight, the atmosphere just right. Xia Xinghe’s throat was dry; tilting his head up to kiss Bai Qingzhou’s collarbone, he panted softly and asked, “Do you want to do it?”
Bai Qingzhou chuckled lowly, his warm breath brushing against Xia Xinghe’s face. “Do you want it?”
Xia Xinghe bit at his throat, blushing as he glanced up at him. “Don’t you?”
“Mm…” Bai Qingzhou deliberately paused before adding, “Not tonight.”
“Not tonight?”
Xia Xinghe reflexively repeated.
His hand had just been about to undo Bai Qingzhou’s buttons, but at those words, it froze midair, then slowly pulled back.
“Next time.”
Bai Qingzhou kissed the corner of his lips, tidied his rumpled clothes, and said, “I have to go back to the hospital.”
“Now?”
Xia Xinghe glanced at the clock—it was already eleven. His brows furrowed slightly. “You seem really busy lately?”
“It’s fine.”
As he spoke, Bai Qingzhou was already on his feet, calmly buttoning his shirt. It was as if the man who had just been kissing and teasing wasn’t him, and he had returned to his usual composed self.
“Stay here tonight,” Bai Qingzhou said. “It’s late. Going back wouldn’t be safe.”
Xia Xinghe parted his lips, wanting to say more, but seeing Bai Qingzhou already putting on his coat from the rack, he only nodded slightly and walked him to the door.
“I’m leaving.”
Bai Qingzhou bent down to kiss Xia Xinghe’s cheek before his tall figure quickly disappeared into the night. Standing under the eaves, Xia Xinghe watched his retreating back for a long time before finally lowering his head and returning inside.
With one less person, the spacious house instantly felt cold. After washing up, Xia Xinghe lay in bed. The faint trace of Bai Qingzhou’s scent still lingered in his nose. Hugging his knees, resting his head on them, he found himself unable to sleep.