WHIF- Chapter 16

Ch. 16 Cultivate Feelings

    “Oh right, how was the playlist that I gave you? Did you play it when it was just the two of you?” Cao Zhimian nudged Yang Chaosheng, who was lost in thought with a slight smile. “Did you feel any sparks flying?”

    Yang Chaosheng snapped out of his thoughts. “…Not really, but he did ask if I was in a good mood.”

    Cao Zhimian whispered a triumphant ‘yes’ and lightly tapped his fist against Yang Chaosheng’s chest. “He’s paying attention to your mood now, that means he’s been watching you closely. If he’s paying attention, it means he cares. And if he cares, he might just be catching feelings.”

    Yang Chaosheng had never been in a relationship, but he wasn’t totally clueless, Cao Zhimian was obviously talking nonsense.

    Ignoring his self-proclaimed love guru friend, Yang Chaosheng waved him off with a “see you,” and walked a few steps over to Ji Xiang, who seemed to be studying a money tree by the entrance.

    “What are you looking at?”

    Ji Xiang gently pinched a green leaf, looking a little regretful. “You might need to move your money tree. It has some sunspots, money trees shouldn’t be exposed to direct sunlight.”

    “Sorry… I haven’t really been taking care of it,” Yang Chaosheng said as he pulled the plant inwards to block the sunlight. “I’ll move it somewhere better tomorrow.”

    He looked like a student getting scolded for a failing an assignment. Ji Xiang found his serious explanation amusing, though he kept a stern face as he teased, “Why are you apologizing to me? You should be apologizing to the plant.”

    Recalling Ji Xiang’s talk about being responsible when raising a cat, Yang Chaosheng assumed he was genuinely upset about the neglected plant.

    Touching the leaf Ji Xiang had held, Yang Chaosheng earnestly said, “I’m sorry. I’ll take better care of you…”

    Seeing him really do as he said, Ji Xiang couldn’t help but laugh. When Yang Chaosheng looked over, Ji Xiang’s eyes were full of mirth. “Yang Chaosheng, you’re kind of a goof.”

    Yang Chaosheng didn’t get it.

    Looking back, he really was a goof, because he didn’t know how to get closer to Ji Xiang.

    “You and Cao… Mr. Cao, are you done talking?” Ji Xiang asked, trying to recall the name.

    “Yeah, we’re done. Let me take you home.”

    Seeing that he couldn’t remember Cao Zimian’s name, Yang Chaosheng remembered their self-introductions back at the café. He had been a bit disappointed that Ji Xiang hadn’t remembered his name. But now, realizing that he treated everyone the same, he didn’t mind it so much. Ji Xiang didn’t need to remember people who didn’t matter.

    “If you run into Cao Zhimian again, just ignore him. He talks nonsense,” Yang Chaosheng commented as they walked out together.

    “Nonsense? But he reminded me of some old stuff. Actually… should I be calling you senior?”

    “No need. Just call me Chaosheng.” Yang Chaosheng pressed his lips together, looking a little apologetic. “Back then… I’m sorry you got dragged into that mess.”

    He meant the time when Ji Xiang was caught and sent to the office, even though he didn’t smoke.

    “Huh? I thought you already apologized? Not that it was a big deal.” Ji Xiang paused, thinking. “Didn’t you?”

    Yang Chaosheng was surprised; he thought Ji Xiang had forgotten. “Yeah.”

    That day, after the Monday flag-raising, students scattered from the field. Yang Chaosheng was carrying test papers when he overheard a group of boys who had been caught smoking gossiping around Ji Xiang.

    “We got caught, fine. But you got dragged into this because of that guy. How can we take this lying down?”

    “Exactly. So, what if he’s a grade above? He is just the teachers’ lapdog, catching people without any reason.”

    “If he’d just minded his own business, none of this would’ve happened. Should we teach him a lesson, Ah Xiang?”

    Hearing this, Yang Chaosheng stopped. He then heard that familiar voice saying dissatisfiedly, “You getting caught was something you deserved. I was just unlucky. And reading that self-reflection was simply a pain in the ass. I almost couldn’t speak on stage, might as well have written it myself. If we’re talking about revenge, maybe I should punch you all first. You’re the real culprits.”

    The group chuckled and apologized, saying that they hadn’t coordinated well when coping the reflection, so all ended up writing the same chunk.

    Just then, the bell rang, so Yang Chaosheng headed upstairs, in their direction.

    He caught sight of the loudest boy, basketball in one hand, the other arm draped over Ji Xiang’s shoulders, coaxing him.

    “Stop making a scene. Don’t cause more trouble, otherwise you’ll get another 3,000-word punishment.” Ji Xiang warned. Then he saw Yang Chaosheng approaching and quickly looked away, as if he didn’t even know him.

    “Ji Xiang,” Yang Chaosheng called out solemnly.

    The group fell silent. Some girls nearby held hands and rushed downstairs for PE [mfn]Physical education class[/mfn], chattering about being late.

    Ji Xiang told his friends, “You guys go ahead.”

    Yang Chaosheng noticed the short-haired boy looking back suspiciously as he walked away.

    “About the misunderstanding… I’m sorry, I—”

    “Ji Xiang! Why are you still out here during class?!” came Teacher Xing’s booming voice from the stairs, cutting Yang Chaosheng off.

    Ji Xiang had already been scolded in last math class. So, he didn’t dare linger.

    “PE, sir! I’m heading there now!” he shouted, nodded at Yang Chaosheng, and ran off, as if he were escaping to another world.

    That unfinished sentence, and Ji Xiang’s ambiguous reaction, made Yang Chaosheng think maybe Ji Xiang didn’t want anything to do with him.

    “Let’s not dwell on old embarrassments. It’s just surprising that we ran into each other again. Who’d have thought ten years ago that we’d end up getting married?” Ji Xiang said, then teased, “You didn’t tell me before, were you scared I’d hold it against you?”

    “…A little.”

    But more than that, Yang Chaosheng had wanted their reunion to be perfect when they were both ready.

    “What’s wrong? Not getting in?” Ji Xiang paused at the car door, noticing Yang Chaosheng zoning out. “Is there something on my face?”

    “No.”

    Yang Chaosheng composed himself and got in. “By the way, about the wedding, what kind of ceremony do you want?”

    Ji Xiang fumbled with the seatbelt. “Anything’s fine. You decide.”

    Yang Chaosheng leaned over to help buckle him in. As the belt clicked, Ji Xiang sighed in relief, then noticed how close Yang Chaosheng was.

    Even with a scent blocker, trace amounts of pheromones could leak. And in that enclosed space, Ji Xiang could faintly smell something aquatic.

    “But… I don’t think we really need a wedding,” Ji Xiang said hesitantly. “It’s not a real marriage. A certificate and letting our families know should be enough.”

    Planning a full wedding without any kind of mutual love already sounded exhausting. Still, he asked, “What do you think?”

    Yang Chaosheng was caught off guard, a little hurt. But looking into Ji Xiang’s sincere eyes gave him unexpected courage.

    He remembered what Cao Zhimian said:

    “You’ve got the license. The guy’s almost yours. All that’s missing is love. They say love grows over time. Unless his heart is made of stone, how could he not fall for you if you treat him right?”

    He feared overstepping. But more than that, he feared missing the one chance they had.

    “Ji Xiang, what do you think of me?”

    After half a minute of silence, Yang Chaosheng asked, heart pounding.

    “What do you mean?” Ji Xiang was puzzled. “You’re a great guy, successful, reliable, sincere, and thoughtful in doing things. You’d be a great friend.”

    “But… what if I wanted to be your real partner?” Yang Chaosheng’s voice was slightly trembling. “I mean… after we’re married, if neither of us meets someone else, could we try living as a real couple? Let things grow naturally, no rush. Would that be okay?”

    Ji Xiang was speechless for a moment, with his lips slightly open, as if wanting to say something but not knowing what.

    “Sorry… That came out weird. I know we agreed to stay out of each other’s lives.” Yang Chaosheng looked away, not daring to look at Ji Xiang. “But if you never meet the right person, and we get along well… could we just stay like this?”

    Maybe, just maybe, someday Ji Xiang would fall for him.

    Life isn’t that long. Maybe with effort, he really could grow old with Ji Xiang.

    “I get it now,” Ji Xiang said quietly. “When we met during the blind date, you said you didn’t want to start over with someone new. And I’m not a stranger anymore, and we’re already heading towards marriage, so I’m the most convenient option right now, no?”

    Yang Chaosheng felt that Ji Xiang had completely twisted his words, but before he could explain, Ji Xiang nodded.

    “Okay. I think what you said makes sense. If feelings come, great. If not, we could just live like roommates.”