Su Zhiyan felt completely confused.
“Are you in a bad mood today?” he asked Shen Nianjing after they left the private room.
Shen Nianjing’s eyes darted around, avoiding his gaze. “No, I’m fine.”
Su Zhiyan watched his uncomfortable expression as his eyes wandered everywhere, thinking to himself that this person really had no idea he was terrible at lying.
He frowned and continued asking, “Then why are you acting so hostile? Who pissed you off?”
He was always like this. When he had conflicts or disagreements with family and friends, he had to find the reason and solve it quickly. Who would want to fight with their loved ones, especially letting it drag on overnight?
Then Shen Nianjing pretended nothing happened, glancing at the potted plants nearby. “No one pissed me off.”
Su Zhiyan thought, “…” Fine, fine, fine. So you won’t talk, huh?
Then he wouldn’t care anymore. Since Shen Nianjing said he wasn’t angry, he better stay not angry.
He wouldn’t ask again!
“Oh, okay then. I’m going back inside.”
Su Zhiyan turned around and pushed the door to enter the private room.
“…”
Shen Nianjing threw several angry punches at the air.
The frustration in his chest felt like it was about to burst like a balloon.
How could Su Zhiyan not care about him at all? Wasn’t he the person Su Zhiyan liked? Wasn’t Su Zhiyan pursuing him?
If that was the case, why wouldn’t he keep even a tiny bit of distance from other men?
Shen Nianjing turned to face the wall, pressing his forehead against the cold surface and closing his eyes.
His mind was a chaotic mess of emotions with no clear focus.
Seeing someone flirt with Su Zhiyan annoyed him. Seeing Su Zhiyan chat with others annoyed him even more.
Shen Nianjing’s heart felt like it was being eaten by ants whenever he thought about how Su Zhiyan had just stared at him with those big eyes, saying Qu Fangming only wanted to get to know him and be friends.
What the hell was going on?
That night when he got home, Shen Nianjing immediately rushed into his room, turned on his computer, and logged into the Red Bean Forum.
Red Bean Forum was currently the most active forum in the country, with many different active subcommunities.
He navigated to the “Relationships and Life” section, typed out a paragraph, and hit post.
He wrote about all the emotions he’d been experiencing lately and vaguely described their relationship, hoping to seek advice from the all-knowing netizens for help.
After posting, he added a supplement in the first comment.
[Plenty of Fish Every Year[mfn]年年有鱼 (nián nián yǒu yú) is a pun on the Chinese New Year phrase “年年有余” (“May you have abundance every year”). “鱼” means fish, but it sounds the same as “余” (surplus).[/mfn] (1L): I pay close attention to every move of a friend around me. I want to see him every day and watch him all the time. Is this normal? Is this possessiveness between friends?]
After a while, Shen Nianjing refreshed the post and quickly got replies.
[2L: What’s wrong with the original poster? Emotional disorder? Emotional cognition issues?]
Shen Nianjing read this comment and thought carefully about it. He even searched online for explanations of these two terms and decided he didn’t have either problem.
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (2L): Neither, but he does always say I’m sick.]
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (3L): I used to feel angry and scared when he criticized me, but now I feel kind of… happy? Why is that?]
After Shen Nianjing sent this, even he thought he was crazy.
What kind of masochistic behavior was this? This was just perverted.
Sure enough, as soon as this reply appeared, the post exploded. New replies refreshed every second, and the post jumped to become tonight’s [HOT] topic, appearing on the forum’s homepage.
Shen Nianjing controlled his mouse to read the replies one by one, frowning as he thought about each question people raised and seriously replied to them.
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (15L): No, we’re just ordinary friends, but someone said he should be pursuing me. I don’t agree though. I think he doesn’t care about me at all.]
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (34L): Why can’t friends have possessiveness? Nothing is absolute. Everything has a certain probability, it’s just a matter of how much.]
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (66L): My feelings toward him… are just very complicated. Sometimes when I see him, I feel both happy and upset. Am I going crazy?]
Then he saw a reply filled with red exclamation marks: “If he suddenly got into a relationship, how would you feel?”
His mouse suddenly stopped.
Shen Nianjing stared blankly at this line of text.
Get into… a relationship?
Su Zhiyan, getting into a relationship?
The air seemed to freeze. The temperature in mid-October wasn’t much better than the typhoon weather in July and August. It was suffocating.
Shen Nianjing opened the window and took a sharp breath, only then realizing he’d been unconsciously holding his breath.
Shen Nianjing: “…”
He slowly sat back down at his desk, his mind filled with the question that netizen had just asked.
If Su Zhiyan got into a relationship…
He thought about everyone who had talked to Su Zhiyan recently.
Which one of them was most likely?
Su Zhiyan didn’t like getting along with others and rarely made friends on his own. He always had that polite but aloof appearance with people he wasn’t familiar with, but once you got to know him, you’d realize—
He was a very cute person.
He loved math, was passionate about his studies, and took everything seriously.
He spoke straightforwardly without beating around the bush, and didn’t have complicated thoughts.
He was very picky about food, but always ate with satisfaction and happiness.
His room… was very cozy, with a faint pleasant scent that was just like the citrus soap fragrance on his body.
If Su Zhiyan got into a relationship, would that person… would the person who got to be with him know all these things?
They definitely would, and probably even more intimately, know even more about him.
Shen Nianjing’s hand trembled on the mouse.
He suddenly felt awful.
Even worse than when Su Zhiyan had ignored him outside the private room earlier.
The people in the thread saw that the original poster wasn’t replying anymore, so they all bumped the post to urge him to come out. Question marks appeared on the screen one after another, like physical swords stabbing at Shen Nianjing’s currently panicked heart.
He put his hands on the keyboard.
His heartbeat was racing, his breathing hot.
But… didn’t Su Zhiyan like him?
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (156L): I don’t know, but many people say he’s pursuing me, so how could he suddenly get into a relationship with someone else?]
As soon as this comment was posted, all the “?” in the thread unanimously changed to “…”
“?” Shen Nianjing was confused. “What does this mean?”
Someone in the thread broke formation to reply, “Bro, are you here asking for help or showing off your relationship?”
Shen Nianjing had a headache. He’d spent all this time explaining his problems and feelings, how could people still not understand what he meant?
He straightened his tone and replied seriously.
[Plenty of Fish Every Year (190L): I’m really asking for help. This is the first time I’ve encountered this kind of problem, and I can’t figure out what’s going on.]
[191L: You’re really asking for help? Okay then, let me tell you — you’re screwed, you’ve fallen in love!]
As soon as this comment appeared, everyone below started following suit.
[192L: You’re screwed, you’ve fallen into the sea of love!]
[193L: You’re screwed, you’ve fallen into the sea of love!]
[194L: You’re screwed, you’ve fallen into the sea of love!]
…
Shen Nianjing froze. Two seconds later, his mouse flew at a speed of one hundred meters per second to the other side of the bedroom — bang! It hit the wall.
–
Su Zhiyan felt that Shen Nianjing had been acting increasingly strange lately.
During their shared class that day, he bent down to get something. His backpack had been pushed pretty far back in the desk compartment by Wen Bei’s bag, so he had to bend down and stretch his head in for quite a while before he could reach it. By the time he lifted his head, he felt a bit hot.
He brushed his hair back to cool down a little, and when he lowered his hand, he saw Shen Nianjing staring at him intently.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, a bit confused.
Shen Nianjing quickly turned his head away and started frantically rubbing his face, even unzipping his jacket. “It’s a bit hot, haha.”
Su Zhiyan noticed the unusual redness on his cheeks but didn’t say anything.
Shen Nianjing glanced at him from the corner of his eye and quickly looked away again.
He felt a bit guilty.
Just now, when Su Zhiyan had bent down to reach for his backpack, his hoodie collar had shifted down with his movement, revealing his fair, deep collarbones and the faint outline of lean muscle.
He couldn’t help but keep staring, like some kind of pervert.
Shen Nianjing raised his hand to cover his face, feeling hot and flustered.
Su Zhiyan propped his chin on his left hand, listening to the lecture seriously, while his right hand habitually spun his pen. The black pen spun smoothly between his fingers without falling for a long time.
After the teacher finished covering the main points and moved on to the next topic, many students were already tired of studying. Some listened half-heartedly, while others started playing with their phones.
“Click.” Su Zhiyan caught the pen that almost fell onto the desk with his finger and sighed softly.
How long was Shen Nianjing going to keep staring at him?!
For ten minutes now, Shen Nianjing had been side-eyeing him, his eyes glued to his face like they were stuck with super glue. At first, he thought there was something on his face and even wiped it, but later realized there was nothing there.
Shen Nianjing was just staring at him for no reason!
Su Zhiyan endured it with a dark expression until class ended. When the bell rang, he finally couldn’t hold back anymore. “Why do you keep staring at me?”
His face was indeed handsome. After cutting his hair short, just casually brushing his bangs back revealed all his beautiful features. His eyes were clear and gentle, and even when he frowned and looked over, he still looked lively and youthful.
Shen Nianjing stared straight at Su Zhiyan for a while longer. Just when the latter was about to lose his patience and take action, he quickly put on his hood and buried his face on the desk.
Like a turtle hiding its head, blocking himself from view.
Shen Nianjing faced the desk, his voice muffled as it came out. “Nothing.”
After saying that, he suddenly stood up, grabbed his backpack, and rushed out of the classroom without looking back.
He ran so fast that not even his shadow could be seen.
Su Zhiyan: “…”
“What’s wrong with him now?” He turned to look at Wen Bei.
Wen Bei had just woken up and looked confused as he made an “ah” sound. “You mean Shen Nianjing? What happened to him?”
Seeing him like this, Su Zhiyan suddenly felt a headache coming on.
It seemed like there wasn’t a single normal person around him. What was going on?
Birds of a feather flock together[mfn]物以类聚 (wù yǐ lèi jù) – similar things come together (idiom); like draws like / Birds of a feather flock together.[/mfn]. Could it be that he wasn’t normal either?
Su Zhiyan began to deeply doubt himself.
Right, from the moment he started having nightmares at the beginning of the school year, he hadn’t been normal.
What normal person dreamed about doing… that with a stranger?
After walking out of the classroom and going downstairs with the crowd, Su Zhiyan organized the printed materials in his hand and found that one was missing.
He patted Wen Bei’s shoulder. “You go back first. I’m going to the printer on the first floor to print something.”
Wen Bei nodded. “Take your time then. Since class just ended, there are probably a lot of people at the printer.”
“It’s not exam week, so the queue will be quick. I’m going now.” Su Zhiyan went against the crowd towards the west wing.
As he expected, there weren’t many people at the printer, and soon it was his turn.
After getting his printout, Su Zhiyan casually flipped through it with his fingers.
The count was right.
He neatly put the materials into a file folder and was about to stuff it into his backpack when he saw someone coming out of the restroom ahead.
A dark blue hoodie jacket that looked very familiar.
Su Zhiyan focused his gaze and made eye contact with Shen Nianjing, who was looking at him with a confused expression.
“Ha.” He put away his backpack, thinking about all of Shen Nianjing’s strange behavior these past few days. “Are you having another episode?”
“Is it hereditary or congenital?”
Shen Nianjing stared at his opening and closing lips and said as if possessed, “Who knows? Could be an acquired condition too.”
Su Zhiyan: “…”
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