“Are we… dating?…”
Actually, even after a night of drinking with his brother and waking up with a hangover, Yan Jie’s mood hadn’t improved much.
It’s just that in his view, Jiang Nan’an was more important than his own emotions.
He gripped the steering wheel, swaying with the congested traffic of the morning rush hour. After parking, he strolled to Jiang Nan’an’s favorite breakfast shop to buy a custard bun.
Walking toward Jiang Nan’an’s home with the breakfast bag, Yan Jie was contemplating what attitude he should adopt when facing Jiang Nan’an.
Should he be cold to make him realize he was angry? Or should he continue to chat with him as if nothing had happened?
Forget it, he’s over thirty years old, not a child. He can’t use the cold shoulder treatment.
…But acting like nothing happened wouldn’t work either. Continuing to be cheerful would make him seem too cheap. He should at least let Jiang Nan’an know that he felt uncomfortable with what he said yesterday. Otherwise, if Jiang Nan’an doesn’t realize the problem, the situation will only worsen, and how much more hurt would he have to endure in the future?
He should have a good talk with him. At the very least, he should establish his status, shouldn’t he, Yan Xiaochun???
All the way, Yan Jie was thinking about how to properly discuss this with Jiang Nan’an, how to make him understand his feelings and why he was upset. He revised his opening speech several times in his mind and pondered for a while at the door before reaching out to touch the lock.
The facial recognition unlocked with a “click.”
Yan Jie pushed the door open and found the house quiet, with the curtains tightly drawn. The room was dim, suggesting that Jiang Nan’an was still asleep.
This was expected.
Yan Jie placed the breakfast on the counter in the entryway, changed his shoes, took off his coat, and walked toward Jiang Nan’an’s room to wake him up.
But to his surprise, when he entered, he found Jiang Nan’an’s room door open, the bed neat and clean, without a person in sight.
Where was he?
Where had he gone???
Yan Jie returned to the living room, casually picked up the remote to open the curtains, and was about to reach for his phone to call Jiang Nan’an when his gaze caught a figure lying on the living room sofa.
As the electric curtains slowly opened and the room gradually brightened, the shadow became increasingly clear.
Jiang Nan’an was curled up asleep on the sofa, still wearing yesterday’s loungewear, without even a blanket covering him.
On the coffee table was the Japanese food Yan Jie had ordered for him last night. He hadn’t eaten much; the remainder was still in the packaging.
What was going on? Why wasn’t he sleeping in his bed?
Yan Jie’s heart ached seeing him curled up like that.
“Teacher Jiang? Nan Nan?”
Yan Jie walked over, knelt beside the sofa, shook Jiang Nan’an’s shoulder, and touched his face:
“Wake up, baby, why are you sleeping here?”
Jiang Nan’an was awakened by his shaking, still a bit dazed when he opened his eyes.
He squinted, looked at Yan Jie, then glanced past the sofa backrest at the bright daylight outside, before slowly propping himself up to sit:
“You’re back…?”
Having just woken up, his voice carried a slightly muffled nasal tone:
“Are you leaving?”
“Leave? Go where?”
Yan Jie frowned, tugging at his wrinkled clothes:
“Why are you sleeping on the sofa?”
“Oh,”
Jiang Nan’an lowered his eyes and answered:
“Waiting for you to come back.”
“I…” Yan Jie choked up.
Yesterday when he left, he had only said he was going out for a bit, forgetting to tell Jiang Nan’an that he wouldn’t be coming back that night.
Thinking about how he had foolishly waited on the sofa all night, Yan Jie felt terrible:
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did, but you didn’t answer.”
“…”
Yan Jie quickly took out his phone to check.
One unread WeChat message at 11:30 PM, Jiang Nan’an asking if he was coming back.
One missed call at 2:17 AM from Jiang Nan’an.
His phone had been on silent. By 2 AM, he was already drinking heavily with Fat Fish, unable to distinguish one from five, and hadn’t noticed when the call came in. All morning his mind had been preoccupied, and he hadn’t had time to check his phone.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get it.”
Yan Jie’s heart was twisted with guilt:
“You waited so late, why didn’t you go to your room to sleep? Look how thinly you’re dressed, and not even a blanket over you. You didn’t catch a cold, did you? Are you feeling unwell anywhere?”
“No.” Jiang Nan’an sniffled, his tone flat:
“I had something I wanted to tell you when you came back. If I went to my room, I might have missed you.”
Yan Jie didn’t understand: “Why would you miss me?”
“You weren’t responding to messages or answering calls, and I didn’t know where you were staying… If you came back quietly and left quietly, I wouldn’t know how to find you.”
Only then did Yan Jie understand what Jiang Nan’an meant by his first question, “Are you leaving?”
Could it be that he thought Yan Jie had come back to pack his things and leave?
How could he be so…
Before opening the door, Yan Jie had still felt angry and wronged, but now after seeing Jiang Nan’an like this, those feelings had completely dissipated, leaving only heartache and self-reproach.
Yan Jie sighed and reached out to fix Jiang Nan’an’s messy hair:
“I’m not leaving. Where would I go? It was my fault. I was in a bad mood yesterday and couldn’t stand myself, so I ran off, leaving you alone here to worry. I’m sorry, baby. I won’t do this again. I’ll be clear with you about everything I do.”
“It’s okay.”
Jiang Nan’an gently pushed his hand away and found a hair clip beside the sofa, casually clipping his long hair at the back of his head:
“You were angry yesterday, weren’t you? What did I do to make you unhappy? Was it what I said to Hong-jie, or was it my response about your status that dissatisfied you… Many people have told me I don’t speak well. If you don’t like my way of expressing myself, I apologize.”
“…” Yan Jie sat down beside Jiang Nan’an, staring at him intently.
He couldn’t discern much from his expression and tone, but hearing these words, Yan Jie’s heart felt a moment of weightlessness.
What did this mean? What was he trying to say?
Did he feel he still couldn’t adapt to this kind of relationship, couldn’t get used to living with someone else, or did he find it exhausting to be with him, and therefore wanted to end this brief and absurd relationship?
Perhaps Yan Jie’s presumptuous attempt to teach him about emotions had been a joke from the beginning.
Or maybe he had never taken him seriously, and continuing to cling and try to keep him would only make things more awkward.
After a moment of silence between them, when Yan Jie spoke again, he shifted his gaze, his voice somewhat strained:
“…What do you want to say?”
The process of waiting for a verdict is always long and unbearable. He slowly curled his fingers.
“I want to say,”
Jiang Nan’an’s voice was a bit low. He paused, then looked up at him:
“I’m not good with words, and I don’t understand how to consider others’ feelings. So, if you feel that something I said made you uncomfortable, you can tell me directly, and I will change.”
Yan Jie was slightly taken aback.
“I thought about it all night last night, and I think I’ve guessed what’s bothering you. I can honestly tell you that if it weren’t for my next role involving emotional scenes that I don’t understand, I wouldn’t have accepted your feelings so quickly. But my willingness to accept you isn’t entirely because of that. More importantly, I’m genuinely curious about you as a person, and I’m curious about why, after meeting you, I occasionally experience feelings that even I don’t understand.”
Jiang Nan’an slowly described his thoughts to him.
His way of thinking had always been difficult for others to understand, but he tried his best to explain, hoping Yan Jie would understand:
“I was very serious about learning from you. You teach me what liking and loving are, and do things that only lovers can do with me. I accept, then gradually learn, and once I’ve learned, I’ll reciprocate in my own way. I thought we had this teaching relationship-you give, I receive, then repay. This model seemed reasonable and healthy to me.”
Yan Jie listened to his words patiently, then nodded: “Mm, and then?”
“Then, I realized you don’t seem to agree with my definition of our relationship.”
Jiang Nan’an thought for a moment:
“Later I thought, this mode of interaction also seems applicable in a romantic relationship. So, if you want, perhaps my view and what I call this relationship could be modified.”
Seeing him analyze so seriously, Yan Jie felt his heart soften.
He held Jiang Nan’an’s hand, the smile at the corner of his lips hard to hide:
“Modified? Changed to what? What kind of relationship are we in?”
“…Dating?”
Jiang Nan’an raised an eyebrow slightly, uncertainly:
“Are we, dating?”
“Yes, we are dating!”
Yan Jie took a deep breath:
“Then what’s my status? What am I to you? A friend, a concubine, a chamber companion, a kissing partner, a love coach?”
Yan Jie raised this question again, thinking that now Jiang Nan’an wouldn’t casually respond with “what else?” to irritate him.
“Dating partner?” Jiang Nan’an observed his reaction.
“Try another term.”
“…” Jiang Nan’an thought for a moment, then as Yan Jie wished:
“Boyfriend?”
“Ah-”
Hadn’t Yan Jie drunk two bottles of alcohol and stayed angry for half the night just for these three words?
“Say it again.”
“Boyfriend.”
“Once more.”
“Boyfriend…”
“One more time.”
Jiang Nan’an’s patience was exhausted:
“Go downstairs, turn left three hundred meters from the community.”
“What for?”
“There’s a shopping mall there where you can purchase a voice recorder of your choice.”
Yan Jie couldn’t help but laugh.
He pulled Jiang Nan’an into his arms, stroking his back with his large hand:
“I’m sorry, baby. I should have just talked to you properly yesterday. It was all my fault-getting upset for no reason, leaving, and not answering your calls, making you worry all night. It won’t happen again. From now on, I’ll tell you everything, and you should do the same. Let’s not keep things bottled up inside. If there’s a problem, let’s bring it up right away, okay?”
“Okay.” Jiang Nan’an leaned against his shoulder, smelling the scent of shower gel on him, along with the unmistakable smell of cigarettes and alcohol that it couldn’t mask.
He lowered his eyes:
“So you’re not leaving?”
“Of course not. I worked so hard to move in, how could I bear to leave?” Yan Jie raised his eyebrows, something suddenly stirring inside him:
“Why did you think I would leave?”
“Because I didn’t give you what you wanted. Your efforts didn’t get the corresponding value from me.”
Jiang Nan’an said flatly, very naturally:
“I disappointed you.”
Hearing these words, Yan Jie’s heart felt as if it had been squeezed into a ball by a large hand, and when released, every part ached with a sour pain.
Because he thought he had disappointed him.
He thought Yan Jie would abandon him, so he didn’t even go back to his room, just waited outside for him to return so he could apologize and explain.
So all those words earlier were actually attempts to keep him from leaving?
“No, Nan Nan, don’t think like that. I love you very much. I seriously want to date you, to be with you properly. My love for you doesn’t require you to repay me. If you feel you’re not doing well, that’s my problem, not yours.”
Yan Jie hugged him tightly:
“Didn’t I tell you? You can always trust me. No matter what, I won’t leave you, and I certainly won’t give up on you over something so small. I might get upset occasionally, but no matter what, you’re the most important thing, okay?”
“…” Jiang Nan’an opened his mouth as if wanting to say something, but in the end just sighed softly:
“…Okay.”
#
(advanced chapters available on kofi)
![President Huo Wants Me to Restore His Reputation [Entertainment Circle]](https://www.freenovels.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/03-cd6f642.jpg "President Huo Wants Me to Restore His Reputation [Entertainment Circle]")
