“If it weren’t for my carelessness, you should have been by my side since birth, under my protection, raised by me.”
His voice was hoarse, but I still heard it clearly. I was stunned and looked at him with tears in my eyes. I saw that his long eyelashes were drooping and some blood was seeping from the corners of his eyes and flowing down his face.
“What are you talking about? Why should I be born beside you?” I murmured in confusion. I couldn’t help but reach out my hand and wipe the blood from his eyes. “Tunshe Nalin, you have many secrets about me that you are hiding from me, right? I want to know. I have the right to know my life experience and origins.”
He remained silent, as if he didn’t want to speak, but he held my wrist and kissed my bloody fingertips like a devout believer kissing a god. I grabbed his collar and refused to give in: “Tell me, Tunshe Nalin! I had decided to part ways with you after you violated me, but you chased me and broke my life into pieces! If you don’t tell me anything, don’t expect me to accept you. Even if you tie me up for life, I will never fall in love with you!”
The cold fingers holding my wrist trembled.
A drop of blood and tear seeped through my fingers and fell on my chest, like a cinnabar mole.
My chin was suddenly grabbed tightly. In the next instant, he pinned me against the window and kissed me frantically. I bit down hard on the tip of his tongue, unlocked the car door, and it instantly swung open. Half of my body immediately fell out of the car, and a beam of headlights shone directly toward me. A pair of hands swiftly pulled me back in and shut the door. Perhaps he had used too much force, his hand slammed against the door with a loud bang, and a speck of red burst beside my ear.
“What are you doing?”
Tunshe Nalin was almost roaring, his vocal cords were about to break, and his arms held me tightly.
“I can’t escape from your clutches, and I can’t do anything to you either, but it’s easy for me to kill myself.”
I chuckled and whispered in his ear, “I am sick all over and very fragile. You know it very well.”
His whole body began to tremble, and a thick, icy liquid dampened my temple.
Tunshe Nalin was afraid.
I suddenly became acutely aware of this. Clearly, he was such a powerful being—undying, indestructible, capable of reducing ten thousand ghosts to ashes with a mere flick of his finger, turning the living into mindless husks. Yet, when he held me in his arms, it felt like he was someone who was already at death’s gate, frail as a withered skeleton. He clung to me as if I were his entire world, something that could dissolve into drifting sand at any moment, melt into ice water, and vanish without a trace.
“What are you afraid of, Tunshe Nalin?”
For the first time, it felt as though I caught a glimpse of a crack in his peerlessly handsome facade. Through that fissure, a fragment of his soul was laid bare, blazing like the heart of a mountain, yet scarred and battered, riddled with wounds.
With just one strike from my own hand, he would crumble into dust.
A boundless sense of pity surged in my heart. I slowly raised my hand, wanting to caress his cheek.
A cold, hard object, however, gently fell against my forehead.
I lifted my gaze and saw that he was pressing his bent finger against my forehead. The red carnelian on his thumb ring had already cracked, likely from the earlier impact. From the center of the fracture, a thin white thread of light emerged, drifting toward my face like a living thing. Stunned, I looked up at him, only to see his lowered lashes and a single drop of blood seeping from his eyes, falling at the corner of my eyes.
“Forget it. It’s fate. Back then, I gave my all, yet I could only preserve this single strand of your soul’s breath. Now, I return it to you, perhaps it will help you recall fragments of your past life. Ranran… Mi Jia… remember this, in this lifetime, even if I turn to nothing but withered bones, I will shield you from the dust of the world.”
“Mi Jia…”
“Mi Jia!”
“Mi Jia, Mother is calling you! Hurry up and go! Why are you drawing again?”
A hand slapped my back, and I jumped in surprise. The charcoal pencil in my hand fell to the ground, breaking into two pieces.
The little bird I had just drawn on the ground was only half finished. I turned my head and looked at the troublemaker behind me angrily, but she was smiling as brightly as spring flowers, her face was rosy, a pair of braids were decorated with small bells, her eyebrows were curved like crescent moons, and her little tiger teeth were shining, making it impossible to stay angry, my little sister was the most beautiful girl in the world, of course, though she couldn’t compare to our mother, whose beauty was renowned far and wide across the mountains.
“Go quickly and come back soon. I heard today is the king’s triumph celebration. There’s bound to be some excitement, don’t you want to go and see? Uncle Baluo is heading to the royal city to sell horses, and he can give us a ride.”
“Wait for me!” Going to the city? My heart leaped with joy, and I jumped up three feet high. I rushed through the corridor, weaving through the vast estate, and finally arrived at my mother’s quarters in the side courtyard. I tiptoed and gently pushed the door open. My mother was facing the mirror, combing her hair. Hearing the sound, she turned and gave me a gentle smile.
“Jia’er is here; come over, come try on the new soles I made for you.”
“Mother, you’re so good.” I giggled and sat down in front of the mirror. Looking into it, I saw that both my eye color and the red mole at the corner of my eye were identical to my mother’s. Though my little sister and I were twins, she didn’t have this mole on her face. I resembled Mother much more than she did.
“Ah, Jia’er, your feet have grown a little bigger. That’s right, in just a month, Jia’er will be fourteen.”
Mother measured my foot with hers and looked up at me with a smile. “You’re almost at the age to marry. You’ve been to all the nearby towns and villages; tell me, have you found any girls you fancy?”
I scratched my head. Aside from going to the private school and climbing mountains or collecting bird eggs with my friends in town, my favorite thing to do was drawing little pictures. Whether it was mountains, streams, flowers, birds, or insects, I had endless interest in capturing them on paper. As for getting married, I had no interest at all.
“All you do is draw all day.” Mother slipped the new soles into my shoes and put them on for me. She said gently, “Alright, go to the royal city and take a look around. Gain some experience, and don’t forget to pay attention to pretty girls.”
“Got it! I’ll draw some scenes of the royal city and show them to you when I come back!”
I quickly kissed Mother on the cheek and rushed out the door.
The ancient Guge royal city is nestled in a valley surrounded by mountains. It was my first time coming here, despite having lived this long. Although my family is well-known as a wealthy merchant household in the nearby area, my mother is a concubine, and my little sister and I were born of a secondary wife, so we weren’t entitled to attend the royal city’s private school like the legitimate children. We could only stay in the nearby town. I didn’t mind much at first, as long as I had time to draw. But upon seeing the bustling scene of the royal city, with its endless stream of people and a dazzling array of new and interesting things, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of longing and curiosity.
I wondered if the city had the paints and art supplies that the tutors in the school had mentioned.
Walking down the bustling street, I looked around, hoping to find a shop selling those paints and art supplies. Suddenly, I heard my little sister gasp in surprise beside me.
“It’s the king’s procession! Mi Jia, look!”
“Make way, make way! His Majesty is entering the city! Everyone kneel, those who block the way will be executed!”
Just as I was about to peek, I saw two rows of soldiers riding white horses galloping toward us. The entire market seemed to part like a receding tide, with everyone retreating to the sides and into the shops. As the sound of drums filled the air, red petals fluttered down from the sky, carrying a fragrant aroma. People reached out to grab them, but I didn’t make a move. Yet, a petal gently landed at the corner of my eye, as though giving me a kiss. I plucked the petal and tucked it into my sleeve, using my small frame to squeeze to the front row. I craned my neck and couldn’t help but widen my eyes.
