Chapter 5 – Summer (Part 5)
Summer, Part 5
Novel Title: ツァイガルニクの恋の沼 (Zeigarnik’s Love Swamp)
Author:月村奎著 (Tsukimura Kei)
Illustrator:志水ゆき (Shimizu Yuki)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 市川春音 (Ichikawa Harune -MC) & 二ノ宮航輝 (Ninomiya Kouki -ML)
*Please read at universalnovel.com, the original site of translation. TQ*
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Harune quietly developed a crush on Naoki. It was like the way someone might idolise a celebrity.
Rather than a serious romantic target, it was more enjoyable to imagine someone like that and experience the thrill of infatuation.
Moments like getting spoken to that day, or being protected from Kouki’s teasing, became little daily events that kept Harune’s spirits up.
Whenever Naoki defended Harune, Kouki would get even more riled up, teasing Harune even more, and that back-and-forth was exciting in its own way.
When Harune was in his first year of middle school, he came up with the idea to give Naoki a hand-knitted sweater for Christmas. By that time, Harune’s knitting skills had improved so much that he was handling most of the sample knits for his grandparents’ shop, and gifts he had made for his father and Natsuno had been well-received.
Some people might find a heartfelt hand-knit gift too much to handle, but Harune felt confident that Naoki would casually accept it without thinking much of it.
It was his first time knitting something for someone other than family, and the process filled him with excitement. He kept the design simple to avoid making it look too handmade, knitting it into a crew neck style.
Proud of how well it turned out, Harune wrapped it in packaging paper from Ichikawa Thread Shop and set off to deliver it on Christmas Eve.
However, Naoki, who was now in his third year of middle school, was out attending a winter prep course. Just as Harune was about to leave and try again later, Kouki caught him.
“What do you need my brother for? What’s that?” Kouki asked. Harune hastily replied, “It’s nothing,” and tried to leave, but Kouki blocked his way and kept pestering him about the contents of the package. In the scuffle, the bag tore, and the smoky blue sweater fell to the ground.
Harune braced himself, expecting Kouki to either make fun of him or ridicule him.
But no, being mocked or laughed at would have been preferable. What Harune saw on Kouki’s face was a look of sheer shock, like he was genuinely horrified.
Kouki looked back and forth between the sweater and Harune’s face before saying, “…A hand-knitted gift? That’s creepy. Are you seriously in love with my brother? You’re a guy.”
Harune was shocked in a way he hadn’t anticipated.
More than having his feelings for Naoki called out, it was Kouki sensing his sexual orientation that terrified him the most.
Until then, though Kouki had teased and made fun of Harune, there had also been moments of kindness, so while he may have been looked down on, Harune didn’t think he was outright hated.
But now, knowing Kouki had figured out he liked men, Harune was sure Kouki would despise him.
The thought of Kouki hating him was unbearable. And in his distress, Harune lashed out.
“So what if I do? Naoki is a million times kinder and more charming than you! Anyone would fall for him! I never want to hear from you again! I hate you!”
It was a desperate act, like a cornered mouse biting the cat.
Harune expected Kouki to snap back with twice as much force, but contrary to his expectations, Kouki just stood there in silence.
The dumbfounded look on Kouki’s face from that moment is something Harune can never forget.
Harune ran away from the scene as fast as he could. In his shock, he even forgot to pick up the sweater but didn’t have the courage to go back for it.
After that incident, Kouki stopped approaching Harune altogether. Whether he had taken Harune’s harsh words to heart or was disgusted by his sexual orientation, Harune didn’t know.
Being suddenly freed from Kouki’s teasing brought not relief, but a sense of deep regret for what he had done.
He had lied—he didn’t hate Kouki at all. Sure, the teasing was frustrating and hurtful sometimes, but even those moments were part of why Harune really liked Kouki. It was only after that incident that Harune realised how much he truly cared for him.
It was different from what he felt for Naoki. He could give Naoki hand-knitted gifts without hesitation, as if he were family, but he could never do the same for Kouki.
Because it wouldn’t be a joke anymore. His real feelings would spill out, and that scared him.
By the time Harune realised that Kouki had been his true first love, it was already too late.
They didn’t speak another word to each other after graduating middle school, and Harune went on to attend a different high school than Kouki.
By then, they had all grown older, and it wasn’t the norm to hang out with childhood friends from the neighbourhood anymore.
Harune continued to spend most of his time at his grandparents’ house, watching from afar as Kouki, wearing a different school uniform, would pass by with other friends, laughing. It always left Harune with a bittersweet feeling.
After high school, Harune moved to Tokyo to attend a fashion design school and later found a job at a clothing company in the city.
Had Kouki been just another childhood friend, Harune would have tucked his memories of him away into some corner of his mind. But with Naoki and Harune’s sister being married, news of Kouki’s life continued to reach him in conversations. Kouki had gone on to study woodworking at a vocational school after high school, found a job at some workshop, won an award for a chair he designed at an international competition, and was now able to sell his pieces for a good price. A few years ago, he started his own workshop and even helped out at his family’s furniture store.
There had been several occasions where Harune and Kouki saw each other, such as at the funerals of Harune’s grandparents and father, who had passed away one after another, and at his sister’s wedding. Each time, Harune would catch fleeting glimpses of his childhood friend, who was becoming more and more striking, while trying his best to avoid contact. Kouki also kept his distance with an indifferent attitude, which, in a way, Harune was grateful for.
What concerned Harune most after returning to the town to take over the family store was how to interact with Kouki. It was easy enough to avoid him during one-time events, but now that they were living in the same town and were technically in-laws, it would be impossible to avoid contact altogether.
“Are you seriously in love with my brother? You’re a guy.”
Those words Kouki threw at him that day, along with the look of contempt, were seared into Harune’s memory.
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Next update: 2026.06.11
