In the first dusk of the first year of Jingyu, a heavy silence fell over Prince Zhao Manor. No servants entered or left the inner courtyard; the entire household tacitly yielded this solemn moment to the mother and her two children alone.
Lu Shuqing sat on the threshold with his face buried in his mother’s lap, leaving only his eyes visible to watch Lu Shuning playing contentedly under the white plum tree. The embroidered stool Xie Jing sat on had no backrest, so he could only lean hollowly against the door of the flower hall, his spine curved in a weary arc.
“Leaving home and leaving the capital tomorrow morning,” Lu Shuqing suddenly said, “is that a temporary tactic you told him… or your true intention?”
Xie Jing first shook his head, then nodded.
Lu Shuqing choked up, then asked in quick succession, “Will Mother be going very far? Could you perhaps settle at one of Uncle’s properties in the outskirts of the capital? Don’t we still have houses in Suzhou and Hangzhou? Those places are peaceful and prosperous, and no one pays much attention to the turmoil in the capital. Or… is Mother planning to return to Chen Commandery?”
At this point, his energy flagged again. “I don’t know if those uncles and cousins in Chen Commandery will be implicated.”
Xie Jing remained silent for a long time before saying, “None of those. Mother is going to Yongzhou.”
Lu Shuqing reacted quickly: “Is that where Father’s old mentor, Lord He, serves as a prefect?”
Seeing Xie Jing’s silent admission, Lu Shuqing was stunned for a good while before murmuring, “Then… that is truly far away.”
Xie Jing let out a long breath and stroked Lu Shuqing’s hair. “Yes. I have lived twenty-six years in vain, never having gone to such a distant place on my own, and certainly never having been separated from you and your sister by such a great distance.”
Lu Shuqing fell silent for a long while, then suddenly murmured with certainty, “Only me, not my sister.”
Xie Jing was startled, only to see the boy look up while asking in a tone that was almost a plea, “Mother, take Ningning with you, alright?”
This was a request Xie Jing had never even considered. He said in astonishment, “Qing’er, you know that I have never favored one over the other; you and your sister are like my own two palms, to lose even a sliver of flesh from either would cost me my life. Do you not wish to go with me?”
Lu Shuqing shook his head hurriedly. “It’s not that I’m unwilling; it’s just… I fear that with Father away, I cannot leave.”
He and Xie Jing both fell into a somber silence; this was a predictable reality, something that should not have been hoped for. Today, even a status-climbing captain dared to brand the father and son with the charge of “coveting the throne.” It was not hard to imagine that if Lu Shuqing were to leave Jinling without authorization, it would place himself, Lu Lingcong, Lu Lingzhen, and Consort Dowager Wu in grave danger.
He hadn’t just become a hostage the moment his father led the Tiger Division out of the capital. From the very moment he was born as the heir of Prince Zhao, he already was one.
Lu Shuqing followed Lu Shuning’s footsteps with his gaze. “But Ningning ‘can’ leave. And she is so small; even though Auntie treats her as her own and Grandmother and Aunt love and protect her in a thousand ways, who can truly compare to her biological mother? During those days when you were in the palace pleading for Maternal Grandfather’s family, Ningning was so miserable because she couldn’t find you; it broke my heart to see it.”
“I have watched how Father tried his best to be a good elder brother to Aunt, to Uncle, and also to you since I was small. It is truly no easy feat. I know I am far from the age where I can leave my parents’ protection and test my wings alone, but Ningning needs a mother’s company even more than I do. I can look after myself; I understand the treachery of the world and the difficult situation of our household, but Ningning hasn’t been touched by any of these things yet.”
“That would be the greatest fortune if she could go far away with Mother, growing up in a place separated from the capital by mountains and rivers, never to be dragged into the disputes of the Imperial Family for the rest of her life.”
As Xie Jing listened to him speak sentence after sentence, his tears began to fall uncontrollably; it was silent, yet utterly beyond restraint.
He did not want Lu Shuqing to see his mother’s tears; if even he himself were teetering on the edge, how could he support this child who had just decided to become a great elder brother?
Xie Jing turned his face toward the outer side of the flower hall. The evening light blurred the sharp edges of the entire courtyard, and together with the fluttering hem of Lu Shuning’s plain white skirt, everything turned into a dream-like softness in the winter air.
This might be the last glimpse of the setting sun he would ever see in Prince Zhao’s Mansion. Xie Jing suddenly realized that Lu Shuqing had not asked about the date of his return at all.
That night, after settling his children into bed, Xie Jing summoned all the maids, attendants, servants, and household guards remaining within the mansion to the spacious main hall. He ordered several jars of Meishan Snow Liquor to be opened and personally poured a cup for each of them.
He walked into the center of the courtyard and said, “I first entered this mansion at sixteen; in just a few days, on the seventh day of the first lunar month, it will have been exactly ten years. Over these years, I have seen some leave and others arrive, while a few have stayed by my side the entire time. Meetings and partings are like the tracks of floating duckweed; it was sudden and unpredictable. But though arrivals and departures may be as light as a feather, the bonds of kindness between master and servant are weighty indeed. To me, how are all of you any different from family?”
“I am infinitely grateful for the way you all risked yourselves today to protect Shizi and me. You have always labored for Prince Zhao’s Mansion by attending to every detail, large and small; for this, I can hardly repay you. Words of thanks are too meager; I can only ask you to accept a bow from me.”
With these words, he knelt down and bowed deeply to the crowd. Several nearby maidservants hurriedly helped him up, saying, “We have found shelter beneath the eaves of Prince Zhao’s Mansion, and together with our families, we have been deeply favored by His Highness and the Princess Consort. We are merely fulfilling our duty; how could we seek compensation?”
Xie Jing returned to his seat and was the first to raise his cup. “His Highness left a letter before his departure asking me to follow the physician’s orders and watch my diet carefully. Therefore, it is inconvenient for me to indulge today; I can only drink this small amount as a token of my heart.”
The servants all raised their cups and drank together. For a moment, the fragrance of wine filled the hall, only for Xie Jing to speak again, “Beyond that, this cup is also my farewell wine.”
At these words, everyone looked at each other in shock. Yin Chou said anxiously, “Princess Consort has not yet fully recovered; how can you travel a long distance away from the capital?”
Xie Jing gave a tragic smile. “You all saw what happened this morning as well. The Yulin Guards might not dare to truly do anything to Shizi, but toward others, they are unscrupulous. Today the victim was Lu Ai; tomorrow, there is no guarantee they won’t harm all of you at all. To preserve Prince Zhao’s Mansion, my voluntary departure is the lightest path chosen after weighing all the harms.”
“In this way, although His Highness and I must both go far away, Shizi and Prince Zhao’s Mansion will remain here. As long as this mansion does not collapse, it will remain a home where you can seek shelter from the wind and rain.”
The courtyard fell into a heavy silence, everyone’s expressions solemn. Xie Jing continued, “Of course, if any of you wish to seek another master, I will by no means stop you. You may take a sum of silver and leave; we shall part on good terms with no resentment held.”
“I have only these matters to settle. You may all go and rest. Uncle Zhou and Yin Chou, please wait a moment; I still have a few words to say.”
The crowd dispersed with heavy hearts. Xie Jing invited the two to sit, first addressing Uncle Zhou: “You are a veteran servant sent from the Wu family by the Consort Dowager. You watched His Highness grow up and have managed this vast mansion; your hard work and merits are beyond measure. Whether you wish to return to your ancestral home in the future or remain in the mansion to spend your waning years, both His Highness and I shall serve and provide for you as if you were our own parent.”
Having finished, he turned to look at Yin Chou. Over the years, she had become far more than just a physician; she handled everything from the internal affairs of the mansion and the upbringing of the heir and the young county princess, to external social relations with the great houses and business dealings. For any matter Xie Jing had to handle, Yin Chou was always there to assist. The wealth she had accumulated was enough to open ten medical halls, yet she had never left.
Xie Jing sighed, “From the first day we met, you said you wanted to reopen your family’s medical hall. In the end, I have wasted so many of your years for nothing. Now that I am leaving, it would be wrong of me to force you to stay any longer.”
Yin Chou exchanged a glance with Uncle Zhou before saying, “Those words are too distant, Princess Consort. I have resolved never to have children of my own in this lifetime. I raised Qing’er and Lady Ning from infancy with my own hands. Since they call me ‘Auntie,’ I love them as my own. When the mansion was at the height of its power, you saved me and gave me the status and dignity of your bridal retinue. Now that we are amidst the storm, how could I possibly abandon the mansion just to seek my own fortune?”
Uncle Zhou added, “My sentiments are the same as Yin Chou’s. My kinsmen back home have long since scattered. I am grateful that His Highness and the Princess Consort did not cast me aside but were willing to let this old man live in the mansion for over a decade, treating me with such respect. What more could I possibly ask for?”
At this point, no further explanations or emotional appeals were needed between them. Xie Jing said softly, “I might take Ningning with me—perhaps I will only take her.”
Uncle Zhou asked tentatively, “Does His Highness Shizi know?”
“It was he who begged me… to take his sister away and let him remain behind.”
Both were stunned. Yin Chou pondered for a long while before sighing, “Ever since the Xie family met with disaster, Qing’er has indeed grown up overnight. His mind is too heavy, and he has become far too sensible for his own good.”
Uncle Zhou said sorrowfully, “No matter what, Princess Consort, please simply set out with a peaceful mind and take good care of yourself and the Little County Princess. With so many of us remaining in the mansion, we have no other thought but to do our utmost to protect His Highness Shizi.”
Xie Jing nodded. “I naturally trust you. I have only one final plea: after I am gone, please commit all my old belongings and traces within the mansion to the flames. Leave not a single mark behind. Act as though the Prince Zhao’s Mansion… never had me as its Princess Consort.”
The noise gradually faded. Xie Jing sat in the empty courtyard throughout the night surrounded by the mellow fragrance of the Meishan Snow Liquor filling the room.
Only when a faint whitening appeared along the horizon did he finally rise. Carrying a lantern whose flame flickered weakly, he walked toward the side gate that led into the garden.
It was the season when all flora withered. As soon as the door opened, a bleak, cold wind immediately billowed out Xie Jing’s cloak. He stepped straight up the stairs and walked forward along the corridor built to shield visitors from rain and sun.
Behind the rockery stood several osmanthus trees; the blossoms gathered on silk cloths last year to make pastries still remained unused in the storehouse. The swing set was hidden not far from the trees surrounded by exquisite Taihu rocks; of the girls who used to gather there in groups to dry their vibrant summer clothes, most were now married women. To the right was the window of Xie Jing’s inner study; the wisteria Lu Lingcong had transplanted for him was not yet in bloom, leaving only the lonely vines coiled beneath the eaves.
At the top of the steps, he reached the second floor of the small building in the northwest corner. In the first few months of Xie Jing’s pregnancy with Lu Shuning, he kept to an early routine, often coming up here at this very hour, before dawn had fully broken. There would be a slight chill in the breeze around the Mid-Autumn Festival, and with the entire mansion still asleep, he would lean against the railing alone. He would watch the misty blue of the distant sky, watching the morning stars descend and the fading reflection of the white moon imprinted on the heavens. Birds chirped all around, yet it was never noisy; it only made his heart feel a comfortable stillness. At times, when he grew tired of watching, he would turn back and curl into the soft furs of the couch for a brief morning sleep.
Passing through the small building and exiting from the other side, he could still see a few small bamboo stools left behind on the stone boat by the back lake. He didn’t know which banquet’s musicians had sat there and forgotten to put them away afterward. Whenever Lu Shuqing failed to memorize his texts, he would often run here alone to hide in the quiet.
Following the covered corridor all the way down and crossing the winding bridge, he arrived at the back lake and Qibi Pavilion. Xie Jing himself could no longer tell how much time he had spent here: playing qin and chess in spring; taking his children out boating and splashing in the water in summer; listening to rain striking the withered lotuses in autumn; and in winter, melting snow to boil tea. Regardless of the wind howling outside the window, he and Lu Lingcong would share their love amidst the dense, warm fragrance until the third watch of the night—
And now, it was all in the past.
Lu Lingcong had once grumbled to him that land along the banks of the Qinhuai River was worth its weight in gold, and so this garden could hardly be called truly spacious. Yet now, as he wandered in solitary loneliness, everywhere his eyes fell was empty, and everywhere was silent. He was about to be separated from his small family by the width of the world, and those old friends, mentors, colleagues, guests, and kin who once entered and exited the mansion daily would likely never gather together again to enjoy wine and laughter… Of those who once enjoyed the flowers with me, less than half remain when I count them today.
Dawn was approaching. Xie Jing slowly paced back to his room, finding that his and Lu Shuning’s travel bags had already been neatly packed and placed on the table, likely arranged by Yin Chou. Realizing the hardships that lay ahead on this journey, the servants had stuffed the bags full of banknotes and medicinal herbs.
Xie Jing changed into unremarkable, plain clothing. All the old pouches, fan cords, palace sashes, and jade pendants from the past were nowhere to be found. He simply tucked the silver incense locket containing the locks of hair into his inner tunic and slid the unfinished jade disc into his sleeve.
He stood still while surveying the bedroom where he had lived for ten years before finally letting his gaze fall upon the tall standing mirror. In the reflection was only a thin, solitary figure staring back at him blankly. On countless mornings he had stood here dressing and doing his hair while Lu Lingcong would quietly creep up behind him, suddenly catching him around the waist in an embrace and kissing his half-exposed shoulder with his eyes crinkled with laughter.
Now, they were all leaving.
Lu Shuqing was still sleeping on the bed. Xie Jing used almost every ounce of his willpower to force himself not to open the bed curtains, not to bid farewell, fearing that if he took just one more look, he would be unable to leave.
He wrapped himself in a cloak, shouldered the luggage, and turned to go straight to the eastern room. He lifted Lu Shuning into his arms and started walking out. However, just as he reached the flower hall, a familiar cry suddenly rang out from behind him:
“Mother!”
Lu Shuqing had not even had time to put on socks. He rushed up in a few strides and stuffed a small hand warmer into Lu Shuning’s arms. “Ningning rarely travels far; don’t let her hands get frostbitten.”
There was a faint dark shadow under his eyes showing that he had clearly stayed awake the entire night, yet he was smiling. Xie Jing watched as his eldest son forced a calm and nonchalant expression—a smile meant to reassure his mother that remained frozen on his face. He did not realize that his mother, who knew him best, could see his panic in a single glance.
“Then, Mother… I will stop here.”
Xie Jing could find no words to say. He simply leaned closer, pressed a hurried kiss to Lu Shuqing’s forehead, and strode quickly out of the flower hall. The door closed mercilessly behind him, and in that instant, Xie Jing clearly heard the sound of Lu Shuqing’s finally unrestrained weeping.
Not a single person could be seen moving within Prince Zhao’s Mansion. It was so deathly silent that one might have heard a silver needle hit the floor. Xie Jing focused only on moving forward, leaving no space in his mind for anything else, until he pushed open the door into the front courtyard. He jerked his head up and froze completely on the spot—
Every single servant and maid who had drunk that cup of Meishan Snow Liquor the night before was standing outside the front hall, not one missing, waiting quietly to see him off on his journey.
A tightness rose in Xie Jing’s throat, and his body trembled faintly as he walked, step by step, through their ranks, drawing ever closer to the mansion’s main gate.
The moment his hand touched the door knocker, he could not help but glance back one final time. He saw dozens of people bowing to him in unison, yet they remained silent; not even a single “safe travel” was permitted to be spoken.
The heavy gates were pushed open, and the Yulin Guards were already arrayed outside the mansion. Only then did Lu Shuning stir awake in a daze to move her limbs sluggishly in her sleep. She had never known the meaning of morning grumpiness; she simply leaned into the crook of Xie Jing’s neck and asked in a tiny voice, “Mother, what’s happening?”
“Rest easy and sleep,” Xie Jing answered her, his voice as soft as a dirge. “Mother is taking you to a place where we can see the snow.”
