When Yin Chou reappeared in the study, her long hair was no longer loose; instead, it was pulled up high into a bun like that of a married woman.
Xie Jing was stunned when he saw her appearance, but she immediately explained, “I come from the Star-Plucking Tower. Princess Consort graciously offered me a place to stay, which is perfectly proper, yet people cannot help but gossip. Today, following the ancient custom of ‘self-combing,’ I vowed never to marry in this life and henceforth devote myself entirely to fulfilling my family’s medical hall legacy.”
As she spoke, she bowed and performed another solemn courtesy. Xie Jing helped her up and said, “Whether you marry or not is up to your own plan.”
He led Yin Chou to sit on the couch in the inner chamber, but the latter suddenly paused and asked, “When the Princess Consort showed the token, no one else saw it besides that old woman, right?”
Xie Jing shook his head, “Certainly not.”
Yin Chou let out a long breath: “It’s fortunate that no one else witnessed it. Otherwise, if word got out that His Highness Prince Zhao had publicly spent the night in a brothel with the Princess Consort, and that the Princess Consort even redeemed a girl to take home, the Prince’s Mansion’s reputation would be ruined, and wouldn’t I become a sinner?”
Xie Jing smiled and said, “You don’t need to worry. At lunch today, I will announce your identity before everyone in the mansion. If you agree, from now on you will simply be considered part of my dowry, a member of the Xie family; and have no further ties to the Star-Plucking Tower.”
Yin Chou thanked him again and then asked, “What was the matter the Princess Consort mentioned in the carriage earlier that was inconvenient to tell outsiders?”
Xie Jing thought for a moment: “Actually, it’s just what His Highness said. I’ve indeed been feeling unwell recently, but it’s not entirely the discomfort of a difficult summer. I don’t know—ai, nevermind. Just come here.”
Yin Chou was confused but still complied with his request before taking a cloth to cover Xie Jing’s wrist and proceeding to check his pulse. Her fingertips moved slightly, then suddenly paused. She looked up at Xie Jing in surprise, then buried her head again, carefully examining his pulse for a long time, looking like she wanted to speak but stopped herself.
Xie Jing sighed and said, “Is that indeed the case?”
Yin Chou hesitated, “For the Princess Consort to say that… do you already have a conclusion in mind?”
Xie Jing asked again, “How many days has it been? I’m not good at counting this.”
Yin Chou: “About two months in total.”
This made things simple. His intimacy with Lu Lingcong hadn’t been frequent; Xie Jing remembered each date clearly, as well as exactly how far things had gone each time. Two months… there was only that one time by the river at Yanzi Rock.
He fell silent. Yin Chou withdrew her hand and the cloth and, after a long pause, asked, “Does His Highness not know?”
Xie Jing neither shook his head nor nodded. His mind was spinning too slowly right now, and he hadn’t yet been able to properly process the issue; he only mumbled vaguely.
Yin Chou looked at Xie Jing’s expression and knew her guess was mostly accurate. If it were someone else, she would certainly have started criticizing, “Neglecting one’s own body, living recklessly, falling for a trick and getting pregnant, and still footing the bill for the tricker,” but the person sitting opposite her was Princess Consort Zhao, who had just done her a great favor, so she had to consider her words carefully.
Yin Chou tentatively asked, “Is Princess Consort perhaps… not wanting it?”
Xie Jing suddenly snapped back to attention with a start, his hand instinctively covered his lower abdomen, and he firmly said, “I want it!”
Yin Chou was startled by him and quickly soothed, “You want it, you want it, I merely asked a casual question. Your pulse is steady. In a while, we’ll be able to tell if it’s a boy or a girl. If Princess Consort doesn’t mind, I will look after you until the little master ensures everything is handled properly.”
Xie Jing looked at her. Yin Chou was arguably the very first person he had completely “won over” himself since marrying into Prince Zhao’s Mansion, and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of closeness. He then said, “If you are willing, that would be wonderful. You don’t need to worry about sweeping or daily routines; just pay close attention to this child.”
He spoke sincerely, truly hoping from the bottom of his heart that he could have someone like Yin Chou to help him with this matter, rather than simply bringing a girl from the brothel back to the mansion to be a servant maid.
Yin Chou agreed and then carefully asked, “Should we tell His Highness?”
“No,” Xie Jing shook his head almost without thinking. Realizing this was unusual, he added, “Not yet for now. I’ll think about it more. Once I’ve thought it through… I’ll tell him myself.”
Yin Chou nodded, “Just, no matter what, Princess Consort must not neglect your own body or the child.”
Xie Jing wrote a note for Yin Chou, allowing her free access to the storeroom. Whether it was tonic soup or medicine to secure the fetus, she was to take funds directly from his dowry and not use the Prince’s Mansion’s public accounts.
Yin Chou gave him a few more instructions before leaving, leaving Xie Jing alone in the study, still with his hand pressed against his lower abdomen, lost in deep thought.
Lu Lingcong had said that day that he was afraid Xie Jing would regret having a child, asking him to meticulously consider whether he could accept all the costs of bearing a child, if he was prepared to welcome the child’s arrival, and if he was prepared to spend the remaining decades of his life tirelessly accompanying him.
To be honest, Xie Jing hadn’t figured it out. After noticing the changes in his body over this period, he had harbored suspicions, yet until now, he hadn’t mustered the courage to think about them rationally and clearly, to take the actions he ought to; the actions a sensible person would take, such as carefully weighing the pros and cons.
But the moment Yin Chou asked that question, he didn’t even need to think; his instinct had already made him regard this unformed little being as one of the most precious treasures of his life.
Xie Jing trusted that Lu Lingcong was a man of his word and that the promises he made would genuinely be kept. This was based on his trust and understanding of Lu Lingcong’s character. Yet precisely because of this, he found it difficult to distinguish between Lu Lingcong’s “love” and “responsibility.”
The moment this child Is born, he will possess an illustrious status, be admired by many, and enjoy endless glory and wealth, but he may not necessarily possess the father’s love.
Undoubtedly, Lu Lingcong would take on the responsibilities of a father, protecting this child from birth, guiding them through growth, and standing by them into adulthood. But Xie Jing didn’t know if this was “waiting” or “anticipation.” He didn’t know if Lu Lingcong would love their child, just as—just as he didn’t know if Lu Lingcong would love him.
Perhaps even Lu Lingcong himself didn’t know, which is why he said, “I’m afraid you’ll regret it.”
The sound of maidservants addressing “Your Highness” came from outside, indicating that Lu Lingcong was passing by and the girls were paying their respects. Xie Jing involuntarily stood up, rushed out of the study in a few quick steps, and stood looking around. He found that Lu Lingcong had already reached the end of the corridor and was about to step into the flower hall.
Xie Jing blurted out the call: “Zifeng!”
Lu Lingcong paused in his footsteps and looked back at him suspiciously.
This was the first time Xie Jing had addressed him by his courtesy name without attaching his surname in anger, and without the teasing “gege” that usually followed; just those two characters, simply his courtesy name.
Xie Jing then said, “Come here and hug me.”
He pursed his lips after speaking and could almost hear Lu Lingcong’s silent thought of “Huh?”
Lu Lingcong was only briefly startled, then immediately walked over, asked nothing, and gently wrapped his arms around him.
Xie Jing placed his hands on Lu Lingcong’s back and patted him a couple of times, making it look as though Lu Lingcong had initiated the hug, and he was, in turn, comforting the other party. Their bodies were pressed closely together, and Xie Jing could feel his abdomen rising and falling with each breath, brushing against Lu Lingcong’s body.
“What’s wrong?” Lu Lingcong asked.
Xie Jing thought to himself: Letting you hug your child. He shook his head, voluntarily stepped out of Lu Lingcong’s embrace, and said, “You can go now.”
Then he turned and went straight back into the study, leaving Lu Lingcong standing alone in the corridor in complete bewilderment.
Fortunately, Xie Jing wasn’t vomiting severely, and his figure hadn’t changed yet. Eating only a little at the dinner table could be explained as a poor appetite, so keeping it from Lu Lingcong was not difficult.
But it was not foolproof either. For example, one day when he was in Linhai Palace, seeing it was breaking time, the palace servants brought up two plates of preserved vegetable and pork-stuffed glutinous rice cakes. Lu Lingzhang had only taken a small bite when Xie Jing caught the scent and hurried behind the bookshelves, covering his mouth as he quietly retched.
Fortunately, it was not in front of people, and Lu Lingzhang was young and didn’t understand such things, only thinking he had choked, and hurriedly poured him a cup of tea to drink.
However, Xie Jing still underestimated the power of Jinling’s summer heat. The weather suddenly became hot after the Dragon Boat Festival. Logically, early summer last year should have felt much the same, but because of the pregnancy, he was particularly sensitive to the seasonal change. Even slight discomfort could easily affect his whole body, even causing his breathing to feel labored.
Sleeping at night became an awkward and difficult matter. Lu Lingcong asked whether he wanted the bamboo sleeping mat to be brought out and laid down to help ease the heat and make sleeping more comfortable. But the jade mat was naturally cold. Fearing he might catch a chill; Xie Jing could only claim that sleeping on a mat for too long would make his back ache and did not dare agree.
However, without laying it down on it, it was indeed very hot. Lying flat on the bed with nothing to occupy him, he felt the sweat on his back grow sticky, clinging to his sleeping clothes. Lu Lingcong was alright; he was used to this dreadful weather and could still endure it. Xie Jing, however, felt like he had climbed into a furnace; there wasn’t a single patch of skin on his body that wasn’t wet, making his pre-sleep bath useless.
Because Xie Jing was thin, he was not someone who used to fear the heat; this symptom only appeared with the pregnancy. But Lu Lingcong didn’t know this, only thinking he was naturally afraid of the heat. Therefore, when Xie Jing frowned and told him, “Stay away from me,” he could only obediently comply. The bed was spacious enough, so he moved a little distance away, asked a maid for a light, thin round fan, and lay on his side to fan him.
“What are you doing?” Xie Jing pressed down his hand. “There’s no need to wait on me like this.”
Lu Lingcong said, “Isn’t it because I noticed that your face is all red? Why don’t you just cover your waist with a corner of the quilt, like me? Huddling completely inside like that, be careful not to get heatstroke.”
Xie Jing was not stupid; of course, he knew that covering less would be cooler. If he didn’t have a little one in his belly now, he wouldn’t even want to cover himself with a quilt and would have simply imitated Lu Lingcong by going shirtless.
Another thing that became uncontrollable was his temper. Xie Jing was inherently proud, and it was only because Lu Lingcong was the person he cared for that he moderated himself slightly. But now, as soon as he saw Lu Lingcong, all the troublesome matters related to the other party and the child rushed into his mind. Forget gentle words; he didn’t even want to give him a direct look. He had only held back from losing his temper because he didn’t want others to think him moody, eccentric, or spoiled.
Finally, one night, Xie Jing was stifled beyond endurance. He opened his eyes, saw Lu Lingcong once again using him as a pillow, and shouted at him sharply, startling him awake, and that balance was broken.
Lu Lingcong sat up in a stunned surprise while rubbing his hair with his eyes closed. A hint of the irritability and impatience from being woken crept onto his face, and his tone was curt, “Don’t you see who is clinging to whom? I’m about to fall off the bed on my side while you’ve got a whole Qinhuai River’s distance from the wall on yours. What’s the logic of clinging to me and then even yelling at me?”
Xie Jing didn’t have time to notice who initiated sticking to whom; he froze on the pillow, never expecting Lu Lingcong would talk back.
Lu Lingcong ignored him as well, lifted the quilt, got out of bed, shuffled in his shoes to the empty inner room on the east side, laid out a mat, and went to sleep.
He didn’t go back for several days in a row.
This, in the peaceful Prince Zhao’s Mansion, was no less than a clap of thunder in a clear sky. Gossip was highly taboo, yet it couldn’t change the fact that those involved had shown themselves openly, so everyone simply stated the facts objectively, without stirring more trouble. The truth was that the Princess Consort had been married for nearly half a year. There had been no quarrels, not a single flush on his face; but then, all of a sudden, he started sleeping in a room apart from Their Highness.
Xie Jing’s expression was calm on the surface but in reality, he was even more distressed; to avoid taking his anger out on irrelevant people again, he simply locked himself in the study, sometimes not opening his mouth to say a single word for the entire day.
Yin Chou quietly brought in the cooling soup and advised, “Ignorance is not a sin; if His Highness knew that Princess Consort was pregnant, he would probably be too busy being attentive right now.”
Xie Jing took the bowl, frowned, drank it, and said sullenly, “That’s not necessarily true.”
Yin Chou hesitated, and seeing the look on her face that said, I want to speak but don’t know if I should, Xie Jing said, “Just go ahead and say it.”
“Actually, it’s still the same sentiment,” Yin Chou sighed. “No matter what disagreements there are, don’t take it out on your body.”
Xie Jing instantly became a little nervous: “Is something wrong with the child?”
Yin Chou waved her hand: “The little master is fine, but Princess Consort has been restless and depressed lately, which is ultimately not a long-term solution.”
Upon hearing this, Xie Jing was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked, “That night at the Star-Plucking Tower, how did you know at just one glance that he would like someone like me?”
Having spent many years in entertainment venues, Yin Chou was naturally skilled at reading people’s expressions, and after entering and exiting the inner courtyard nearest to Prince Zhao and Princess Consort Zhao every day for half a month, she had long noticed that the two of them were not as intimate as they were in the Star-Plucking Tower, nor were they as deeply affectionate as they were in the carriage on the way back.
She thought for a moment, then, instead of answering, countered with a question: “Does Princess Consort know how I was able to discern ‘Xiao’ and ‘Xian[mfn]In case you’ve forgotten, it refers to the five qualities of an ideal man mentioned in traditional sayings when XJ first met YC.[/mfn]’ then?”
Recalling those five words made Xie Jing’s ears burn, and he didn’t respond, so Yin Chou continued on her own: “The nature of a guest isn’t written plainly on their face, but having seen many people, we can discern the essentials from their gaze, expression, and overall demeanor.”
“His Highness’s manner of walking is completely different from all the guests I have seen. At a glance, it’s clear he’s incomparable to ordinary noble sons. Since his status is so esteemed, and he descended the stairs so unhurriedly, he must have a great deal of leisurely sentiment to spend on a lover[mfn]This refers to the Xian.[/mfn].”
“As for submitting and acting humble[mfn]This for the Xiao.[/mfn], I tasted that from His Highness’s gaze towards Princess Consort. I didn’t know the relationship between the two of you then, I only thought His Highness had found a congenial partner at that time, or that he was naturally romantic and would reserve some affection for everyone he looked at. But after staying in the Prince’s Mansion these days, I realized it was entirely not the case.”
Seeing Xie Jing pursing his lips and looking at her as if he were facing a great enemy, Yin Chou couldn’t help but smile: “It turns out His Highness only looks at Princess Consort that way, whether it was in the Star-Plucking Tower or in the Prince’s Mansion, it is the same. I only know that His Highness has never looked at anyone else that way, but as for the meaning and emotion within it, I suppose only Princess Consort yourself can fathom it.”
Xie Jing sat on the couch while gazing outward aimlessly. The window stood half-open, thick clouds scraping low against the eaves, while the wisteria, past its peak, was on the verge of shedding all its blossoms.
Yin Chou collected the medicine bowl then gracefully withdrew. Before stepping out of the inner chamber, she lowered her voice and said slyly, “The soup was brewed by His Highness, and he entrusted me to bring it over.”
That night, the sky, heavy for several days, could no longer bear the load and poured down a torrential rain, fierce and rapid, with a world-drenching intensity, temporarily driving away the oppressive heat that had yet to reach its peak.
That night, after days of heaviness, the sky could bear the load and unleash a torrential downpour. It was fierce, fast, and all-encompassing, momentarily washing away the lingering, oppressive heat that had yet to reach its peak.
All the doors and windows in the inner courtyard were open for ventilation, and no one had anticipated this sudden downpour. Those who were light sleepers woke up, and those who were deep sleepers were still asleep, leading to a temporary flurry of activity.
Xie Jing was awakened by the chill creeping up from the soles of his feet. He was truly too lazy to get out of bed to close the windows, but his sleeping clothes and blanket were indeed too thin, so he had to curl his body into a ball while tucking his knees tightly in front of him and even hiding his face in the quilt.
He wanted to run to the east room to find Lu Lingcong. Although that bed wasn’t often used on weekdays, it was very spacious, surely more than enough for two people, and the bedding must also be warm just like Lu Lingcong’s body as well.
But Xie Jing also didn’t want to be so eager. He knew he was at fault this time. Lu Lingcong, who was unaware of the full story, only knew that Xie Jing was shouting about being hot like a madman yet refusing any solution, and then had woken him by scolding, so it was inevitable that he would be annoyed.
But what he said was truly improper! What did he mean by “who clings to whom”? Even if he, Xie Jing, had truly clung to him in his dreams, even if he had genuinely offered a warm face to a cold bottom day after day, Lu Lingcong had no right to utter even a single complaint about him either. What logic was that? The logic was that Lu Lingcong’s child was inside his belly.
Xie Jing first righteously condemned Lu Lingcong for a bit, but then, upon thinking that he didn’t have the courage to rush up and explain everything to Lu Lingcong by pointing his finger at him, he instantly deflated again and felt extremely aggrieved.
He angrily kicked the bed frame twice. The muffled thud caused the bed curtains to rustle, but the next second, he heard the sound of the window being closed. The wind and rain were immediately shut out as footsteps gradually approached.
Xie Jing widened his eyes in shock and turned his head only to see Lu Lingcong push aside the curtain, climb onto the bed, burrow into the quilt, straighten Xie Jing from a curled-up ball into a full line, pull him tightly into an embrace, and huff, “May you be scorched by the heat.”
