[Holy shit??????]
[Fuck me! First piece of gossip for this early bird, and I’m fucking dumbfounded!!!]
[These pics are way too clear, aren’t they?? From leaving the restaurant to getting in the car, it’s all crystal clear. They must be so in love, couldn’t even wait to roll up the window before they started kissing, tsk tsk tsk!]
[They’re really in the honeymoon phase, huh.]
[Has Chen Yuan lost her mind? Is she that love-struck? Does she even remember she’s an idol? If you’re going to date, at least hide it! Would it kill you to kiss at home?]
[Never thought the first one in The Notes to have a collapse would be Chen Yuan.]
[Who would’ve guessed? I thought Yan Zhi You Yi would be the first to come out!]
[Um… that’s enough, CP fans! This is for the gossip, not for you to drool over your ship!]
[You fans are way too controlling. Can’t idols fall in love?]
[Here we go again. Every time an idol’s relationship is exposed, someone comes to lecture the fans: “What’s wrong with idols dating?” / “They’re adults, why can’t they date?” / “Fans are so controlling.” / “It’s not like you’d have a chance anyway.” / “If you love her, you should give her freedom.” I’m so sick of it! Come up with some new lines next time you try to “educate” us fans!]
[Chen Yuan, you’ve really lost it. What were you thinking, dating while your career is on the rise?!]
[Emmm, maybe it’s because I’m not a fan, but I think these GIFs are so sweet… Chen Yuan is smiling so happily. A girl in love is so adorable.]
[Lies! These are lies! @Sweet Melon Entertainment, @TheNotesOfficial, get to work!!!]
Netizens feasted excitedly on the gossip, fans were utterly heartbroken, and anti-fans fanned the flames. The view count on the explosive trending topic shot past fifty million.
Lin Yi felt as if she had fallen into an ice cave. The more she read, the colder her heart grew. In the stuffy, early summer room, her back was damp with sweat, which was then chilled by a faint breeze. Her heart hammered restlessly in her chest, the pounding vibrating against her eardrums.
Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
She heard it clearly. Her mind was buzzing, and all the information coalesced into four words playing on a loop: “Chen Yuan is dating, Chen Yuan is dating, Chen Yuan is dating…”
She shivered abruptly, as if struck by a sudden thought. She threw off the covers and got out of bed, only to run straight into Xu Shuyan the moment she opened the door. She let out a small cry and pushed her. “Move!”
“Where are you going?” Xu Shuyan grabbed her and wouldn’t let go. “Did you see the news? Lin Yi! Lin Yi! You- don’t cry…”
Lin Yi froze, rubbing the back of her hand against her face. Only then did she realize she was crying. Tears streamed down her face as if they cost nothing, and her voice was thick with sobs. “I… I… Why aren’t you crying?”
Xu Shuyan’s grip was too strong to break. Giving up, Lin Yi started pounding on her chest, repeating the question, “Aren’t you sad?”
A sudden hope bloomed within her. She wiped away her tears and grabbed Xu Shuyan. “It’s fake, right? Is it for publicity? Who’s that guy? Is he the male lead in Yuanyuan’s next drama? Is this to hype a CP?”
Xu Shuyan looked at her with a complicated expression. After a long moment, she shook her head. “It’s real.”
She loosened her grip on Lin Yi slightly, rubbing her tired brow with one hand. “I just woke up a little while ago. I haven’t really checked Weibo, I just saw Sister Fang tag us in the group chat, asking if we knew.”
After a pause, she delivered another heavy blow. “If Sister Fang is asking, then it’s almost certainly true.”
Within the group, Sister Fang was only responsible for Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi. The group had its own manager, and Chen Yuan had a personal manager as well. The relationships were complicated. Sister Fang didn’t know, but it was unclear if the group’s manager and Chen Yuan’s personal manager had been aware.
Regardless, a dating scandal within the group was bound to affect everyone else, which was why Sister Fang had contacted them in such a panic.
“What do you think?” Lin Yi sniffled. She couldn’t stop her tears, but her emotions had mostly stabilized. Her eyes red, she asked Xu Shuyan, “Did you know?”
Xu Shuyan sounded helpless. “How could I possibly know?”
Lin Yi picked at her. “You’re so calm, I thought you already knew.”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
She turned to leave. “At least I’m not like someone who only knows how to cry.”
Xu Shuyan was such a jerk, Lin Yi thought. Was there some law against crying after a breakup? Why wasn’t Xu Shuyan crying? Fine! It just proved Xu Shuyan didn’t love Chen Yuan as much as she did…
She sighed. The thought made her want to cry again. What was the point of arguing over who loved Yuanyuan more now? Yuanyuan was in a car, kissing someone else.
Kissing.
A pang of pain shot through Lin Yi’s heart. She usually treated Yuanyuan like a precious treasure, barely daring to hug her. What right did someone else have to kiss her?
When Xu Shuyan reached the stairs and saw Lin Yi hadn’t followed, she glanced back. Seeing her crying again, a wave of irritation washed over her. “Stop crying. The priority right now is to get in touch with Yuanyuan. See if she’s contacted you.”
“I’ll cry if I want to!” Lin Yi sobbed, wiping her tears in a fit of despair. “What’s the point of contacting her? To get confirmation?”
Xu Shuyan was at a loss. She started to head downstairs alone, but after one step, she turned back, grabbed Lin Yi’s arm, and pulled her along. “We don’t need confirmation. Didn’t you see the GIF? That was clearly Yuanyuan.”
Lin Yi stumbled after her. Others might not recognize her, but how could I not? she thought. I knew it was Chen Yuan at a glance, especially since the picture was so clear. So—
It suddenly hit her. “Oh my god! For an idol, dating is a death sentence!”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
So Lin Yi did remember that part!!!
The overwhelming discussions on the trending topics flooded Lin Yi’s vision once more. A dense wall of accusations and confusion crashed down on her, snapping her out of her emotional haze.
She unlocked her phone as she followed Xu Shuyan downstairs. WeChat messages were flooding in, but her pinned chat with Chen Yuan hadn’t been updated in days. In the small three-person group chat with Xu Shuyan and Sister Fang, Sister Fang was still tagging her: “Xiao Yi, do you know?”
Lin Yi replied: I don’t know.
She switched back to her main chat list. The pinned five-person group chat was deathly silent. The last message was from Zhou Shichen, sent the previous night after Lin Yi had shared a picture of their hot pot, jokingly accusing them of having a secret date behind the group’s back.
Twelve hours had passed without a single new message, a stark contrast to the uproar online.
The dorm was quiet, too. She and Xu Shuyan were both silently scrolling through their phones. The balcony door had been left open, and the river breeze made the curtains rustle loudly. Outside, the sky was ominously dark, filled with black clouds and the rumble of distant thunder, brewing an early summer storm.
#ChenYuanRelationship was still firmly at the top of the trending list.
The related tags followed close behind: #ChenYuanBoyfriend, #TheNotes, #Collapse, #Unstanning, #IdolDisqualification. Chen Yuan was popular, so naturally, the topic generated a huge amount of discussion.
[Chen Yuan, you’re so foolish. Did you get arrogant just because you landed a movie? Your career is just getting started!]
[Hasn’t anyone figured out who Chen Yuan’s boyfriend is yet? This generation of netizens is slacking!]
[Leave the group! Leave the group! Leave the group!]
[What? Chen Yuan might leave the group? Fantastic! I’ve been sick of her for ages! Time to start a retweet lottery!]
[Group stans and other members’ fans, don’t be jerks. Even if Chen Yuan’s career collapses, it’s not your place to point fingers. It would be better if she left the group. I’d be thrilled!]
[As a terrible person, I’m dying to know what her groupmates are thinking right now, haha. I love this kind of drama. Aren’t The Notes in the middle of a comeback? They have six concerts scheduled for the summer, and they’ve only filmed two episodes of their variety show. Surely it won’t all be canceled, right?]
[Okay, everyone, move along. Just yesterday, there was a rumor about a certain respected actor cheating on his wife. Today, Chen Yuan’s relationship is exposed. I think we all know who she’s taking the heat for, right?]
[It’s nine o’clock. Sweet Melon Entertainment should be in the office by now, right?]
The more Lin Yi read, the calmer she became. Xu Shuyan was right. The priority was to contact Chen Yuan. This wasn’t about their personal heartbreaks; it was a crisis that affected the entire group.
“What do you want to eat?” Xu Shuyan asked suddenly.
Lin Yi looked up blankly. After a moment, she slowly shook her head. “I don’t have an appetite. I don’t want to eat.”
Xu Shuyan looked at her. “You have to eat.”
She looked down, scrolling through a food delivery app. “I want pan-fried buns. If you don’t know what you want, I’ll just order a portion for you. What about a drink? Soy milk? Or would you prefer some congee?”
Lin Yi couldn’t win against her. “Whatever you want.”
While they waited for the food, Lin Yi set her phone aside and stared into space for a while before suddenly speaking. “Xu Shuyan.”
Xu Shuyan, who had also been spacing out, turned her head slightly. “Hm?”
Lin Yi asked, “Can you really eat right now?”
Xu Shuyan lowered her gaze. She had been bombarded with the news right after waking up and hadn’t even had time to wash up. Dressed in a white camisole nightgown, she had a certain pale beauty about her. She stared at her fingertips resting on her knees and gave a slight tug at the corner of her lips. “I think so.”
Looking at her, Lin Yi felt an inexplicable wave of pity. She thought, I’m such a terrible person. How could I question Xu Shuyan’s feelings for Yuanyuan? People dealt with sadness in different ways. Just because she, Lin Yi, cried when she was sad, did that mean everyone else had to?
Xu Shuyan wasn’t the type to cry anyway.
Could she really eat? Of course not. But when a piece of your heart has been gouged out, what can you do about the gaping void? Maybe eating nonstop is the only way to fill it…
Lin Yi covered her face, miserable. Xu Shuyan was so pitiful. And she was so pitiful, too! Sob!
Unaware that Lin Yi had just cast her in a tragic melodrama, Xu Shuyan’s heart skipped a beat when she saw her cover her face. She gently kicked Lin Yi’s leg. “You’re not crying again, are you?”
“Leave me alone!” Lin Yi was wallowing in her sorrow.
Xu Shuyan didn’t want to bother her, but the soft flesh of Lin Yi’s leg felt nice against her bare foot. She couldn’t resist resting it there and tapping it a couple of times. Before she could pull her foot back, an impatient Lin Yi grabbed her by the ankle.
Lin Yi looked up and glared at her. “I said, leave me alone!”
Xu Shuyan struggled. “…Let go.”
Lin Yi refused. “Promise you won’t kick me again.”
With her foot in Lin Yi’s hands, Xu Shuyan felt too embarrassed to make any promises. Lin Yi simply pulled her ankle into her lap. “No promise, then your foot stays here as a hostage!”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
What kind of ridiculous turn of events was this???
As they were locked in a stalemate, their phones, lying on the sofa, rang simultaneously. They exchanged a glance. “Hurry up and let go,” Xu Shuyan said. “It must be a new message.”
Lin Yi let her go.
Sure enough, the message was from Sister Fang: I just finished a video conference. Xiao Li and Xiao Hu both knew about this. I swear to god, how could they not tell me about something this huge???
Xiao Li was the group’s manager, and Xiao Hu was Chen Yuan’s.
Sister Fang added: What are you two doing? Can you take a video call? Let’s have a meeting.
The video call connected quickly. Sister Fang clearly hadn’t gotten much sleep; when she took off her glasses, there were dark circles under her eyes. The background suggested she was in a hotel. She rubbed her face and looked at Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi on the screen. “Have you processed everything yet?”
Xu Shuyan nodded. After a moment’s hesitation, Lin Yi nodded too.
She then asked, “If they all knew, is there a plan to handle it?”
Sister Fang said, “We discussed a few options. One: deny it to the death and just play dumb. Two: break up immediately and release a statement saying she’s currently single. Three: admit it, break up, but don’t leave the group. Four: admit it and leave the group.”
Lin Yi grew anxious. “Is it serious enough that she’d have to leave the group?”
“I know you two are close to her, but this is no joke.” Sister Fang was still fuming. “Exposing a relationship while your career is on the rise is suicide. And your group’s manager is a piece of work. Chen Yuan was dating before the group even formed, and she didn’t stop her? She just let her debut?”
“What?” Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi sat up straight, exclaiming in unison, “She was dating before the group was formed?”
Sister Fang was taken aback. “Okay, now I really believe you two knew nothing.”
She sighed. “Yes. She started dating her boyfriend in high school. They said he was a childhood friend who grew up in the same alley. Later, when Chen Yuan joined the company’s acting division, she couldn’t secure any resources and was basically shelved. You two know about that, right?”
Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi were still trying to process the bombshell that Chen Yuan had been in a relationship since before their debut. They were momentarily stunned.
Lin Yi felt like she must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe she was still dreaming. How else could something so absurd be happening?
Her teammate—the one she’d spent every day with for three years, the one she’d had a crush on for three years—had been hiding a relationship from everyone this entire time?
“I know,” Xu Shuyan said, recovering first. “Later, the young boss wanted to form a girl group, and since she wasn’t doing anything, he brought her over. Did she not mention she had a boyfriend then?”
“She did,” Sister Fang said, her voice laced with anger. “But it was no use. You know the young boss’s temper. He couldn’t find anyone for his girl group at the time and was taking it out on everybody.”
“So Xiao Li told Yuanyuan that since her boyfriend was a non-celebrity and they’d kept their relationship a secret when they were younger, not many people knew. They should just keep hiding it.”
Lin Yi murmured, “For Yuanyuan back then, she had no other choice.”
“Exactly.” Sister Fang put down her glass. “For Chen Yuan at that time, it was an opportunity. She wasn’t in a position to refuse.”
“But for your group, it was a ticking time bomb. And now it’s finally gone off. Xiao Li and Xiao Hu might have been prepared, but I’m the one who’s been blown to smithereens!”
Seeing that Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi weren’t speaking, Sister Fang sighed. “I know you’re upset, but you have to carry on with work as usual. A lot of people are waiting to laugh at our group. Don’t give them the satisfaction!”
“Shichen and the Captain…” Lin Yi couldn’t help but ask.
“They’re filming a show abroad right now. Besides the time difference, their phone access is limited, so they don’t know yet. You can all have a meeting after they get back.”
Lin Yi nodded slowly.
Sister Fang glanced at the time. “Alright, get ready and head to the company. I have another meeting to get to. Don’t be down. Perk up. You’re idols! You have fans waiting for you! Come on, give the camera a smile.”
Lin Yi was speechless. She couldn’t smile.
She glanced at Xu Shuyan, who was staring blankly at the camera before slowly forcing the fakest smile imaginable. The sight made Lin Yi burst out laughing.
Xu Shuyan was not pleased. “Are you laughing at me?”
Lin Yi quickly composed herself. “No! Sister Fang told me to smile, so I did.”
Of course, Xu Shuyan didn’t believe her. “You laughed because you were looking at me.”
Feeling guilty, Lin Yi blinked and edged away from Xu Shuyan.
Sister Fang smoothed things over. “Xiao Yi just can’t help but smile when she sees you! By the way,” she added, “wear matching outfits to work today. Give the fans some sweet content; it’ll help distract them.”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
Lin Yi was speechless.
What fresh hell was this? Having to do fan service with your love rival right after you both got your hearts broken!
Xu Shuyan and Lin Yi left for the company at ten o’clock. Just when everyone assumed they wouldn’t show up, their car pulled up to the entrance. The two of them, wearing matching limited-edition Valentine’s Day white T-shirts from a top luxury brand, stepped out one after the other. The moment was captured by fansite cameras and quickly spread online.
[Yan Zhi You Yi are wearing matching outfits??? Don’t tell me they’re going to come out during all this chaos?]
[Honestly, if those two came out, no one would care about Chen Yuan anymore. @Sweet Melon Entertainment, take notes. Just have Yan Zhi You Yi go public now, and I couldn’t care less if Chen Yuan is dating!]
[Yan Zhi You Yi seem to be in good spirits. They even smiled for the cameras.]
[That’s professionalism for you. No matter what happens, an idol can’t look upset in front of the fans. But Lin Yi’s eyes look red. I think she’s been crying.]
[Oh my god, my precious daughter, let mama hug you. Don’t cry over someone who isn’t worth it.]
[These toxic solo stans are too much. Chen Yuan messed up as an idol, fine. But are you saying Lin Yi has no feelings for her after three years together? What kind of cold-blooded person do you think your ‘daughter’ is?]
…
The rain began to fall in the afternoon.
After a full day of muggy heat, a downpour drenched the city, chilling it to the core. Amid flashes of lightning and claps of thunder, the rain came down in sheets. The lights were on in the practice room, where the beat of the music reverberated off the walls and sneakers squeaked against the floor.
Lin Yi and Xu Shuyan couldn’t get into the right mindset for their acting class. The teacher, understanding the situation, just went over theory before letting them go early.
With nothing else to do and no desire to rest, they decided to practice instead.
Sweat flew through the air as they moved in perfect sync. During a change in formation, their eyes met and their hands brushed as they passed each other, their bodies hitting every beat. They danced through the entire song, a cathartic release.
When the music stopped, only the sound of the torrential rain remained. Lin Yi grabbed a bottle of water and walked to the window, gazing out at the downpour and the giant support screen across the street that featured the five of them. In her peripheral vision, she saw Xu Shuyan collapsed on the floor. “You shouldn’t lie down right after exercising,” she reminded her.
Xu Shuyan stared at the ceiling lights until her vision blurred. She closed her eyes and said lazily, “Can’t get up.”
The videographer had tactfully left after filming their dance, leaving the two of them alone in the vast practice room. Xu Shuyan listened to her heart pound from the exertion. After it settled a bit, she asked, “Has Yuanyuan messaged back?”
Lin Yi froze for a second before grabbing her phone. Her eyes lit up. “Yuanyuan just posted in the group chat.”
Xu Shuyan sat up, looking for her own phone. “What did she say?”
“She said,” Lin Yi’s nose tingled, “she said she’ll handle it, and that while she hopes it won’t affect us, she knows it will, so she’s really sorry. She said… she’ll minimize the damage, and that she has more to say in person when she gets back.”
Xu Shuyan stopped looking for her phone. She stood up, walked slowly over to Lin Yi, and patted her on the cheek. “Stop crying. You’re ruining your makeup.”
Lin Yi sniffled. “I- I can’t help it.”
She wiped her face and asked Xu Shuyan, her eyes red, “Do I look awful right now? My eyeliner must be a mess. I should find the makeup artist later for a touch-up.”
Xu Shuyan hummed absently. They had left the window open to cool down, and the wind was now blowing large raindrops inside. They splattered against Lin Yi’s shirt, soaking a patch on her shoulder and sliding down the small, full curve of her chest.
She averted her gaze. “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
“What?” Lin Yi was still fixated on her ruined makeup, though she figured no one would notice in such heavy rain, especially with a mask and an umbrella. She asked again, “What’s uncomfortable?”
Xu Shuyan reached over and closed the window, her finger poking the damp spot on Lin Yi’s shirt. It was soft. She quickly pulled her finger back. “You’re wet.”
It took Lin Yi a moment to realize what she meant, and her face instantly flushed red. “You could have just said so! Why did you have to poke me?!”
Xu Shuyan shot back, “I was just trying to be nice. Don’t be so ungrateful! I’d rather touch my own anyway. They’re bigger and softer!”
“Xu Shuyan!” Lin Yi was so incensed she was no longer blushing. “You told me I was really soft before!”
Xu Shuyan was speechless. Could you be any more competitive?!
Just as Sister Fang had said, life had to go on, even if the sky was falling. Lin Yi and Xu Shuyan left work at their usual time. On the way home, Lin Yi couldn’t resist scrolling through Weibo again.
Chen Yuan’s comment section was in complete chaos, a mix of angry curses and heartbroken cries.
Here and there, a few trolls chimed in to berate the remaining fans: You’re still not unstanning after this?!
The people who had been demanding she leave the group that morning were no longer satisfied. They viciously attacked Chen Yuan for being irresponsible, saying she should atone for dating with her life. Leaving the group was nothing, they said; if she had any guts, she’d leave the industry entirely!
Lin Yi couldn’t stop herself from arguing back, only to be told: “You biased Xu Shuyan shipper, mind your own business and get lost!”
Lin Yi was speechless with anger. “Yesterday I was my own toxic solo stan, and today I’m your shipper?”
Xu Shuyan calmly scrolled through the follow list on Lin Yi’s alternate account. “Maybe it’s because you follow all of my CP Super Topics?”
“I only do that to see how you act with other people, to check if you’re cheating on me, okay? …But all your other ships are so dead. It’s hard to find any content for them.”
Xu Shuyan gave a dry laugh. “What can I say? I love you the most.”
Lin Yi shivered with goosebumps. “Stop being disgusting!”
“By the way,” Xu Shuyan said, watching the heavy rain pelt down in the glow of the headlights, “Shichen and the Captain are coming back tomorrow. You shouldn’t sleep in their room tonight.”
Lin Yi said, “…Okay.”
Maybe it was because she hadn’t slept in her own bed for so long, or maybe it was because she had too much on her mind, but after the lights went out, Lin Yi tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Her thoughts were a tangled mess. One moment, she was thinking about Chen Yuan dating her non-celebrity boyfriend in high school; the next, she was picturing the kissing GIF that had spread all over the internet. A dull ache throbbed in her heart.
I’m heartbroken, she thought. My first time experiencing a loss before I even had a relationship. So this is what it feels like.
But—
She propped herself up on her elbows, using the faint light from the window to look at Xu Shuyan in the other bed. We’re both heartbroken, so how can she be asleep? she wondered. Isn’t she sad? Everyone puts on a brave face during the day, but surely even Xu Shuyan secretly cries at night?
“Xu Shuyan. Xu Shuyan,” Lin Yi whispered. “Xu Shuyan!”
Xu Shuyan’s eyelashes fluttered. She opened her eyes, but they hadn’t yet adjusted to the darkness, and she couldn’t find Lin Yi’s gaze. She closed them again and said with weary resignation, “Can’t sleep?”
Her voice was slightly hoarse and tinged with impatience.
Lin Yi sounded aggrieved. “I can’t sleep.”
She propped her chin on her hands. “I’m heartbroken, and now I have insomnia. On this cold night, I’m so lonely and sad, I just want to cry.”
Xu Shuyan was speechless.
Lin Yi whined, “Please talk to me for a little while.”
Xu Shuyan remained silent. Just when Lin Yi thought she had fallen asleep again, Xu Shuyan suddenly lifted the edge of her blanket. “Do you want to come sleep with me?”
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