Lin Yi couldn’t sleep.
The day had been too full. Her body was exhausted, and her eyes were so tired she could barely keep them open, yet her nerves were buzzing with excitement. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was Xu Shuyan’s gaze on her, making her heart tremble. Finally, she helplessly opened her eyes, accepting the fact that she had insomnia.
She got out of bed barefoot. The rug was perfectly warm from the underfloor heating, and the warm air was gentle. The motorized curtains slowly opened, and only then did she realize it was snowing again outside.
Amidst the whistling wind, snow fell thick and fast like goose feathers.
Lin Yi sat on the sofa by the window, staring blankly at the snow outside, when she suddenly remembered a time it snowed in S City one year.
It rarely snowed in S City, so every snowfall, even a light one mixed with rain, was extremely precious. That year, it snowed a bit heavier than usual. The five of them were preparing for a new stage performance, practicing intensely. Despite the raw cold, they danced until they were drenched in sweat. In the middle of their practice, Zhou Shichen suddenly shouted, “Hey, it’s snowing!”
Everyone looked outside, a mix of surprise and joy on their faces. “Wow! It’s really snowing! And it’s coming down pretty hard!”
“Let’s have a snowball fight after practice!” Lin Yi suggested excitedly, leaning on the window frame. She looked out through the misty glass at the bustling night view of S City, now shrouded in swirling snow, the neon lights blooming within it.
“This little bit of snow?” Xu Shuyan, as usual, poured cold water on her idea. “Can you even have a proper fight with this?”
Lin Yi retorted sarcastically, “Don’t worry. If I’m hitting you, I don’t even need snow.”
Xu Shuyan let out an exaggerated “Ha!” “You admit it, Lin Yi! You just want to hit me! In front of the fans, it’s all ‘deep sisterly bond,’ but behind their backs, this is how you are, huh?”
Lin Yi smiled. “The feeling’s mutual.”
Yan Qi reminded them, “We’re filming daily life content.”
Lin Yi: “!”
Xu Shuyan: “!”
They whipped their heads around to look at the staff member holding the camera, shouting in unison, “You’re not allowed to air this part.” Then they glared at each other. “Stop copying me!”
“Still copying?”
“Still copying?”
“Again?”
“Again?”
“…”
“…”
Chen Yuan, amused by the two of them, was smiling so much her eyes curved. “Yanyan and Xiao Yi have such great chemistry.”
Lin Yi huffed. “We do not.”
Xu Shuyan also huffed. “Not at all.”
They glared at each other again, sparks still flying between them with a crackle.
As the youngest in the group, Lin Yi was a natural at acting cute without any inhibitions. She grabbed Zhou Shichen’s arm and started, “Let’s go have a snowball fight, please, please~~~”
Zhou Shichen said, “The Captain and I made plans to get hot pot after practice, and Yuanyuan isn’t feeling well. Why don’t you and Yanyan go?”
“I’m not having a snowball fight with her!” Xu Shuyan refused. “She’s a sore loser. She cheats, and when she loses, she throws a fit. I’d probably end up having to treat her to hot pot.”
Lin Yi stamped her foot. “Stop slandering me! When have I ever tricked you?!”
Xu Shuyan: “When have you not tricked me?”
This kind of bickering never had a winner, but the two of them just had to argue, had to compete. They even bickered while dancing without hindering their practice. By the time they finished, not only had the snow not stopped, but it was coming down even harder.
Yan Qi grabbed her jacket and asked them, “Do you want to come get hot pot with us?”
Lin Yi was stubborn. “I want to go play in the snow!”
Yan Qi said, “Getting hot pot won’t stop you from playing in the snow.”
“It will,” Lin Yi said seriously. “The snow might be gone by the time we finish eating!”
Yan Qi thought for a moment and agreed that was possible. She then asked Xu Shuyan, who said she was afraid of the cold and couldn’t be bothered to go out. Besides, there had been a lot of sasaengs recently, and it would be even more annoying to be followed, so she wouldn’t go.
Zhou Shichen said meaningfully, “If you want to have a snowball fight with Xiao Yi, just say so!”
Xu Shuyan said indignantly, “Who wants to have a snowball fight with her?!”
“Actually, I can have a snowball fight, too,” Chen Yuan said, taking a sip of hot water. “It’ll be good exercise.”
Lin Yi’s eyes lit up.
But Xu Shuyan suddenly cut in. “Yuanyuan, you should go get hot pot and warm up. Leave a chore like accompanying the youngest for a snowball fight to me.”
Chen Yuan: “Ah… okay then.”
Lin Yi: “???”
Zhou Shichen clapped her hands. “I knew it! Yanyan wanted to have a snowball fight with Xiao Yi. No need to be so roundabout!”
Xu Shuyan: “…Yeah, yeah.”
Lin Yi: “……?”
She remembered- Lin Yi slowly pulled her gaze back from the swirling snow, her thoughts returning to the present. She remembered that Xu Shuyan had indeed had a snowball fight with her that night. She had even posted about it on Weibo.
Following that memory, she searched Weibo for the keyword “snow” and, sure enough, there was a post.
@Thenotes-Lin Yi: I won the snowball fight, so I get oden as a reward! @Thenotes-Xu Shuyan is paying, hehehe =3=
The accompanying picture was a photo of them together. She and Xu Shuyan were in down jackets, each holding a snowball. Their faces were flushed red from the cold, their eyes sparkling. They were looking up at the camera with silly grins, but there was a special kind of warmth to it, enough to make CP fans go crazy. Even a casual passerby who wasn’t into shipping could get a little taste.
[I heard that people who watch the first snow together will grow old together. Please grow old together, Yan Zhi You Yi!]
[So cute, so pretty, so in love, my two beautiful babies]
[I’m going crazy shipping them. I command Sweet Melon Entertainment to immediately release a ‘Winter Sonata’ themed photoshoot for Yan Zhi You Yi. I need it, I really need it!]
…If she remembered correctly, the moment after the photo was taken, she and Xu Shuyan had simultaneously smashed the snow in their hands into each other’s faces.
Lin Yi touched her forehead.
She exited Weibo and only then noticed a message from Fang Yi. It was a link to a post. She clicked on it, and her eyes widened as she read. “Xu Shuyan and I were photographed???”
Fang Yi replied: “I thought you were asleep.”
“No.” Lin Yi switched screens. “That’s definitely me and Xu Shuyan. Oh my god, we were bundled up like that and fans could still recognize us? What do we do now? The fans aren’t going to think we ‘un-shipped’ to avoid suspicion just so we could date in secret, are they?”
Fang Yi replied with an “Mm,” followed by a series of ellipses. “I used to arrange one car for you two, and you’d go your separate ways as soon as you were off-camera. What’s going on now? I arrange two cars, and you two still manage to end up together?”
“…” Lin Yi explained, “It was a coincidence, a coincidence.”
“Who are you trying to fool?”
“Why don’t you believe me?”
“Yanyan already told me everything,” Fang Yi said. “She said you two wanted to relax and get some air, and didn’t expect to be photographed. But the picture isn’t very clear, so it’ll be easy to clear up.”
Lin Yi asked, “How do we clear it up?”
Fang Yi asked her back, “Do you not read your group members’ Weibo posts?”
Lin Yi: “Huh?”
Fang Yi sent her a screenshot. It was of a Weibo post Xu Shuyan had made half an hour ago, asking fans if they had seen today’s performance. She said she had been sleeping ever since she got back from the gala. It was accompanied by a selfie of her in a bathrobe, lying on her stomach on the bed, winking at the camera. It was sickeningly sweet.
[Wife, wife, wife, so beautiful!]
[LOL, CP fans, stop spreading rumors. My wife was supposed to be sleeping soundly until her flight to LA tomorrow morning, but she got woken up by her manager to post on Weibo and debunk the rumors…! Xu Shuyan: I did not go out with my group member, ha!]
[But, they look so much alike! If there’s another couple in the world who looks just like Yan Zhi You Yi, I can die with no regrets.]
[You understand what a parallel universe is.]
[So the going-out thing was debunked? Fine… I’ll immediately continue uploading my ‘The Truth is Fake’ edit and pull an all-nighter to edit ‘Hard to Let Go’: You revisited an old place to celebrate an anniversary, writing a script / The real story only happened in your imagination…]
[Fine, I’ll go back to being dead.]
[Ahhhhhhh! How could this happen! Yan Zhi You Yi! I’ve downloaded the national anti-fraud app!]
Lin Yi: “…”
She asked Fang Yi, “Everyone doesn’t actually believe it, do they?”
Fang Yi said, “I don’t know. Probably. After all, the photo isn’t very clear. The solo fans are debunking it aggressively, and the CP fans will be half-convinced, half-skeptical. After all, shipping something fake is more embarrassing than having nothing to ship at all.”
“Okay,” Lin Yi said. “Sorry to trouble you.”
“Don’t say that. You and Yanyan are the artists I’ve managed who give me the least to worry about. A little marketing trick like this is nothing.” Fang Yi’s words popped up one after another, with the main point at the end: “I also hope that during these days apart, you two can think things through clearly and cool down.”
“Although I’ve never managed a group before, I’ve seen cases in the entertainment industry of fake acting turning real, of feelings developing because of a role. It’s very normal. But can that kind of feeling really last? Did you fall for her in those moments of fan service, or for the person she is in private?”
“I understand that when you’re doing fan service, you might vaguely feel like you like the other person, that they really love you. But once you strip away the packaging of fan service, and think about it carefully? Was that momentary flutter of your heart real? Or was it just an illusion created by the atmosphere and the fans’ excitement?”
Lin Yi read it word by word, sentence by sentence. After reading it once, she started over from the beginning, breaking down each character to analyze it.
The dense text before her dismembered, scattered, and reformed into neat strokes, every inch plastered with evidence of her and Xu Shuyan’s love on camera.
Whispers, touches, holding hands, hugs.
On stage, during games, on the red carpet, in the practice room.
Shared glances, pinching cheeks, arms around waists, almost-kisses.
At the company, in the dorm, during livestreams, on the way to and from work.
Scene by scene, frame by frame, in their lingering gazes, in their shared smiles, in the distance between their fingertips, in the letters written to their group members where hers was always the special one.
It seemed like she and Xu Shuyan were in love.
But Fang Yi was wrong.
In her heart, Lin Yi disagreed with what Fang Yi said, but her fingertips typed out an “Okay” and sent it, ending the conversation. She placed her phone on the table and looked out the window.
The snow was falling even harder now, diffusing into a continuous fog. The light from the streetlamps, hidden beyond the snow and fog, made the falling flakes stand out even more clearly.
Fang Yi is wrong, Lin Yi thought.
Fang Yi didn’t know that Chen Yuan had once stood between her and Xu Shuyan. Because of that, they had always been clear-headed during their fan service.
They knew that even if the other’s gaze was full of affection, their hearts didn’t feel the same way. Even if there was a fleeting moment of dazed desire to kiss, they would quickly snap out of it.
At least, that was how it was for her.
So when she finally understood the reason for her blushing and racing heart, she started to panic. That was how it was for her, but what about Xu Shuyan? When did Xu Shuyan start to like her? Was it during their fan service? If so, was that flutter in her heart just an illusion?
She didn’t know, and she didn’t want to ask Xu Shuyan for confirmation.
Because she didn’t know what kind of answer she wanted.
What if it was an illusion? What if it was real? For now, she just wanted to be a coward and postpone finding out for as long as possible.
Lin Yi sighed internally. She pressed the button for the curtains and, as they slowly closed, threw herself onto the bed. She pulled the blanket over herself, rolling up into a burrito, and told the AI to turn off the lights.
The entire room fell into darkness. The air grew quiet. Even the sound of the wind stopped, leaving only the soft rustle of the falling snow.
The snow fell all night. By dawn, the entire city was draped in silver, a vast expanse of white. Only the sanitation workers and staff from various units were out, energetically clearing the snow. The cleaned roads were soon covered again with a thin layer of snowflakes.
In the empty residential complex, an early-rising owner was walking their dog, leaving two sets of footprints trailing across the untouched snow.
The swirling snow blew into Lin Yi’s dream. She was back in the snow with just Xu Shuyan that year. They had fought until they were tired and were now leaning against the rooftop railing to rest.
They hadn’t done anything.
Lin Yi’s soul entered her body from that time. Her heart was pounding wildly after the intense activity. As it calmed, she watched the dark, oppressive clouds, watching the snowflakes drift down one by one.
She remembered that she and Xu Shuyan hadn’t done anything back then. After resting, they had gone downstairs and headed home. But somewhere, something had gone wrong. She watched the sky for a while, then suddenly turned her head and naturally met Xu Shuyan’s approaching lips in a kiss.
Their cool lips grew warm and wet as they exchanged saliva. The breath from the tip of her tongue secreted hormones. Xu Shuyan cupped her face with one hand, kissing her deeper, harder, making soft, wet sounds that made one’s face flush and heart race.
Snow fell between them, cool and gentle, swallowed and exchanged, until it was impossible to tell whose mouth it ended up in.
So comfortable.
Kissing is so comfortable.
In that infinite closeness, she could hear Xu Shuyan’s heartbeat, as if amplified right next to her ear, seducing her, teasing her. Even when they were tired from kissing, she didn’t let go, her tongue tracing lightly, flirting with an almost-there touch.
Xu Shuyan suddenly let out a low laugh. Her nose pressed against Lin Yi’s, nuzzling it slightly. Her voice was muffled. “I knew it. You like me.”
Those words woke the dreamer. Lin Yi’s eyes flew open.
The blanket she had wrapped herself in the night before had been kicked to the floor at some point. Even so, in the heated room, Lin Yi was covered in sweat.
She stared blankly at the ceiling, raising a hand to touch her dry lips. Her tongue darted out, leaving a sheen of moisture. It took her a long while to realize someone was ringing the doorbell—patiently, unhurriedly, waiting for her to open the door.
…Who was it?
Lin Yi fumbled for her phone under the pillow and checked the time. A WeChat notification from five minutes ago was from Xu Shuyan: I’m leaving.
Leaving?
Oh, right. Xu Shuyan’s flight to LA was at 8:30 this morning. But with this kind of weather, could the plane still take off on time? If it couldn’t, would Xu Shuyan go back to S City with her?
The doorbell was still ringing.
Half of Lin Yi’s consciousness was still lingering in the dream. Her licked lips felt even drier, as if savoring the memory of that wet, passionate kiss. The memory stalled midway. She shot up in bed, her voice hoarse. “Who is it?”
The moment the words left her mouth, she knew who it was.
Who else could it be but Xu Shuyan? But she just wanted to ask, and even feigned a bit of surprise when she opened the door, so Xu Shuyan wouldn’t see that she’d been thinking about her. And then, Xu Shuyan gave her an even bigger surprise.
Xu Shuyan hugged her.
Xu Shuyan was wearing a down jacket. Her fluffy scarf brushed against Lin Yi’s bare neck, tickling her. She couldn’t help but flinch, but Xu Shuyan thought she was trying to pull away and held her even tighter. “Don’t go.”
“I…” Lin Yi’s voice softened, then rose again. “I’m not trying to go.”
Xu Shuyan was the one who was leaving.
“I’m going to miss you.” Xu Shuyan turned her head, her lips brushing against the pale skin of Lin Yi’s nape. Her warm breath ghosted over it, her voice seeming to physically drill into her ear. “Starting right now. Will you miss me?”
Lin Yi opened her mouth, wanting to answer.
I will, but could she say that? If she said it, where would her relationship with Xu Shuyan go? Was it worth taking this step? If she-
Before she could finish her thought, she heard Xu Shuyan say, “You don’t have to answer.”
Lin Yi obediently closed her mouth, thinking evasively, Xu Shuyan told me not to answer, so I’ll just pretend the question never existed. Whether I’ll miss her or not… that’s an answer I can only find after she’s gone.
Xu Shuyan gently patted the back of her head and let her go, her tone deliberately light. “Well, I’m off then?”
Lin Yi still seemed half-asleep, staring at her blankly. She must not have slept well; the collar of her pajamas was open, just barely revealing the alluring scenery below her collarbone, making one’s eyes burn. Xu Shuyan pressed her lips together, pushed her back into the room a little, out of the range of the hallway security camera, and then leaned in closer. “I said, I’m leaving?”
“Oh.” Lin Yi instinctively leaned back and pushed her. “Then go.”
Disappointment flickered in Xu Shuyan’s heart, but she didn’t let it show on her face. She turned to leave, but her sleeve was gently tugged. It felt like a tug on her heart, and endless hope suddenly bloomed. She turned back. “What is it?”
Lin Yi frowned at her.
Lin Yi was cute. As the group’s youngest, everyone doted on her whenever they could-except for Xu Shuyan, who loved to tease her. But even when she teased her, she knew full well how cute Lin Yi was.
Just like now, her pretty little face was scrunched up, as if she were very annoyed, but because her brain hadn’t fully woken up yet, she was a bit slow, slowly trying to figure out why she was annoyed.
Watching her, Xu Shuyan started to smile. Using the time her assistant had given her, she patiently asked Lin Yi, “What’s wrong?”
Lin Yi was like a doll in a puppet house. After being prompted, color returned to her eyes. She finally seemed to come to her senses, rubbing the back of her own head and saying indignantly, “Don’t think you can just pat the back of my head whenever you want just because you like me now!”
Xu Shuyan: “…?”
Before she could react, she was pushed out the door, and the door was slammed shut with a bang. She stood there, stunned, while on the other side, Lin Yi leaned against the door and patted her own cheeks.
I’m gonna die. My heart’s going to explode this early in the morning.
This is so unfair!
After Xu Shuyan left, Lin Yi had wanted to go back to sleep, but she tossed and turned and couldn’t. Finally, she resigned herself to it, took out her phone, opened her side Weibo account, and checked to see if the heavy snow would affect any flights.
What if it was canceled?
It wasn’t that she was hoping Xu Shuyan wouldn’t leave. She just felt that if the flight was canceled, then everything Xu Shuyan had said before-that she would miss her, and asking if she would miss her back-would have been so unnecessary.
They might even end up going back to S City together!
She cheered up at the thought. Then she refreshed her feed, and the first thing that popped up was a post from Xu Shuyan’s solo fansite: Taking off! Have a safe flight! See you in LA~ [Image][Image][Image]
It was the same down jacket Xu Shuyan had been wearing when she came to see her today, the one that had been pressed against her body.
Lin Yi casually commented, “Have a safe flight,” but felt it was all rather boring. She flopped onto the bed and listened to the AI play the morning news. The snow was heavy, but not enough to shut down the city. Xu Shuyan’s flight had taken off on time, but there were widespread delays due to either the snow or air traffic control.
When breakfast was delivered, her assistant arrived as well. The young woman had gotten up early to play in the snow, and her face was flushed red from the cold. She was full of excitement. “Teacher Lin, the snow up north is so much fun! Do you want to go play after you finish breakfast?”
“I don’t want to,” Lin Yi said, unenthusiastically. “It’s cold outside, isn’t it?”
“It is pretty cold,” the assistant said. “It would be great if Teacher Xu were here. If she were here, you’d definitely want to go out and play.”
Lin Yi was taken aback. “What does whether I go out or not have to do with her? I’ll go out if I want to! I won’t go out if I don’t want to! She can’t control me!”
The assistant hadn’t expected such a strong reaction. She let out a small “ah.” “I just meant you’d have someone to play with.”
Lin Yi: “…Oh.”
The assistant asked cautiously, “Did Teacher Xu make you angry?”
Lin Yi: “No!”
Assistant: “Then you…?”
Lin Yi finished her sentence: “I seem agitated?”
Assistant: “Mm…”
Lin Yi gave a dry laugh. “It’s just your imagination! I’m just… hungry. Aren’t I always like this when I’m hungry? Xu Shuyan didn’t make me angry. Why would she make me angry?”
-Xu Shuyan was no longer the Xu Shuyan who only made her angry. The Xu Shuyan now was one who only made her blush, her heart race, and her mind a mess.
“By the way,” the assistant said, “because of air traffic control, our flight back to S City has been canceled. We’re taking the high-speed rail back instead.”
Lin Yi nodded while sipping her congee. “Okay.”
The cold in the south was a damp cold. Not a single snowflake was seen, but the rain was incessant, falling on and off for nearly ten days without stopping.
After returning to S City, Lin Yi was busy every day preparing songs for the new album-listening to demos, buying songs, producing, learning to sing them, recording, mixing, and finally handing them over to post-production to listen to the samples. Every day was full. Time passed quickly, yet also slowly.
Lin Yi came back from the company early that day. Zhou Shichen had joined a film crew, and Yan Qi was filming a variety show. The dorm was empty, filled with a loneliness that even the warm air couldn’t dispel. Lin Yi hung her bag on the coat rack, sat on her bed, and began to seriously consider the possibility of getting a pet for the dorm.
And she posted in the group chat to ask for opinions.
Zhou Shichen replied the fastest: Let’s get a cat! A cat! Cats are so cute, and you don’t have to worry about them!
Yan Qi replied: A dog would be nice too
Zhou Shichen: Do you have time to walk it?
Yan Qi: No
Zhou Shichen: …
Zhou Shichen: Let’s get a cat
Zhou Shichen: What do you think, Xiao Yi?
Lin Yi: I think
Lin Yi: one Papillon in the house is enough
Zhou Shichen: Who? Where’s the Papillon?
Lin Yi: Let’s get a cat
Zhou Shichen: Yay! A cat!
Yan Qi: @Xu Shuyan
Lin Yi: Captain!!!
Yan Qi: You’re welcome
Lin Yi: …
She felt anxious for a moment, then suddenly realized it was the middle of the night where Xu Shuyan was. She must be sleeping. Lin Yi let out a small sigh of relief, then opened their private chat window to look at the messages Xu Shuyan had sent her.
They were all trivial, everyday things-what she ate, what songs she sang, what scenery she saw. It should have been boring, but Lin Yi read it all with great interest.
At the end, Xu Shuyan asked her: I miss you a lot, you know. What about you?
What about her?
As if possessed, Lin Yi typed, one sound at a time, “Me too” appearing in the chat box. She hit send. Only after it was successfully sent did she come to her senses. She managed to unsend it within the two-minute window, her heart still pounding as she exited the chat.
Good, good, Xu Shuyan didn’t see it.
Good-
Suddenly, her phone pinged.
Normal Teammate: What did you unsend?
Lin Yi: “!!!”
Lin Yi: Nothing
Lin Yi: It’s the middle of the night for you!
Lin Yi: Go to sleep!
Normal Teammate: ?
Ahhhhh!
Lin Yi rolled around on her bed. It wasn’t enough, so she rolled again, then lay on her stomach, blushing, and tapped open Xu Shuyan’s profile. She changed the contact name to: AAA Xu Shuyan
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