@ScamperingHedgehogInTheMelonPatch: The Notes’ group variety show is filming today. It’s at the dorm, no spots available.
[Then what was the point of telling us!!!]
[If they don’t film soon, there won’t be any material… uh, even though they’ve only aired two episodes.]
[This is the last of the content with all five of them. I want to watch it frame by frame. Who gets it? I’m asking, who gets it?]
[No one understands better than the Yan Zhi You Yi CP fans. Back then, Yan Zhi You Yi was so sweet, they were seriously fan-servicing, working hard, and focused on their romance. Now… were those beautiful days even real?]
[But what can they even film in the dorm? Can we see the members of The Notes sleeping in the same bed and being all lovey-dovey? They should just lie down in order of age, what do you guys think?]
[I wholeheartedly support this…]
[Inside info, this episode was planned by Xu Shuyan. I think it has something to do with kids.]
[Now I’m really looking forward to it!]
[The Captain planned an episode with the theme “Let’s Fall in Love,” Shichen planned “Wife’s Romantic Getaway,” and Chen Yuan planned “Let’s Go on a Date.” So when it gets to Xu Shuyan, it becomes “Married Life”???]
[I support our youngest member planning the wedding for Yan Zhi You Yi and Qi Shi! I’ll really have to thank you for that…]
The gossip about the variety show had been released by the company to generate buzz for the sponsors and to serve as indirect promotion for the upcoming third episode.
“So we’re really taking care of a kid?” Lin Yi sat on a chair on the balcony, letting the makeup artist do her makeup while she scrolled through Weibo. She had gotten the scoop on her own variety show half an hour early. She asked Xu Shuyan, “What were you thinking?”
Xu Shuyan, her makeup already done, sat across from her eating breakfast. She took a bite of her hamburger and said, “Of course, I have my own benevolent intentions, you know.”
Lin Yi narrowed her eyes slightly. “Oh? What’s that?”
The cameraman saw that their interaction was unstoppable and figured he shouldn’t waste time filming unusable footage. He simply turned off his camera and went to film Yan Qi and Zhou Shichen. Once the cameraman was gone, Xu Shuyan finally said, “The kid is only three or four, well-behaved and cute. Most importantly, they’re easy to fool. It’s a chance to show off our patience and intellectual superiority.”
Lin Yi: “…The last part is the real point, isn’t it?”
Xu Shuyan argued, “That’s not what I was thinking at all! Don’t slander me!”
Watching her animated expression, Lin Yi found it truly strange. Back when she couldn’t stand Xu Shuyan, she could have picked out seven or eight faults with this plan, attacking and belittling Xu Shuyan from every possible angle.
But now that Xu Shuyan was her girlfriend, the more she thought about the plan, the more interesting it seemed. She even felt like telling the company to give Xu Shuyan a bonus right now.
…Was this a filter?
Xu Shuyan’s words from yesterday, when she had pinned her to the sofa and said, “Be careful, don’t fall too in love with me,” were still ringing in her ears. Now, her filter was eight hundred layers thick. This… She was suddenly horrified. She couldn’t fall into Xu Shuyan’s trap. She couldn’t love her too much!
“What are you thinking about?” Xu Shuyan snapped her fingers lightly in front of her face.
Lin Yi came back to her senses, blinked, and instinctively denied it. “Nothing…” After a pause, she added, “I was wondering what we’d do if a child prodigy showed up and completely outsmarted all of us.”
“Impossible!” Xu Shuyan said smugly.
She crossed her legs. “You think I’d go into a battle unprepared? The little girl is from Teacher Zheng Chuyin’s family. You’ve seen her before—she’s adorable and a little dazed-looking, very gullible.”
“Ah,” Lin Yi said. “You’ve got some connections! You even managed to invite the daughter of the famous actress, Zheng Chuyin?”
Xu Shuyan took a sip of water, glanced to the side, and lowered her voice. “Last month, I went downstairs for a morning run and happened to run into Teacher Zheng exercising with the little girl. The music they were playing was from our group. Teacher Zheng said the little girl loves our songs, so I chatted with her for a bit.”
“And then you came up with the babysitting plan?” Lin Yi asked.
The makeup brush swept across her face, its fine, dense bristles tickling her. With the final step complete, the makeup artist said, “Teacher Lin, you’re all set.”
Lin Yi nodded. “Thank you for your hard work. Breakfast is on the table.”
After the makeup artist left to eat, Xu Shuyan continued, “It was Teacher Zheng who said she’s been watching our variety show recently. She said she loves watching us girls fool around and play games together, and then she asked me why I hadn’t thought of doing a babysitting episode. She thought it would be hilarious to see us taking care of a kid together.”
“Well, I’ll be,” Lin Yi said, tearing off a piece of bread. “So she basically served herself up on a platter?”
Xu Shuyan rested her chin on her hand and looked at her, as if seeking praise. “Aren’t I amazing?”
Lin Yi let out a long “Mmm.” “A little less amazing than me.”
Xu Shuyan was unconvinced. “What’s your plan?”
Lin Yi: “Uh, I don’t have one yet.”
“You don’t have one, yet you’re already claiming to be better than me?” Xu Shuyan tapped the table lightly. “You’re not actually thinking of copying the fans’ homework and planning our wedding, are you? Lin Yi, don’t get in too deep!”
“Get lost!” Lin Yi said, flustered and annoyed. “Is that how you talk to your… your…?”
Xu Shuyan deliberately pressed her. “Your what? Say it clearly.”
Lin Yi turned her face away. “I won’t! Figure it out yourself!”
Xu Shuyan reached across the table to tug on her sleeve, whispering and coaxing in a small voice, “I can’t figure it out. Just tell me. Your what? My teammate? My roommate? My ordinary colleague? What is it!”
“I… You… Xu Shuyan!” Her voice rose slightly when she said her name, a clear sign of her frustration. Lin Yi tried to shake off Xu Shuyan’s hand and leave.
But then she heard Xu Shuyan whisper, “Alright, alright, I’m your wife, right?”
Lin Yi: “!”
Damn it, she had to get desensitized to that title sooner rather than later. Otherwise, she’d blush every time Xu Shuyan said it, which would make her seem so undignified and so in love with Xu Shuyan!
Xu Shuyan chased after her, calling out, “Wife? Wife? Wife, wife~”
“That’s enough!” Lin Yi stepped forward and covered her mouth, glaring at her with a ferocity that lacked any real heat. “You-you know, and that’s enough! Don’t argue with me anymore, you hear me!”
The moment she finished speaking, she felt a lick on her palm.
Lin Yi’s hand trembled slightly, and she snatched it back as if burned. Xu Shuyan just watched her quietly, her upward gaze pure and innocent, yet utterly alluring. “Heard you.”
Lin Yi: “…”
Damn it all, she loved Xu Shuyan a little bit more now.
Once everyone’s makeup was done and the cameras installed in every corner of the dorm were all running, the variety show officially began. As the planner, Xu Shuyan took the director’s place for the opening. “Welcome, everyone, to the set of the new season of The Notes’ group variety show, Girls’ Wonderland!”
Zhou Shichen and Lin Yi played along. “WOW~~~”
Yan Qi clapped.
“After three previous shoots, our members have been to an island, to Sichuan and Tibet, and even tried on wedding dresses. This time, it’s finally my turn to—”
“The Captain and I didn’t try on wedding dresses!” Zhou Shichen interrupted Xu Shuyan. “That was you and Xiao Yi.”
Yan Qi coughed and shot her a sideways glance.
Her eyes reminded Zhou Shichen not to forget that those two were dating. If they didn’t want to be exposed, they had to break up the CP. Resist. Stop shipping.
Thanks to her years of tacit understanding with Yan Qi, Zhou Shichen got the message and quickly reflected: Sorry, shipping has become an instinct. I’ll control it. It won’t happen again.
The two of them exchanged frantic glances on camera, which looked suspicious no matter how you saw it. Xu Shuyan smiled at the camera. “Sister Fang, if you’re watching this, please remember to cut this part out. Now, let’s start over!”
“…This time, it’s finally my turn to take the stage.” Xu Shuyan stubbornly finished her prepared line. “And now, to reveal the theme of this episode—it is!” She deliberately built suspense. “What could it be?”
Zhou Shichen threw a cushion at her. “If you don’t tell us, we’re not filming!”
Lin Yi chimed in from the side. “A certain girl group member is throwing a tantrum! Bullying the transparent director and threatening to walk off the set! Extra, extra! This is going to be a trending topic!”
“You’d be a natural at writing clickbait,” Xu Shuyan retorted precisely.
Only after the retort did she remember she was supposed to avoid interacting with Lin Yi. She mentally closed her eyes in frustration. How was she supposed to hold back? She had been fan-servicing with Lin Yi since their debut; responding to her, interacting, and making eye contact had all become instinct. She couldn’t hold back even before they were official, so how could she possibly hold back now that Lin Yi was her wife?
…For the money, she would endure.
Yan Qi hurried the proceedings along. “So what is it?”
Xu Shuyan snapped back to reality. “Oh,” she said. “It’s ‘Cute Kid in the House’!”
She pressed a button, and the balcony curtains slowly closed, shutting out the river view. She then had the AI turn off the lights. A projector lit up, displaying a photo of a little girl running on a lawn.
Xu Shuyan introduced her. “This is Teacher Zheng Chuyin’s baby, named Dou Bao. She’s five years old this year. Teacher Zheng has something to take care of today, so she’s asked us to look after her.”
This was, of course, complete nonsense. The famous actress Zheng Chuyin was a firm believer in not marrying, but she loved children, so she had her daughter, Dou Bao, through other means at the age of twenty-five. Her little Dou Bao was someone to be cherished, so precious she might melt in your mouth or break if you held her too tightly. When she wasn’t around, Dou Bao was always looked after by her maternal grandparents. How could she possibly entrust her to someone else?
The only reason she had agreed to let her participate in the show was because she had signed a safety agreement with the production team, guaranteeing that there would be absolutely no problems and that the child would not leave the residential complex.
But regardless of the background story, that wasn’t how it could be presented.
Xu Shuyan looked around. “Any questions? If not, I’ll have the staff bring Dou Bao up.”
Zhou Shichen and Lin Yi both shook their heads.
They had never taken care of a child before, but they knew Dou Bao was cute and well-behaved, which should make it incredibly easy. They couldn’t wait to start cuddling the little girl. “Hurry up!”
“Wait a minute.” Only Yan Qi looked troubled. “I’ve never learned how to take care of a child.”
She gave Xu Shuyan a reproachful look. “You should have told me the plan earlier, at least a month in advance. I could have taken a class. Now…”
She frowned. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You can,” Zhou Shichen said, wrapping an arm around hers encouragingly. “You don’t need a class to raise a child. Haven’t you seen how many parents are on the job without a license? If they can do it, why can’t you!”
Lin Yi quietly reminded her from the side, “Any more social commentary and this won’t air.”
Zhou Shichen: “…My apologies.”
Even if Yan Qi wanted to get certified, it was too late. There was a knock on the dorm room door; a staff member had brought Dou Bao. Xu Shuyan quickly had the AI turn the lights back on, saying, “Think of a welcoming ceremony,” as she trotted to the door.
“What kind of welcoming ceremony?” Lin Yi was baffled. “I heard Dou Bao really likes our group’s songs. Should we perform a bit for her right here?”
Zhou Shichen refused. “Dancing here would be so silly and awkward.”
Yan Qi had an idea. “Let’s give her a dance lesson. How about she learns a dance before she leaves?”
Zhou Shichen stared at her silently.
Yan Qi: “What’s wrong?”
Zhou Shichen said, “If only you knew what a happy childhood was.”
Yan Qi: “?”
As they were talking, there was a sudden commotion at the door. Xu Shuyan’s voice rose slightly. “You must have the wrong door, right? Or maybe you delivered the wrong person? Don’t you dare tell me Dou Bao suddenly shrunk into a baby!”
“What?” Lin Yi stood up and walked toward the door. “What happened?”
Xu Shuyan turned around.
Her lips trembled pitifully, and it looked like she was about to cry out “Wife, hold me” in the next second. Lin Yi was about to stop her when her eyes widened at the sight at the door.
A baby stroller stood silently in the doorway. The sunshade was lifted, revealing a fair, cute little face that looked no older than five months.
Perhaps sensing she wasn’t welcome, the baby locked eyes with Lin Yi for two seconds, then opened her mouth and began to wail.
Xu Shuyan: “!”
Lin Yi: “!!”
Zhou Shichen: “!!!”
Yan Qi: “…”
Good thing she hadn’t taken that class in advance. It would have been for the wrong specialty anyway.
Fifteen minutes later.
After a chaotic scene where Xu Shuyan held her, Lin Yi soothed her, and Zhou Shichen acted silly, the crying baby still hadn’t stopped. It was only during Yan Qi’s sermon on economics that she finally quieted down, blinking her big eyes and staring at Yan Qi without moving.
“…If the pursuit of equality is placed above the protection of individual rights,” Yan Qi was touched by the baby’s thirst for knowledge, and her voice softened, “then that society can neither guarantee individual rights nor achieve so-called equality.”
Lin Yi sat on the carpet, her chin resting on the edge of the bed. She looked up at Xu Shuyan and whispered, afraid of disturbing the baby, “Can she really understand that?”
Xu Shuyan shook her head silently.
Who cared if she could understand it or not? As long as she was quiet, that was all that mattered. She really didn’t want to recall what they had just been through for the past fifteen minutes. As Yan Qi’s voice grew softer and softer, her eyelids began to feel heavy. She suddenly jolted awake and pointed outside. “I’m going to find the production team.”
Lin Yi nodded emphatically. “Settle the score!”
Her emotions were running high, and her voice couldn’t help but rise. Xu Shuyan quickly made a shushing motion. Lin Yi pressed her lips together, then couldn’t help but yawn.
This economics lesson was way too sleep-inducing!
Looking at the four- or five-month-old baby who was listening with bright, knowledge-hungry eyes, Lin Yi flopped onto the bed. Xu Shuyan’s perfect plan had completely backfired, she thought. Instead of intellectually dominating a three- or four-year-old, they were now being thoroughly dominated by a tiny baby.
…What was even happening!
A short while later, Xu Shuyan returned. Lin Yi sat up, about to speak, but Xu Shuyan shook her phone, signaling for them to communicate via WeChat.
System: Xu Shuyan has changed the group name to – Where Did Dou Bao Go
Lin Yi: …
Zhou Shichen: Where did Dou Bao go? I’m asking, where did Dou Bao go?!
Xu Shuyan: I just spoke with the production team. They didn’t send the wrong one.
Xu Shuyan: If only you understood what variety show effect is… what plot twists are… what messing with the guests is…
Lin Yi: This is fraud!
Lin Yi: But my anti-fraud app is still on my phone!
Zhou Shichen: So this baby is?
Xu Shuyan: Teacher Zheng’s sister’s kid. She was the one the production team planned on from the beginning. Oh, her name is Tang Bao.
Lin Yi: …I want to be a ‘bao’ too.
Xu Shuyan: How about Cu Bao (Vinegar Bun)?
Lin Yi: [Hesitates.jpg]
Lin Yi: You’re the vinegar bun, your whole family are vinegar buns!
Xu Shuyan: Mmm, I am.
Zhou Shichen: What do you think this group chat is for! This is not the place for you to show off your affection!
Xu Shuyan: ?
Zhou Shichen: What I mean is, give us more.
Lin Yi: …
Lin Yi: What do we do now?
Xu Shuyan: We only have to watch her for the afternoon. Since Tang Bao loves listening to economics so much, we’ll have to trouble the Captain to keep lecturing her.
Lin Yi: Thank you for your hard work, Captain!
Zhou Shichen: Thank you for your hard work, Captain!
Xu Shuyan: Thank you for your hard work, Captain!
Xu Shuyan: @Lin Yi, my little vinegar bun, come with me to make some formula.
Lin Yi: [That’s enough [smile].jpg]
Zhou Shichen: Um… as much as I’d love to see the harmonious, domestic, and heartwarming scene of you two making formula together, according to your manager’s uncoupling plan… you two seem to, probably, maybe, possibly not be allowed to appear alone in the same frame.
Xu Shuyan: …
Lin Yi: …
Zhou Shichen: [Timidly touching index fingers.jpg]
Lin Yi: I am a little vinegar bun.
Xu Shuyan: “!”
Her hand resting on the bed began to itch. A voice in her head screamed incessantly: Lin Yi is so cute, I want to kiss her, I want to cuddle her! But just before she could act on it, she remembered Sister Fang’s words and forcibly suppressed the urge. She grunted in agreement. “Then Shichen and I will go.”
Sooner or later, I’m tearing that uncoupling plan to shreds! she thought resentfully.
Xiao Tang Bao really loved economics.
Lin Yi rested her chin on her hand, her eyes growing hazy as she listened to Yan Qi read from the economics text. She kept tilting her head, about to fall asleep. Xiao Tang Bao, however, listened with rapt attention, occasionally babbling in response to Yan Qi.
Yan Qi’s heart softened. She made a fist and bumped it against Xiao Tang Bao’s tiny one. “A kindred spirit.”
Lin Yi: “…”
Xiao Tang Bao grabbed Yan Qi’s index finger and giggled with delight. Lin Yi was struck by the cuteness, letting out a little “Aww” as she touched the baby’s chubby cheek. “What an adorable human cub!”
“Right?” Yan Qi said. “Xiao Tang Bao has a boundless future.”
But just as she said that, Xiao Tang Bao suddenly started crying again. This time, economics didn’t work. No amount of coaxing could stop her. Yan Qi picked up the note left by Tang Bao’s parents, read it quickly, and said, “We need to pick her up to soothe her.”
Lin Yi was at a complete loss. “I-I’ve never held a baby before, ahhh!”
“I’ll do it,” Yan Qi said.
With that, she lifted Xiao Tang Bao up. Lin Yi was horrified. “Let me do it, Captain!”
Yan Qi: “…”
So, when Xu Shuyan and Zhou Shichen returned after making the formula, the sight that greeted them was Lin Yi pacing the room with Xiao Tang Bao in her arms, singing a lullaby as she walked.
The skills of The Notes’ main vocalist were no joke; even her lullaby sounded heavenly. Yan Qi sat on the bed studying the note from the parents and praised Lin Yi, “Listening to you makes me want to sleep.”
“Me too,” Zhou Shichen said.
Only Xu Shuyan was distracted. She stuck the bottle into Xiao Tang Bao’s mouth, her ears filled with the gentle lullaby, but her mind had wandered.
She didn’t want to sleep.
…She wanted to sleep with Lin Yi.
Xiao Tang Bao was only four months old, after all, with limited energy. After listening to economics for so long, she now drank her milk while listening to Lin Yi’s lullaby and unknowingly drifted off to sleep. As the lullaby ended on its final note, Lin Yi let out a soft sigh of relief and mouthed, “She’s asleep.”
The other three also breathed a sigh of relief.
“Don’t put her down just yet,” Yan Qi said. “Hold her for at least another ten minutes, or she’ll wake up the moment you put her down.” She reached out her hands toward Lin Yi. “Let me hold her.”
After all, Xiao Tang Bao was her kindred spirit.
Lin Yi thought about Yan Qi’s method of holding a child and immediately, decisively shook her head. “I won’t trouble you, Captain.”
Yan Qi: “…”
She was hurt.
After this episode was done filming, she was going to sign up for a class. She would master the art of childcare, then go on a baby-related variety show to redeem herself.
Xu Shuyan said, “Captain, why don’t we go make dinner?”
Yan Qi grunted in agreement.
Zhou Shichen wanted to stay, but seeing how hurt Yan Qi looked, she was afraid she would get stuck in her own head. She stood up as well. “The three of us will go together.”
“Is that a good idea?” Xu Shuyan said. “Someone should stay here.”
“Then you stay,” Zhou Shichen said, pushing Xu Shuyan toward Lin Yi. “This segment will probably focus on the cooking in the kitchen. Once the baby can be put down, we can film a few peaceful, slice-of-life shots, and that’ll be enough. You can turn off the cameras for now.”
Xu Shuyan: “…”
Zhou Shichen was quite the planner.
Yan Qi stood by, looking thoughtful. Xu Shuyan asked, “What’s wrong, Captain?”
Yan Qi looked up. “Is my baby-holding technique really that bad?”
Xu Shuyan: “…There is no limit to learning.”
Zhou Shichen: “Some things you don’t need, you don’t need to learn!”
Yan Qi hummed in confusion and was pushed out the door by Zhou Shichen. After the door closed, Xu Shuyan casually turned off the camera by the door. Lin Yi asked from behind her, “Are you really turning it off?”
“It won’t be used even if we film it.” Xu Shuyan turned off the one facing the bed, then carefully checked to make sure she hadn’t missed any before turning back. “Are you tired? Let me hold her.”
Lin Yi shook her head gently. “No, I’m afraid she’ll wake up.”
Xu Shuyan shuddered at the thought of the consequences of waking her and sat down. She looked at Lin Yi for a moment, a sense of grievance welling up. “This production team is so mean, they even sabotaged the planner.”
In the past, Lin Yi would have been delighted to see Xu Shuyan get tricked. But now, she felt Xu Shuyan’s pain and joined her in complaining, “We’ll settle the score with them after we’re done filming!”
Xu Shuyan asked, “Are you on my side?”
“Of course I’m on your side,” Lin Yi said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Xu Shuyan: “Do you love me?”
Lin Yi: “?”
She subconsciously glanced down at the sleeping Xiao Tang Bao, her face turning slightly red. “What are you saying in front of a child!”
Xu Shuyan’s tone was teasing. “She can’t understand anyway~!”
That was true.
Lin Yi thought for a moment. “A little bit more than yesterday.”
Xu Shuyan smiled, triumphant.
But Lin Yi grew shy after the fact. Saying, “I’m going to the balcony for some air,” she laid Xiao Tang Bao on the bed, pulled back the curtain, and stepped outside.
After the curtain was drawn, it was quietly pulled open again, just a crack, and Lin Yi’s pretty face peeked through.
Xu Shuyan held back a laugh and asked her, “Done with your fresh air so quickly?”
Lin Yi was acting like a thief. “Did you turn off all the cameras? Check again.”
Xu Shuyan did as she was told, checking all around before shaking her head and smiling. “They’re all off. I even turned off the mics.” She stepped forward and pinched Lin Yi’s cheek. “What are you up to?”
Lin Yi puffed up the cheek she was pinching, pushing her hand away. Only then did she speak, a little awkwardly. “Since there are no cameras, I’ll allow you to kiss me now!”
With that, she puckered her lips, urging, enticing.
Xu Shuyan froze for a second, then broke into a smile. The hand that had been pushed away cupped Lin Yi’s face. She leaned in and planted a light peck on her puckered lips.
“I like you, too,” Xu Shuyan said.
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