NB Chapter41

Li Yi was not intimidated by my gaze; his eyes settled.

In an instant, it felt as though we were not in a dilapidated old apartment of seventy or eighty square meters but in a starkly lit interrogation room; Li Yi was no longer my junior colleague or close friend but the officer in charge of the interrogation. After confronting each other like this for half a minute, Li Yi noticed that I did not flinch. He frowned slightly, tossed the bankbook onto the coffee table, leaned back, and looked away from me.

I knew in my heart he was testing me, and I couldn’t help but feel agitated. Over the years, I had been through more suffering than I could count. I had faced trials of life and death, lost my freedom, and endured every kind of torment tied to love, morality, and human bonds; both mentally and physically. I never imagined that after finally making it to safety, the next person to put me on trial would be the colleague I had once trusted most. Anger burned inside me; feeling wronged and deeply misunderstood, I couldn’t even be bothered to ask Li Yi why he was treating me like this.

The two of us were quiet for a few minutes. I reached beneath the table’s second shelf and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, shook one loose, and slipped it between my lips before asking Li Yi for a lighter, my voice coming out muffled.

Li Yi subconsciously reached for his chest pocket. Seeing that half the lighter had already been pulled out, he resolutely shoved it back in.

I grew angrier and snapped at him: “Wow, no need to be so stingy. You haven’t even locked me up yet, and you won’t even lend me a lighter? It’s just a cigarette. Since I supposedly killed someone, the bounty for me should be enough for you to buy tens of thousands of packs.”

“Yu Fuchao, don’t think I don’t have a fire burning in my heart too.” Li Yi abruptly sat up straight, his brows drawn tight and his eyes blazing with anger as he pointed a finger sharply at me. “I never believed you were dead. I spent years searching for you, who would’ve thought you were off living comfortably as the pampered spouse in a rich household, having it easy just by adopting two kids!”

“You think being Zhang Mingsheng’s wife is some kind of dream job? If you’re so envious, you can go try it yourself!” I took the cigarette out of my mouth and slammed it onto the coffee table.

“I don’t have that kind of capability like Officer Yu!” As if competing to see who could slam things louder, Li Yi pulled out a metal lighter and, with a crisp snap, slapped it heavily onto the table.

Both of us sat back on the sofa in a huff, turning our heads away and refusing to look at one another.

The more I thought about it, the more baffled I became. I had lived such a secluded life for so many years that I hadn’t even killed a fish, let alone a person. Unconsciously, I reached for that cigarette again and picked up Li Yi’s lighter along with it.

“Put it down, you’re not allowed to smoke,” Li Yi said, putting on his officer persona. “Just look at the state of your health; you’re winded after walking a few steps, didn’t even realize your shoe had fallen off, and whenever you go out with Zhang Mingsheng, you’re wrapped up in sunglasses and capes, even riding around in a wheelchair. I’m genuinely worried a single cigarette might finish you off. If Zhang Mingsheng hasn’t killed you already, I’ll end up being the one responsible, and then he’ll probably sue me for murder.”

“It’s fine, Zhang Mingsheng sometimes lets me have one as well,” I said before quickly lighting the cigarette and bringing it to my lips. After a moment of contemplation, I asked him, “Who exactly told you I killed someone? And who was it supposed to be? Since you’re so convinced I committed murder, how come I’m the only one who never knew anything about it?”

“Teacher told me,” Li Yi said. “He said you were likely coerced by Zhang Mingsheng into committing crimes with him.”

How was that possible?

It was true that I was coerced by Zhang Mingsheng, but the closest thing to a crime I’d ever committed at the Zhang residence was accidentally overwatering and killing a plant the old butler had grown. That species was apparently very rare; if I had taken it, they could have pressed charges and opened a criminal investigation.

The more I thought, the stranger it felt. I pressed further, “When did Teacher tell you I killed someone?”

“When the fire broke out at your house back then, I noticed a lot of things that didn’t add up, but for some reason, everyone insisted it had been an accident. There was no autopsy, and the body was buried almost immediately.” Li Yi’s expression grew solemn. “I asked Teacher about it, but he kept his mouth shut and refused to say much. I had a feeling he’d been pulling strings behind the scenes, and sure enough, last month he finally told me he had arranged for someone to take the fall for you back then.”

“Teacher believes that you and Zhang Mingsheng committed those cases involving the torture and murder of police officers.” Li Yi’s eyes were dark like a hawk poised to strike. He was observing my reaction again.

“How could Teacher think that?!” I could no longer remain calm and demanded an answer loudly.

Li Yi said, “Teacher said that although the first few officers who died held high positions, they were the ones who handled the disappearance of Zhang Mingsheng’s parents when they were still young. Therefore, he feels the deaths of these people might be related to Zhang Mingsheng.”

“Just based on that? Never mind accusing me, even if you tried to pin the suspicion on Zhang Mingsheng, no judge would buy it either.” I avoided Li Yi’s gaze. This was the first time I had heard about Zhang Mingsheng’s affairs from someone else’s perspective. Teacher’s guess wasn’t baseless; he truly lived up to his reputation as an experienced veteran officer.

“At first, I also thought it was too far-fetched. But then I discovered that you had been missing for so many years and were actually by Zhang Mingsheng’s side all along. Moreover…” Li Yi hesitated, leaving his sentence half-finished.

I stared at him and said decisively, “Go on.”

“Moreover, Zhang Mingsheng always treated you differently back then. That outfit, that watch… did you think no one else knew?” Li Yi’s voice rose sharply as he mentioned these things, then suddenly dropped as he slumped back into the sofa dejectedly. “Teacher found your police ID in a corner of a homicide scene. Somehow, the officers in charge of the case overlooked it, and Teacher was the one who picked it up. He showed it to me; it was unquestionably your ID. It was very old, but it didn’t look like a forgery.”

Then, Li Yi cautiously added, “Actually, I asked Teacher if it was possible you accidentally dropped it there while investigating the scene. Teacher said that was also a possibility…”

“Impossible,” I interrupted him wearily.

 

Back then, when Zhang Mingsheng searched me, he went through everything I had on me without missing a single item. In the end, he only took my service pistol, my phone, and that newspaper clipping, while the rest was carelessly thrown into a corner. I had quietly picked up my ID and brought it with me when I fled; I even showed it to the driver, after which the fire broke out. The moment I opened my eyes after waking up, I was already by Zhang Mingsheng’s side, and I never saw my pistol or my police ID again. I had always assumed that Zhang Mingsheng took my ID to eliminate any future trouble.

In other words, I hadn’t lost my ID during the investigation. My ID was either lost in the fire or it was in Zhang Mingsheng’s hands.

Could it be that Zhang Mingsheng took the opportunity to frame me, wanting to bind me to him completely, and so he dropped the ID at the scene?

But he never hid his involvement in killing or arson from me; he was always one to take responsibility for his own actions. Why would he do something so low? It really didn’t fit his style.

Li Yi interrupted my contemplation, asking, “You said it’s impossible. Why?”

“Because I am certain that when the fire happened, the ID was still on me,” I replied to Li Yi while enduring a headache. “By the time I woke up again, it was gone.”

Li Yi was silent for a while before saying, “The Zhang family’s power is overwhelming; they aren’t someone we can take down. Teacher thought you killed someone and was determined to cover for you. When I told him you were at Zhang Mingsheng’s house, he said that perhaps that was the life you wanted.”

So that’s what men mentor thought of me.

No wonder, no wonder that day when Li Yi came to the Zhang residence, he refused to look at me or speak to me from beginning to end. He held a grudge against me in his heart.

“Li Yi,” I called out to him, “I didn’t kill anyone. Do you believe me?”

Li Yi glanced at me and curled back into the sofa. “If you say you didn’t, then I believe you. Even if you had killed someone, I would still let you go.”

My right hand froze mid-motion; I didn’t take another drag, just stared at the ember at the tip of the cigarette as it smoldered silently, a thin thread of white smoke curling upward.

After a moment, I said, “You can’t be a police officer like that.”

“I’ll give you a sum of money and help you escape. Once you’ve been on the run for three days, I’ll come after you. As long as I catch you with my own hands, I’ll make sure to bring you before the court.” Li Yi turned to look at me, his eyes clear.

This brat.

I let out a laugh and shoved his shoulder. In an instant, both of us seemed to forget the tension from moments earlier as if all our worries had been briefly shoved aside and pushed to the back of our minds. It wasn’t easy to reunite; we had to cherish this time together.

I took a ballpoint pen and wrote a prescription on a sticky note, asking Li Yi if he could get these medicines. My health was poor, and I was worried something might happen, so I needed to have medicine ready.

Li Yi furrowed his brows and examined it for a long time, saying he could only try his best to inquire around. Not only were these medicines expensive, but they weren’t items pharmacies kept in regular stock, and doctors wouldn’t prescribe them easily either. He pressed me on how exactly I ended up like this. I just smiled and didn’t give him any details, only saying that Zhang Mingsheng was a pervert.

After burning my set of clothes on the rooftop, we went back to the room to sleep.

When lying in bed that night, I kept replaying Li Yi’s words, “Once you’ve been on the run for three days, I’ll come after you” and couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I found myself thinking that this kid had changed quite a bit, and yet in some ways, he was still exactly the same.

Li Yi slept on the living room sofa; his breathing was very shallow, inaudible once the door was closed.

Gradually, I also grew drowsy and closed my eyes.

Li Yi’s words continued to echo in my ears, following me into my dreams; except as they swirled around, they were no longer in Li Yi’s voice.

In the dream, I felt myself climbing an endless staircase. I struggled upward with all my strength, each step heavy and labored, sweat dripping down my face, as though someone was relentlessly pursuing me from behind.

A man’s voice echoed through the hollow stairwell, carrying a faint smile as he cheerfully repeated the same line over and over, “Go ahead and run. I’ll start chasing you in a minute.”

Then he began to count down: sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight…

As I ran, I realized I no longer felt like myself; I couldn’t control my own limbs. I grew more exhausted with every step. Leaning against the handrail, I tried to see whether the owner of that voice had caught up. I glanced downward, only to find myself meeting a pair of bright, pitch-dark eyes.

Those eyes were so cold like iron submerged in deep water, or an iceberg capable of crushing a giant vessel.

The moment your eyes met them, it felt as though you would instantly be torn apart.

I woke up with a jolt and drenched in a cold sweat. It took a long while before I could steady myself.

I steadied myself and realized the room was flooded with bright light. Drawn by the noisy clamor outside, I turned my head and saw green-tinted glass set within redwood window frames. Looking farther beyond the bed, the upper half of the view opened to a clear blue sky, while below stretched a dense row of low-rise buildings, their vividly colored billboards jutting out at odd angles like twisted branches.

This was Li Yi’s bedroom.

I got up and went to the living room. Li Yi was already gone. On the small square dining table sat a plate of burnt fried eggs, a fairly decent plate of sandwiches, an old mobile phone, and a temporary SIM card.

There was also a sticky note.

I picked it up and read it carefully. Li Yi’s handwriting was surprisingly neat, the kind that looked like it belonged to an average middle-school student who somehow managed to be incredibly popular.

The note read: Don’t eat the fried eggs; they’re terrible. I only left them so you could see my effort, so you’d better be moved to tears of gratitude. The sandwiches were store-bought; they’re good.

I gave a helpless smile and slipped into the bathroom to freshen up. Li Yi had prepared quite a few toiletries; some were big brands, others were generic, clearly swiped from hotels. Even the slippers were as thin as paper. After tidying myself up a bit, I sat back down at the table to eat breakfast.

Looking up, I realized I had a perfect view out the window.

It was still early. The sun was a reddish orange like an undercooked egg yolk that would run if you poked it. Outside, the air was buzzing with the sound of people, but the temperature remained cool, keeping my mind from feeling noisy or restless.

I took a bite of the sandwich, and a faint pain stirred in my stomach.

I needed to change my clothes and get a haircut. And then? What else could I do?

I wanted to spend a little more time with Li Yi, and then I would go far away to find a place where no one knew me and quietly disappear.

I wondered where Keke and Xiao Yuan were now and what Zhang Mingsheng’s situation was.

My thoughts drifted back to the day of the earthquake, when I caught sight of Andrea and Song Yixing holding tightly to each other. The mother and son had looked like a sacred statue carved into the heart of some solemn, magnificent temple. And my own figure; turning away and leaving the children behind to run, must have resembled nothing more than a pitiful ghost scrambling to escape in terror before the gods.

But that was the only thing I could do; it was the only thing I had to do. If I allowed myself to be tied down by those children, I could only ever give them a twisted, incomplete affection for the rest of my life. How much better is that kind of love than no love at all?

I am a selfish person, but then again, who in this world isn’t?

I thought of Auntie Yang again.

Tears began to fall.

I took large gulps of the sandwich as if eating more would make me fuller and give me more courage. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my cheek, and a salty, metallic taste spread through my mouth. I had bitten into my own flesh.

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