NB Chapter40

Together with Li Yi, I lowered my head and we merged into the noisy, surging crowd.

The neighborhood where he lived was like a balcony draped in laundry, giving off a sense of having nowhere to fit, yet remaining warm and cozy. Everywhere the eye could see was packed. Advertisements of all sizes clung to the old buildings like faded labels, their colors subdued and heavy, all rendered in thick, bold types. The streets were teeming with people; looking down, even though summer hadn’t yet arrived, everyone already seemed eager to wear flip-flops. Lively, how could it not be lively? It felt as though all the mouths and tongues in the world had gathered here, their voices weaving together into a net of varying density; within it, the “30% off” blaring repeatedly from the record store speakers formed the thickest strand.

Even though an earthquake had just occurred not long ago, all the sounds had already resumed their usual weaving.

Li Yi had lived here since moving out of the apartment we shared. Many years had passed, and even though he received promotions and raises, he never moved away. Consequently, the neighbors had all become acquaintances. He pulled me through various twists and turns until we finally entered a stairwell.

As we headed up the stairs, we happened to meet an elderly woman carrying a white basket coming down. Seeing Li Yi, she greeted him kindly, “Officer Li, you’re not on duty today?”

After speaking, she tilted her head and looked at me with a smile, “If I remember correctly, this is the first time you’ve brought a girl home.”

I felt inexplicably embarrassed and turned my head away.

“I have the day off today. Since there was just an earthquake, is everyone in your family alright?” Li Yi didn’t answer her question; instead, he took two large strides forward to make room for her, arranging us into a single file.

“It’s no problem,” the old woman said before slowly making her way down as she passed us. “In all my years of living, there’s nothing I haven’t seen.”

Just when I thought the conversation that had embarrassed me was over, the old woman, who had already gone down, suddenly called out to us, “Officer Li, you’re dressed so nicely yourself, so why did you only buy your girlfriend one shoe? People break wine bottles on the road every day; stepping around on that is very dangerous.”

Subconsciously, I looked down and realized the shoe on my left foot had vanished into thin air, leaving the white sole of my sock a filthy mess. Fortunately, I hadn’t stepped on any sharp objects; otherwise, my foot might have been ruined without me even noticing. What terrible luck.

Li Yi saw this too. Ever the optimist, he only cared about the spectacle I was making and immediately burst into laughter, not forgetting to shout back to the old woman, “It’s not my fault! He’s the one who’s always losing things!”

The old woman turned away with a smile, lifted a hand in our direction without looking back, and disappeared around the corner.

Looking at Li Yi’s half-smiling expression, I wasn’t in the mood for banter. I gave him a push to signal for him to hurry up and open the door.

Perhaps truly unable to bear the sight of me standing outside with one bare foot, Li Yi didn’t crack any more jokes. He pulled a brass key from his pocket and rattled it into the security door. Then, he fished out a silver, square-headed key to open the dark red inner door. As the two doors swung open, the mint-green floor came into view. It was clean enough, but everything was in disarray. The living room alone was a mess: clothes were strewn across the sofa, and the brown coffee table was cluttered with plastic bags of food, along with a few books and teacups.

I guessed that after Li Yi returned from the supermarket, he had stuffed the frozen items into the fridge and dumped the snacks that didn’t need preserving directly onto the coffee table, easy to grab whenever he felt hungry.

As soon as I walked in, I was hit by an indescribable smell; not unpleasant, but unmistakably the scent of a place that was truly lived in.

“Is it really that hard to hire a part-time cleaner?” I said wearily as I entered, brushing past Li Yi as he welcomed me in.

“Hey, saving a life is worth more than building a seven-story pagoda. I just rescued you from the wolf’s den, so don’t go repaying kindness with enmity.” Li Yi said while wrinkling his nose. He closed the door behind him and followed me deeper into the living room.

“Don’t worry, I won’t stay long. Help me buy a few sets of clothes and some shoes. I need to take a shower.” I said as I pushed open the bathroom door. The space was small with the shower and bathtub cramped together. The mirror hadn’t been wiped in God knows how long; it was covered in a layer of gray dust. I guessed Li Yi was usually so busy that he didn’t care about looking in the mirror, let alone cleaning it.

I didn’t tell him.

Actually, I had originally planned to commit s*icide today.

“What do you mean, you ‘won’t stay long’?” Li Yi buried himself in the pile of laundry, rummaging for a while before pulling out a set of clothes and handing them to me. “A sweater my mother knitted for you. She makes one every year. This is this year’s, it’s new.”

I looked at the ginger-yellow sweater he held out. I gently stroked the tight, fine stitching after taking it. A pang of bitterness hit my heart as I asked, “She doesn’t know I… doesn’t know I died?”

“I didn’t tell her. Her health isn’t great, and I was afraid she’d be heartbroken. Besides, she moved back to the countryside anyway.” Li Yi scratched his head. “Plus, you aren’t dead. So, what did you mean by ‘won’t stay long’?”

“It won’t be long before Zhang Mingsheng comes looking for me. I can’t let you get dragged into this,” I said, clutching the clothes as I walked into the bathroom. Leaning against the doorframe, I gave the door a gentle push, closed it, and turned the lock.

Leaning against the other side of the door, Li Yi spoke with brazen confidence: “There are so many people here that they’d have to be pressed chest to back just to squeeze in. How is he supposed to make a move? Besides, at worst I die. It’s no big deal, I’m not even afraid.”

Through the door, his voice sounded muffled.

I quickly stripped off my clothes, exposing my shoulders. “Always talking nonsense. Do you even know what death means? Once you’re dead, everything is gone.”

“How could I not know? Yu Fuchao, in these last few years, I’ve seen far more dead people than you could ever imagine. Once, during a mission, a colleague was shot and collapsed right next to me. Blood kept gushing from the bullet hole. I tried to cover it for him, but there was just so much blood.” Li Yi’s voice grew solemn. His silhouette was a faint, dark shape blurred by the frosted glass.

“He grabbed my hand. My first instinct was to run; I wanted to run so badly and to escape that sight. But he held on so tightly while struggling to keep his eyes open, trying to look at me. At that moment, I thought, what would Senior do if he were here? So, I gripped his hand tightly, and then… I felt his hand suddenly limp. That’s death. I know it; that was death.”

Li Yi’s voice grew softer and softer until he finally fell silent.

For a moment, both of us were quiet.

I lowered my gaze to the pink scar on my wrist and said, a little lonely, “You did better than I would have.”

“Of course I did!” Li Yi’s voice suddenly turned cheerful again. “I’ve always thought I was better than you; it’s just that Teacher was biased toward you. Anyway, I’ll leave you to your shower.”

That kid.

I knew he always avoided talking about his own feelings, and I shook my head helplessly.

The shower water fluctuated between hot and cold, so I didn’t dare stay in too long. I gave myself a quick rinse and lathered up with some soap. Wrapping myself in a bath towel, I lifted a wet hand and wiped the mirror twice. A stranger’s silhouette appeared on its surface.

He was very thin, with long hair, single eyelids, and several scars across his body. I had lived with this man for eight years; we were almost on the verge of becoming one. I felt around, feeling for a razor. But the bathroom light was too dim, and the place was a mess; having just showered, I didn’t feel like rummaging through things, so I gave up.

Ultimately, I couldn’t die in front of Li Yi.

I pulled on the clothes and headed out to find Li Yi watching television. He was leaning comfortably back on the sofa with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

The news was reporting on today’s earthquake. He clicked the remote several times, but aside from the cartoon channel, every station was talking about it.

I grabbed the cleanest-looking towel I could find to dry my hair, rubbing it over my head as I sat down beside him.

Looking closely, I realized a gossip program was broadcasting news related to Andrea’s concert.

My heart skipped a beat; I didn’t know whether anyone had captured the footage of Li Yi pulling me along as we fled. Seeing me lean forward, watching intently, Li Yi didn’t change the channel.

After ten minutes, there wasn’t a single word about anyone escaping. It only spoke of the deep bond between Andrea and her son, showing them embracing tightly during the earthquake. Then it moved on to how the young master of the Zhang family had shielded his daughter and was hospitalized after being hit by falling equipment.

The earthquake was an accident, but unstable concert equipment was not. With the Song family behind Andrea and Zhang Mingsheng bearing the Zhang surname, the gravity of the situation went without saying.

In the interview, Andrea’s face was filled with guilt, and her eyes were slightly red, appearing somewhat shaken. She said, “I was truly worried and panicked when I heard about Kevin. We will do our absolute best to make amends. We aren’t allowed to visit the intensive care unit yet, but I believe Kevin will be fine. Fortunately, his wife and two children are unharmed; otherwise, I would have felt guilty for the rest of my life.”

“Kevin?” Li Yi repeated Zhang Mingsheng’s name. “That’s really quite a tacky choice. Well, at least for now he won’t be coming after us to play The Shining, and I won’t have to worry about my door being chopped down with an axe.”

Ignoring his sarcasm, I hung on Andrea’s every word. Zhang Mingsheng had been injured and hospitalized; Keke and Zhang Xiaoyuan were fine; no visitors were allowed; it sounded fairly serious. Could someone like him actually get hurt?

Andrea said his wife was fine, but his wife wasn’t even there, so there was no “fine” or “not fine” to speak of.

Who was taking charge of the situation? Could it be Zhang Yaonian?

What would happen to the two children? Wouldn’t they fall into his hands? Damn it, the Zhang family mansion is older than I am, and yet it still hasn’t collapsed.

Lost in thought, I began to bite my fingernails.

“What? Are you worried about him?” Li Yi teased in a strange, drawn-out voice. “Worried about Kevin—”

I couldn’t be bothered to respond to him. Frowning, I said, “Zhang Mingsheng’s grandfather is a cruel man. If he takes the children away, their lives won’t be easy.”

“They aren’t your kids, so what are you worried about? Don’t tell me you’ve actually developed feelings for them,” Li Yi said, naturally assuming the children were adopted. Then he tossed out a comment: “Though, I did find it strange; that little boy looks like you, while the girl’s features look like Zhang Mingsheng.”

Nonsense.

How could Zhang Xiaoyuan possibly look like me?

He didn’t know that Keke was my child.

But I couldn’t explain the details to him, so I simply focused on drying my hair.

“You have white hair. Quite a few strands, Senior.” He leaned in suddenly, very close, and pinched a strand of hair on my head; one I couldn’t tell was black or white.

“I’m getting older, it can’t be helped.” I brushed him off nonchalantly.

The next second, he yanked the strand out, making me wince in pain. “What are you doing!”

He held the hair up to show me. “See? It really is white.”

That thin, white hair rested on his knuckle, barely visible if one didn’t look closely.

Having proven his point, Li Yi leaned down and blew it away. He shifted his body, pulled out a bankbook, and resolutely handed it to me. “There’s some money in here. If you don’t want to turn yourself in, and you get tired of living here, you can run far away.”

I froze in shock, staring at him wide-eyed, utterly unable to understand what he meant. After a long silence, I finally asked, “Why would I turn myself in?”

“You,” Li Yi’s expression grew complex, his gaze shifting to the same look he had given me when he came to the Zhang house for dinner. He said, “Didn’t you kill someone?”

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